Haiz...

Went to Singapore Indoor Stadium yesterday to watch some concert. I was quite disappointed with the overall show. Got a free sample of beverage to try. The last time I tried the other type, it didn't suit my taste. Went for supper with WeiDa at Geylang...and I regretted going there.

When I went into the store, I turned and saw WanXia(I finally remembered her name). She was with a girl and a guy. But I ignored her and gesture to WeiDa if we could sit behind?(Cos I dun wish to sit in front of them. But...haiz....blame me for being too tamid and quiet. He suggest to sit at that very place I hated cos of the air-condition. -_-"

From the start, I ear-drop on what they say(My left ear is very sharp at listening things). After our food came, Wan Xia said,"Wah! So much they can finish meh?" Her friend said,"Ai yah! She so fat! Confirm cannot finish one lah!" I almost wanted to cry but never mind. BaoBei and his friends are there so cannot make him lose face. I just try very hard not to shed my tears. Throughout the event, I kept very quiet even when Wei Da ask me things. I just shake or nod my head(cos I was still ear-dropping Wan Xia's group of friends). Then they said something about very obvious? I think they meant my bra strap. Cos it was my first time wearing a bikini with halter top kind(if you can imagine how it look like). When I couldn't stand it any longer, I took my bag and tried to take out my hp but it contain some free samples of 1-shape. They then comment on it(WAH LAU EH!!!!! MUST THEY TALK SO OBVIOUS AND SO LOUD FOR ME TO HEAR!? NNB!!!!! CAN'T THEY LEAVE ME IN PEACE?!) that it can lost 4.2kg in a week.(Not 2.4 meh?! NB duno don't anyhow say lah!!! Stupid brainless bitches!!! People say Big breast no brain. I think she's no breast + no brain! = Shameless brainless sluttiest bitch!!!!) I keep quiet but my expression was like this -_-"

After they left, I then told BaoBei and Wei Da that the girls sitting behind us was my ITE classmate and how they used to bully me. They said,"Why didn't you told us earlier?! We can "shoot" them with our "style"" But never mind. I feel very unlucky...everywhere I go I seems to get bullied. Sometimes I wonder where is the old "me" gone? How gutless I am..sigh...

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Freedom VS Relationship

Sick and tired of my life nowadays. Recently I have been thinking,"Whether BaoBei is really suitable for me after all"? I realize I had lost most things when I am with him. It has been a long time since I last went clubbing. I kinda miss clubbing life. BaoBei forever will not understand why clubbers like me like to go clubbing so much? I heard that clubs do not accept anyone below 18 and above 30 or 40 yrs old. I just wanna visit all the clubbing places in Singapore just to soak in the amosphere and see the clubbing place itself just once. Is that too much to ask for?

Early in the relationship, BaoBei already forbid me to go clubbing. So what if he loves bar-ing? I love clubbing. That is my preference. Why can't I have my own preference? Read the Straits Times today and I realize that there's a lot of clubs in Singapore that I have yet to visit. It's been too long since I last went clubbing. Even just to go there for look-look see-see also forbids me to.

I am starting to having second thoughts on our relationship. I should have notice way earlier in our relationship that this is not going to work out but I didn't. I thought "Give and take will be okay" but it seems that it is not the case. There are things about him that started to irritate me now just that I just bear with it. I don't know why am I in this relationship for?

Maybe I should remain single for the rest of my life. So what if I had no partner to take care of me? I don't wish to live that long anyway. There are times I wish I could end my life. Recently I have found some way to die without anyone knowing and even if police were to found your body, surprisingly, they will classified you as "Un-natural death" or "accident" I have already found some of these ways to die. Just that I have many un-finished business in my life to take care of. Wait till I settled those un-finished business first before I can finally leave this world. Once I had finished, I will bid my friends a formal "Goodbye" and take my leave peacefully. I have been living unhappily for the most of my life anyway. What's the point of living if you are so unhappy with life?

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

PS: If only I had the courage to die...