Money Woes + Stupid me!!!!!

I really regret signing up for the Yoga thing. Maybe I didn't really read their contract thoroughly and now I have to face with money problems. It's my own carelessness fault. I can't terminate the contract until 2 years is up. KNS! I can only suspend my membership. But then again, if suspend, I will still have to pay $24+++ per month. BaoBei says he felt that suspend is better than I pay $100+ when I didn't attend any of the classes. The problem is, I do not know, for suspend cases, will it end as according to the date or it will extend the date for me for the termination? I have having a lot of stress. Friday I will work from 8am - 2pm. I will have to go down personally to sign some stupid paper for suspension. If let's say that for suspension, they will suspend until I am ok with it, then BaoBei ask me to suspend all the way if I wanted to, until my membership is due to expire. I felt like terminating soon but I do not know how much will I have to pay in penalty? If it is a few hundred dollars, I don't mind(Not that I am rich or whatever) but you see, my membership is $105+++ per mth. If they allow me to terminate but must pay them a few hundred, is ok cos even if I go for classes, I still must pay hundreds of dollars per mth. The problem is I am afraid that it is a few thousands! One thing is not worth of the money. Second thing is I pay for my stupidity! Haiz....stress....

The other thing is I just realize I lost Li Yi no. -_-" Cos the other day I wanted to SMS her something but end up in the end, the person on my contact list as "Li Yi" SMS me saying that she is "Li Ping"(My pri sch friend) I am very scared and at the same time feel like beating myself up. It's not very private message but still I feel very pai seh! Good lor! Sway lor! Now I lost Li Yi's no. Must wait for her to tag at my tag board again. -_-" Cos the other day BaoBei and me went to this restaurant at Vivocity. The ambiance is very good and the food was superb! Er...the price is of course..very "beautiful" lah(if you know what I mean) it's sort of like buffet style. But then again, apart from the buffet, it serves mainly meat kind of food which I don't know if Li Yi would like it? The chef put directly on your plate!!!

My plate after I ordered beef, mutton, chicken etc

"Carnivore" is the restaurant name. These are the tabs on the table. Red means you don't want anymore food and when the chef sees that, he won't put anymore food on your plate. Green means you still need food and the chef will ask if you want the food to be put on your plate?

This is the first time BaoBei bring me to a Brazilian restaurant to have dinner! Although I have to pay half of the bill, but still I feel very happy and touched that he plan something like this for me out of the blue. It's just that I don't know how to say it to him.

Li Yi, if you want to dine with us at this restaurant, you just have to save about $50 - $100 then next time we will bring you there to eat okay? Ya I know it is not cheap. If you are a meat lover, I can promise you that the food there is really worth the money. I will end here for now. Li Yi, sorry to have lost your number. Maybe you can SMS me or call me with your number again? I am sorry.

Fellowship with CGMs

Wake up at 8.30am today and I realize I was almost late for Sunday service. Luckily I manage to get a seat near the sign language interpreter in the end, thanks to Mike, Anthea, Eric and ZhiHao. After service, we went to Dobhy Gaut for fellowship. Mike left half-way cos he don't like to play board games. Anthea and me went for window shopping. The rest went to minds cafe to play board games.

After window shopping with Anthea, we went back to Minds cafe to watch the others play. Talk a lot of things with ZhiHao and I realize that we have a lot of things in common! Like our previous jobs and the things they do etc. Later I went to watch movie with Dicky. Initally, we thought it's a romance movie but.....the movie is about murderous instead?! The title is "The boys love Mandy". After the movie, Dicky and I discuss about the scenes but most of it I still don't get it. Later Dicky sent me to the bus stop and I board the bus home while Dicky board MRT home. He keep SMSing me all the way to ensure that I reach home safely. Feeling very tired but at the same time, very happy.

Poem for...

Laying on my bed,

memories of you flashes in my mind

Recalling the days of you and me

that evaporates into past memories

What a fool I was!

for loving you unconditionally

How could our love tore apart?

How could our love be so fragile?

