Things are not going well for me these days. Recently I realize that whenever Ivan is around, I need to spend more than $50 on food and cab fare to go out with them. Esther, it's not that I am not happy or whatever but I am thinking, if we need to spend so much money in long term to go out, I might as well meet you all once in a very blue moon. By the way, thanks for helping me to organise my birthday.
I am very sad, disappointed and regret introducing BaoBei to Secondlife game. BaoBei wanted to introduce Li Yi to the game but....somehow I don't think it's a good idea. Li Yi, I prefer that you play with your SIMS rather than SL cos SL is very deadly to play with. Recently, in the straits times on Sunday(I mean last last Sunday), they report and feature about SL gamers. To me, I agree only 50% on the report itself cos the report only reflects the bad image of Secondlife(SL) game. They describe how the game works and there is also an article about how a couple broke up because of SL. The boyfriend played SL game and was addicted so badly that the couple now broke up. The guy met a girl through that game and she was from Korea. He was so serious about his virtual girlfriend that he even flew to Korea just to visit her in RL. Crazy as it might sound but it is a true story. This is what happens when you are too addicted to SL and in some cases, some people merge SL into RL!!! Which leads to psychological unbalances in life.
I started playing that game after my Dad introduce me to the game but he himself wasn't interested in the game much and gave up after playing for 2 days. I, on the other hand had already played the game for more than half a year. I like my current Avatar and the clothes she wears. I admit I was addicted to SL once and my friend Marcus comment in my tag board not to be obsessed into the game. I don't know in the end how I manage to over come that addiction. Probably because in RL, I had a job which already tire me out enough and that plays a part to help me curb the addiction. To be honest, there was a time I almost broke up with BaoBei because of the game itself. That game plays a part in drifting BaoBei and me emotionally apart. Actually, I think not all people agree with me that SL is deadly. Seriously, it's HOW you are going to play that game and whether will you let the game influence your RL to the extend that you aren't yourself anymore. BaoBei cherish the people in SL more than his RL friends(That's what I think). We even quarrel over a stupid bloody L$200(Linden $200, equiventlent to Singapore $2.00). Because I use his account and Avatar to help a friend in SL find her baby. I didn't find it in the end but she still reward me L$200. I gave her the money back and when BaoBei saw it, we had a huge quarrel over it. He says the money in SL are difficult to earn(which seriously it is) but I didn't manage to find her baby so I think I don't deserve the reward. Although I search the whole Kakis Island by myself.
Quarrel with BaoBei's Mum for the very first time in my life. She came into the room when BaoBei went away for camp and scolded me this and that and even accuse me(without proof!!!) that after wearing my clothes, I didn't wash in the washing machine and just dump it into the cupboard and now the cupboard stinks!!!! I HATE BEING ACCUSE OF SOMETHING THAT I DIDN'T DO AND I SAID THIS UPTEEN TIMES!!!!!! After BaoBei came back, he told his youngest aunt about his Mum. Of course as relatives, she surely side his Mum! After that when Ah girl told BaoBei's Mum about what I told BaoBei over the phone, she shout angrily,"I say her is for her own good! Complain to Ah Hao Lah! Impressive is it?!" WHY IS IT THAT EVERYTHING THAT BAOBEI DOES, I AM THE ONE WHO IS BEING SCOLDED AND PUNISHED!? I HATE IT!!!!!!! His Mum even want my Mum's number so that she could call my Mum to scold her. What kinda respect is that?! In the end, BaoBei had a quarrel with his Mum and his Mum said that from today on she won't say anything about me(Ya right man!!! KNS!!!) Skip church for the day and feel very depress. Feel like jumping out of the window to end my life straight but too bad....BaoBei's window had grills -_-"
Feel like slashing my wrist but have no pen-knife. Feel like eating poison but don't know where to buy. The only way I had is to eat overdose sleeping pills(Which I KNOW where to get it). The problem is: Whether or not I dare to take the step of....should I say faith? to die. Cried during my work one day for no reason. I also don't know why I cry for. Before that in my mind, I imagine my friends, BaoBei and my family members especially my Brother surround me. Feel very sad. Don't know what to live for and don't know what else to look forward to.
I think I will end here for now. Will blog again next time.
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