Work was tired for me these days. I am disappointed and sad that BaoBei don't understand my feelings and those who really do understand how I feel, are my colleagues on the job. I feel very depress and upset that I am always seems to be bullied by people at work and get cheated continuously! I just learnt that I am earning a salary that is even LESSER THAN PART-TIMERS?! How pathetic is that?! I just realize that BaoBei don't like to hear my complaints at all(but anyway, who on earth would like to hear people complaining anyway?) So...I think of 2 ways which BaoBei won't like it but what can I do?
1) Keep it to myself
2) Cut myself
Nowadays I don't even know what I am living for anymore. Been asking myself when can I leave this world? I don't know why too. Just tired of everything. BaoBei and...someone else are my only source and reason for my existance. BaoBei sometimes ask me what's in my mind and I told him,"Nothing" cos I don't know how to talk to him or share things with him anymore. I just don't know how to tell him what's in my mind. But anyway, people who know me well, will know that I tend to think a lot of things in my mind that are mostly negative or senseless. So in the end, there's no point sharing.
Looking back at my life, I don't know what exactly I have been doing? The only days I find myself living my happiess world are the days where I hang out with my ex-gang members, which have since dispense, and the days where everyone seems to fear me in school. Of course, BaoBei also play a part for my happiness. He complete me. But still, something seems to be missing. I just can't figure it out what?
Hating myself more and more each day!!! Feel like dying but I couldn't. Anyway, I haven't take my revenge and have not seen some people getting their retributation yet!!! Although your life is worthless to me, but don't make me have the mindset to kill you one day!!! I can do anything when my mind goes into crazy state!!! YOU WILL GET YOUR RETRIBUTATION SOON TOO!!!! SLUT!!!
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