Hate myself for loving you so

Ruining my life because of you

The months past me by
The years have gone by
Recalling certain things
which I would have otherwise forgotten
Can't accept that fact that you have gone
Broken pieces by myself I picked

Worlds and worlds apart we are

yet my heart has memories of you
Picking myself up,
and carry on my life without you
5 and a half months of relationship,
9 years of pain
only then I knew....
my love for you was not just a puppy love

Never could I find another guy like you
But we waren't meant to be
The memories and pain with me I take
for that is all that you have left for me

I ain't an ordinary girl

I ain't a girl who greed's for wealth

Ultra possessive I may be,

never will I resort to black magic to gain someone's heart!

What's yours will eventually be

What's isn't however hard you try it will never be

An evil materialistic girl?

Sorry I ain't that kind of person you think!

Regretted gaining the memories
for they stored the ugly side of you!
No longer will I love you
for I have learnt how to hate!
No longer will I wait for you
for I have found someone else

Wishing you all the best,
no matter where you are,
what you do
I will forget you if I could
like how you have forgotten me
Thanks for the love you used to showered on me
Thanks for the times of laughter and joy that you bring
Thanks for the times of my tears for you
Lastly, thanks for all the pain you given onto me
for these, I have learn how to love
for these, I have learn how not to hurt
for these, I have learn faithfulness
for these, I have learn to cherish
for these, I have learn to walk alone
Although I ain't any wiser,
for all my circumstances, a stronger me I have become
I will live my life well
with or without you

To: CNBH(known as CNBW)
Date created: 8 Oct 2008

Money woes + job = Stupid life!!! How I wish I could really die!!!

I didn't go to work yesterday and apply for MC. Cos after drinking with Turtle and the rest, I only sleep for 3 hours. I don't think I am sober enough to work so I went to see Doctor to get MC. KNS! The doctor seems to be very smart. Almost cannot get MC lor! But luckily he gave me 1 day MC. Went out with Esther and Turtle. We keep taking a lot of pictures. When I see some of the pictures of me, I really hate myself to the core!!! I think generally girls will never be satisfied of their looks no matter how good or bad they are.

Went to K-box to sing with them. I only sing a few songs while they sing quite a lot. The air-con there is very cold!!! Lesson learnt: If you are going to Jurong Entertainment centre, make sure to bring at least a jacket along if you are going to stay there for the whole day! Cos the air-condition there is super duper cold!!! Imagine even for my size, I can still feel extremely cold till my teeth keep shivering.

After that we went to eat before watching a movie,"Hua Pi"(Painted skin). Ehhhh...I think I give the movie 3/5 rating. The movie is about a guy who is a warrior in his country. While he went for his war, he saw a beautiful girl(who looks like Vicky Zhao) he saved the girl and bring her back to his country. The girl's look is sooo beautiful that she can instantly captured any guys attention for her. She could have any guy that she want but she fell in love with the warrior who saved her, who is married with a wife(act by Vicky Zhao). Strangely, I cannot tell the difference between the girl and his wife because they both look so alike! But, no one knows a deep dark secret: The girl whom the warrior had saved, is actually a demon. She eats HUMAN HEARTS in order to maintain her beauty(aka her face). The moment she arrive at town, a lot of strange things happen. People began to die one by one in the city and they die in a same way - Their hearts have been dug out. Only the wife of the warrior knows her true identity. But no one believes her.

The warrior had crushes for the girl but he kept his feelings suppress because he has a wife and he is very loyal to her. I admire the warrior cos even though he likes the girl, he never ever once did anything unfaithful to his wife. The demon is not happy and she wanted to be the warrior's only wife. She then fed his wife a drink which turns her into a demon. Before that, his wife made the demon promise to take care of her husband and not to kill anymore humans. After that she was hated by a lot of people and many of her guards were shock that she is the one who eat the human hearts(which is not true). Before the wife died, the warrior said this that make me cry,"No matter you are human or a demon, I will still love you. I am still your husband and you will always be my wife. Whatever you do, we will go through it together" The wife said,"Promise me, live for me, for my sake" then she took the knife to pierce into her abormen and died. The demon watch all these and she is very upset that she didn't manage to win the warrior's heart. In the end, she gave the man her powers to revive all his dead guards and his wife and she fades away into a little white wolf(very cute!!!!!)

After that we went back home. I am worried of how am I going to survive for the next few weeks without money? I have not found another job yet and BaoBei is nagging at me about money problems.