Emotions

There are times I really wish to give up on everything and just leave this stupid chaotic world.
Last month, a so-called "new colleague" join my workplace. Ever since he's here, he either intentionally or un-intentionally create a lot of troubles for me. Whatever I do, he will always put pressure on me by saying,"If you are not happy working here then I'll let Albert know" Albert is our top Executive Chef. I am not happy with the way he handle things. Just because his IQ is smarter than me so he can bully me? I just have to tolerate but for how long more? I do not know

Not many people can be trusted nowadays. Especially your colleagues! I realize the more closer your relationship with people, the more you can't put your trust in them cos you'll never know when will they ever betray or at least gossip about you behind your back. That is what it is happening to me at my workplace.

The other day when we went to the newly opened Universal Studio, Belvin didn't even greet BaoBei. He told me yesterday that BaoBei is a kinda useless guy who isn't worth to be greeted. Just because he knows certain things of my secrets that spread from Jing, he look down on BaoBei. Others who know began to follow suit.

I admit that most of the time I am unhappy with BaoBei. I just don't know how to express my thinking and unhappiness to him anymore. So I keep quiet about it. Actually I am thinking of breaking up more than three times in these 3 years. I am afraid that one day if I couldn't take it anymore I will just leave without a word.

Suicidal thoughts have been crossing my mind too. But I know I will not attempt any of it for now cos of my parents. But I still do not know how long I could endure all the pent up stress and unhappiness in my life. I do not know what exactly do I want anymore.

Will end here for now. Continue some other time