Outing with LY + NB Kena scold again!!!! = EVERYTHING MY FAULT LAH?!

Went out with LY yesterday. Let her vent out her frustrations. I only know how to listen but don't know how to comfort people. Haiz...hope that will help her somehow. I pity her that she has tons of stupid homework to be done and her classmates are really not helping at all. But then, when you are studying in a "high-class" school, most of the people there you meet will be nothing but snobs! Trust me!

Kelly later join along to go to Anchor point. It has been a long time since I last went there and a lot of things have changed! They have a lot of new shops there and Kelly was very excited shopping. When we enter a shop called,"Bilabong", she ask me a question which made me very angry at the BITCH!!! TMD!!!! You like to spread gossip about me to other people is it?! I tell you because you were my friend then and I TRUSTED you!!!! Too bad I have trusted the WRONG person!!!! And all you can do is to just gossip about me and spread news about me around!!!! NB!!!! But LY says that she don't look down on me. Rather, she is 佩服 that I can go through all these ALONE. It's not that I do not treat her as a friend that I don't want her to know or whatever. It's just that I feel very 丢脸 that I did this when I was still young. If I ever find that bitch I will straggle her!!!

Send LY home and she gave me a lot of facial products. So far so good but a few of the products I use it wrongly. End up my face being very red. She talk to me a lot of things at her place too. Haiz...how I wish I can have a Meimei like her but....I don't know how to take care even for my own sibling! I hardly talk to my bro but I know that we will always be close no matter what. Some times I feel that LY, for her, she have a sister like have no sister. It makes no difference! Some more, I don't think HY knows the meaning of KINSHIP. Now she's moving out to live outside, only God knows which boyfriend she lives with(or how many bfs she lives with) owe money and don't want to pay back! Have you ever met such a lousy person?! Can't trust her word that she'll return at all!!! Have the money to buy branded bag but no money to return!

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Scary guy....

Went to work in the morning and got scolded by manager again. Asking me whether is it that I do not have enough sleep cos my face is very black early in the morning. For your information, when I am deprive of sleep, my face be black. Just that you will notice I have half-shut eyes. My face is "black" because early in the morning, humph! Don't know which kuku like to bang things around and then shout at me using that demanding tone! You tell me lah!? How can ANYONE be happy working early in the morning, when the first thing they go to work, is to being SHOUTED at?! I keep quiet because I know if I ever talk back, you won't be happy REGARDLESS of what I say! I am just a "prawn" mah. You are "King" mah! What to do? Haiz...

Met LY on Friday. Saw Angel before that because I can instantly recognise her from her BACK VIEW. I enquire her about a position she offer me in her workplace but after hearing the job scope, I decline her offer cos I don't want to go through the same hell at office work place again. When I saw LY from afar, she shock and at the same time, surprise me. She look exactly like the "ME" when I was 17 years old. Long black hair, pale face(but that is because for her, her health is not very good) her eyes tells me that she deprived of sleep too. After bidding Angel goodbye, I talk to LY. Her school mates really sucks to the core! But no choice, in a "high-class" school, you will bound to meet some "act-high-class educated-act-Ang-moh" people. I pity her that she can't submit her school project on time.

I am sad that I can't help her much. Sorry, I am really a very bad comforter. I only know how to listen. Called BaoBei down and he talk a lot of things to her to make her feel better. BaoBei is a good comforter than me. That is why I called him. LY, don't feel like light-bulb. Just treat us as normal can? I am constantly worried about her as she is very low-self(Like me) hey! But at least she got talent ok? Not like me. LY, Ni ke yi de!

Went to meet the my SL friends again last week. Went for A's birthday bash at Sentosa. Her party is boring because she only talk with her RL friends. After that, we went for prawning at AMK with Jzy, J, SY, db, BaoBei and me. S later joined in. I am an very impatient person so it bored me prawning for 3 hours! But in the end, I manage to catch 2 prawns. 1 of them I caught it blurly. Cos when I was checking Jzy out, I didn't realise the prawn is biting my line. BaoBei said,"Your rod have something! Pull it out!" It was a big prawn! But not as big as BaoBei's 1st catch! He caught the biggest prawn in the group!

After work, I went to my usual bus stop to wait for my bus. While waiting, I played my PSP game and was engross in the game. A Malay guy approach me at first and speak to me in Malay. I don't understand him so I shake my head, he said in English,"May I know what time is it?" I took out my phone and told him the time. Later, he sat beside me and said his name is Shai and ask if he could be my friend? After that he chat with me and ask me a lot of questions. When he ask,"You got boyfriend?" I said,"Yes" he look very disappointed. I bid him goodbye and board the bus home.

St.James Power house

Met a lot of SL people yesterday at St.James. "R" invite me and BaoBei to the event, but I doubt she will invite us again. Later on, I will tell you why. There were about 7 of us there. Met "Jo" for the 1st time and she is not what I expected her to be. Well? What to do? It's SL! I feel like backing out at that moment at the entrance because "Jo" said at the very last minute that she can only bring TWO of the SEVEN of us in! But luckily for BaoBei, he was one of the guys who "Jo" selected to go in with her(For FREE).

We went inside and there was live band there. Later on, there was dancing. Saw "Glan" and his RL friends there. They were all so pretty can?! Went to get drinks with "R" and I had my usual Whiskey coke, while Tuil and "R" order something else. I was surprise Tuil only order fruit punch?! Hmmm...never mind. Went to the other club in less than 30 minutes of being there.

