Movie

Went to watch "Money not enough 2" yesterday. The movie was funny but it talks about real life stories of what Singaporeans are facing currently. Raising oil prices, raising cost of living. I like Hwee Ge sentence,"Government always raise this raise that but yet our pay still remains the same!" He echos my heart-felt feeling towards my current life. Singapore has rank the 5th MOST EXPENSIVE country to live in on a worldwide survey! How pathetic is that?! Transport price are going to raise again on October. I think it's time I take bicycle instead of MRT to work. Of course I have to wake up very early. I really cannot stand living in Singapore anymore! I have discuss with BaoBei about migrating to another county but because we are short of cash and my qualification is low, I don't know if I could survive overseas?

Things are work wasn't going well. I do not know whether or not to resign my work? I am very tired of all these. What is the use of working so hard but yet NOBODY appreciates of what you do and your work is NOT recognise? Keep saying that I didn't try hard enough!!! When I do, DO YOU EVER NOTICE?! No! You only care about your ******* part-timer!!! He does LESS work but he get MORE PAY!!! Fair? He can joke and laugh with you at work!!! When my other colleague and me have only a SHORT chit-chat at work, YOU STARE AT US! FAIR?!

I have been thinking a lot of things recently. I am considering really hard whether or not to tender my resignation? Cos if I tender now without looking for a job first, the good thing is IF I got my last month's incentive, it can really last me for 1 month 2 week of my jobless period. If I got only $800, It can only last me at most 2 weeks or 3. Then, on Straits Times, there's a newspaper cover saying that jobs are not as rosy because employers are now very careful about who they hire for work. I ask Ivan a question: Should I tender first before looking for a job or the other way round? He says depends whether I have enough money for me to survive for my jobless period? I have things to pay other than my own hp bill!

Sometimes, I really wish to end my life at some point of my life. Cos I was thinking,"I am just a rubbish and garbage in this world!" I have no talent. Everyone has a talent in some ways but I have none. I only know it's something you LOVE to do, and you don't mind doing it even if it's for free. That is your talent. It's something you are very good at. Until now I really do not know what is mine? BaoBei's talent is cooking and drawing. Li Yi's talent is drawing(I have seen a few pieces of her work before) or maybe something else that I do not know. My brother is computer gaming and Maths. Me? I do not know. Lorraine says my talent is my poetry but I don't agree with her. Though yes, I love to publish my self-created poems but because I believe there are more experts poetry's than me, so I don't believe my talent is that. Even if it is, Poems can't get me anywhere at all! It's just something I love to do and my poems inspiration doesn't come easily like others. It's not something that I anyhow write about it or think once and I can create that kind. I don't have that kind of inspiration. I have to struggle to think about how to express something that I felt in words! Those who had seen my published poems before on this blog, you should know my poems doesn't contain strong words or my poems are not the kind that make people go,"WOW!" or "Wah!" that kind. Though I did remember publish one of my MOST SIMPLEST poem on wholivesnearyou.com and I got a "WOW" response from a reader, and another poem which brings a tear to A GUY'S EYE! Imagine a GUY reading my poem and he almost cried reading it!? I don't know. Poems still can't get me anywhere. The reason why I am dis-satisfied with my own poems, is because mine is not the shake spear kind of poem. I am not even close to shake spear. Shake spear is the most elegant, well-written poem that I have ever read in my entire life. Those who study literature in secondary school, now you know why I am not satisfied with my own work? That kind of poem, even if it is written in anger, you can still find gracefulness in that poem. Sorry, I can't write that way. However, I will try to write it that way if I ever can.

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.