At the other club, they opened bottles under "R"'s name. Played 10s, 5s, and 20s with Jeff(Jo's RL friend). Glan join us later in the night. Poor him, he has to run two clubs at that night. There's one point before I was dead drunk, I remember Glan sat beside me really close(as in FULL body contact) and talking to someone else. "W" was beside me, shaking his head with the music. Later on, I felt a hand on my right shoulder for a brief moment before the hand moved away. I have no energy to lift my head to see whose hand it was. I am still sober to know the things around me though I am drunk. Just that my ears....the music seems to be drifting further and further away. BaoBei claims that the hand I felt was his so I just assume it is.

Walk back to the other club to join Glan and BaoBei keep pushing me to dance with the girls. There is one guy who tried to dance very close with "R"(cos "R" is the prettiest among us girls) I keep staring at that guy and I realize through out the night, "J" was beside "R" all along. They used to be SL couples. Since day one, "J" has almost always been beside "R". I said almost because the very first meeting, the group photo, I was standing in between "J" and "R". I did not know they were SL couples then. If I had knew, I wouldn't stand in between them. After the meeting, I heard that they broke up in SL shortly after. I blame myself for their broke up because, as a superstitious person, there is a saying, during photo-taking, a person CANNOT stand BETWEEN a couple. It's a very bad omen. But from their contact, I can feel that "J" still likes "R" very much. I also pray that one day, they will be finally together again, this time, in RL!

Went home with BaoBei in the end cos he nag about my drinking. He says he is worried about me going home alone. Hello!? I went home by MYSELF before when I was dead drunk ALONE ok? He says that he has his responsibility. Haiz...guy's ego...haiz...

I think I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

p.s: Li yi, I know you are upset. I am glad that you have a friend to confide into. I am also your friend ok? You also can look for me. Take good care of yourself especially YOUR HEALTH. I am worried for you.

Movie

Went to watch "Money not enough 2" yesterday. The movie was funny but it talks about real life stories of what Singaporeans are facing currently. Raising oil prices, raising cost of living. I like Hwee Ge sentence,"Government always raise this raise that but yet our pay still remains the same!" He echos my heart-felt feeling towards my current life. Singapore has rank the 5th MOST EXPENSIVE country to live in on a worldwide survey! How pathetic is that?! Transport price are going to raise again on October. I think it's time I take bicycle instead of MRT to work. Of course I have to wake up very early. I really cannot stand living in Singapore anymore! I have discuss with BaoBei about migrating to another county but because we are short of cash and my qualification is low, I don't know if I could survive overseas?

Things are work wasn't going well. I do not know whether or not to resign my work? I am very tired of all these. What is the use of working so hard but yet NOBODY appreciates of what you do and your work is NOT recognise? Keep saying that I didn't try hard enough!!! When I do, DO YOU EVER NOTICE?! No! You only care about your ******* part-timer!!! He does LESS work but he get MORE PAY!!! Fair? He can joke and laugh with you at work!!! When my other colleague and me have only a SHORT chit-chat at work, YOU STARE AT US! FAIR?!

I have been thinking a lot of things recently. I am considering really hard whether or not to tender my resignation? Cos if I tender now without looking for a job first, the good thing is IF I got my last month's incentive, it can really last me for 1 month 2 week of my jobless period. If I got only $800, It can only last me at most 2 weeks or 3. Then, on Straits Times, there's a newspaper cover saying that jobs are not as rosy because employers are now very careful about who they hire for work. I ask Ivan a question: Should I tender first before looking for a job or the other way round? He says depends whether I have enough money for me to survive for my jobless period? I have things to pay other than my own hp bill!

Sometimes, I really wish to end my life at some point of my life. Cos I was thinking,"I am just a rubbish and garbage in this world!" I have no talent. Everyone has a talent in some ways but I have none. I only know it's something you LOVE to do, and you don't mind doing it even if it's for free. That is your talent. It's something you are very good at. Until now I really do not know what is mine? BaoBei's talent is cooking and drawing. Li Yi's talent is drawing(I have seen a few pieces of her work before) or maybe something else that I do not know. My brother is computer gaming and Maths. Me? I do not know. Lorraine says my talent is my poetry but I don't agree with her. Though yes, I love to publish my self-created poems but because I believe there are more experts poetry's than me, so I don't believe my talent is that. Even if it is, Poems can't get me anywhere at all! It's just something I love to do and my poems inspiration doesn't come easily like others. It's not something that I anyhow write about it or think once and I can create that kind. I don't have that kind of inspiration. I have to struggle to think about how to express something that I felt in words! Those who had seen my published poems before on this blog, you should know my poems doesn't contain strong words or my poems are not the kind that make people go,"WOW!" or "Wah!" that kind. Though I did remember publish one of my MOST SIMPLEST poem on wholivesnearyou.com and I got a "WOW" response from a reader, and another poem which brings a tear to A GUY'S EYE! Imagine a GUY reading my poem and he almost cried reading it!? I don't know. Poems still can't get me anywhere. The reason why I am dis-satisfied with my own poems, is because mine is not the shake spear kind of poem. I am not even close to shake spear. Shake spear is the most elegant, well-written poem that I have ever read in my entire life. Those who study literature in secondary school, now you know why I am not satisfied with my own work? That kind of poem, even if it is written in anger, you can still find gracefulness in that poem. Sorry, I can't write that way. However, I will try to write it that way if I ever can.

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.