Shopping spee again

Yesterday morning, I woke up at 11am. Ahhh! Late for one hour again?! I then check my hp but no one had called me or SMS me. Strange? I thought Jia Xing ask me to meet her at 10am? I then called her and she said that she has been waiting for my call since the time she woke up. Haiz..kns lor. Don't know how to call me and wake me up is it? I then re-scheduled the time to meet her at 1.30pm and went to get myself ready.

When I reach Tiong Bahru Plaza, I then called to ask where is she. She then told me she is queuing for the tickets and ask me to join her quickly. I then went to withdraw money before joining her. As I was late, the next "earliest" show was at 4pm. I then went to buy the tickets with her and proceed to play ParaPara. While I was playing, there are two girls standing outside of the window and look at me. But the way they look at me, it was as if that they are not happy with me lor. I don't know why. Liew! Wanna fight with me then say lah. Don't need to "diao" me until like that. I then choose the stage I want to play for the next round and stand aside to stare back at them. They then look at me, whisper to each other and one of them then gave me a hard stare before walking off. Jia Xing then ask me to relax myself. I then quickly went to continue my game. While I was playing, Jia Xing who stood behind me said,"Oei..u look around you and see how many people are looking at you". After I complete a stage, I turn around and there are 3 guys who stood outside the window to look at me, and another girl stood beside Jia Xing to look at me. I was thinking in my mind,"Liew! Siam leh!"and continue playing my game. I don't know why but I suddenly feel extremely irritate that day.

After I complete the whole game, I then walk away with Jia Xing and we head to "That CD Shop"and look at CDs. I then bought two classical CDs that cost abt $60 in total. Wah! First time spend such a bomb on classical CDs! But I have no choice cos one of the CDs, is a piano CD that I have been searching for a long time. After my god-brother send me a song of his to me, a song that I have been searching ever since I left my Primary school daze, I try to search for songs under his name and I finally found it. Haha! But quite expensive lah. The music playing in the store was oldies when we entered and Jia Xing comment that she hate the kinda song. As for me I also don't know how to appreciate that kinda song. Too bad.

After that we then went to "Ice Lemon Tea" to buy earrings. Now I know how Jia Xing wear her "strange" earring le! Haha! We then look around the shop and Jia Xing then ask me if I wanted to buy scarf for my black dress I wore the other day? I then ask the sales person which colour will suit black dress? She then recommend me to take either pink or baby blue. After some consideration, I decided to take the pink scarf. We then went to a shop and look at mp3, it was very expensive. Jia Xing then said she will take me somewhere else where it sells cheaper. We then went to watch "I not stupid 2". The movie was quite funny at the beginning but towards the end, it got very sad and I cried non stop. But I have learnt a so-called "meaningful" lesson from the movie.

After the movie, we then went to take a bus to Sim Lim Square. As most of the shops are closed, we then went to those shops which are open and look at the memory capacity of the mp3. At a shop, I almost took out my mastercard to pay for one of the mp3 which cost about $300+++. But Jia Xing keep asking me and use "eye signal" to ask me if I am sure I wanted the mp3 and ask me do I need to look around first before buying? I wanted to say,"No, I have decided to take this one"but she seems to drop me a hint to stop me from buying on impulse. I then look at her for awhile and again she gave me a look that seems to say,"Don't want. Don't buy first. You will surely regret"I then told the salesgirl that I will look around first and she said,"Okay". Jia Xing then quickly left the shop with me. After we went out, she said,"Lucky you never bought the mp3. Cos I tell you, I can help me to get a slightly cheaper price than that you know?"I then thank her for helping me to save my money. Haha. Cos I almost wanted to pay for that mp3 that I was eyeing. Cos the memory capacity was big enough for me to store at least 1000 songs. But seriously speaking, I don't know how to use a mp3 player. I know alot of you will say,"Huh?! You don't know how to use? Sure or not?"Cos I am an idiot to all these things. I then told her I wanted to buy a new discman instead as I don't know how to use a mp3 player. She then told me that mp3 is better as I dun need to change CDs so often and it's very light and easy to carry around. Ya I know..but I duno how to store songs inside -_-"

After that, while we were walking, she then told me things that broken my heart totally. She told me that it is what she felt after much observation(Please..don't go and SMS or ask her about it..just keep it quiet okay?)I then continue the rest of the journey with her keeping very quiet and thinking about alot of things. My heart was in pain...like a knife stab though it. I wanted to cry my heart out. I really wanted to cry after what she have said. But I couldn't. I could only "endure" the pain in my heart. I could only think,"Why am I such a fool"? Even though I know in the end I am the one who will receives the hurt most, why am I still doing things that I know will eventually caused myself to be hurt? I really don't know. I seriously don't know. Guys, tell me honestly, am I a fool? Am I stupid? Am I an idiot? It's okay. Just tell me straight. I want to know the TRUTH. If you think I am, just say it. I can understand and I will accept whatever you say. Cos I am now too blind to see what is happening around me. I don't know what is going on. Tell me! Just tell me! If I am really a fool/stupid/idiot, in what ways am I like that? What did I do to make you think I am like that? Tell me! Tell me! I wanted to know!

We then went to S-11 coffeeshop to have supper and Jia Xing could obviously sees that I am very unhappy. She then ask me,"What's wrong? Still thinking about the things that I told you just now?" I then nod and stare blankly. My mind and heart was not with the surroundings. I was thinking alot of things. She then receives a phone call asking her to go back home. I then told her to go back if she wants and I will go home myself. She said,"Are you sure? Are you okay now? You wanna go drinking to ease your pain?" I then shake my head and told her I am okay and will go back home. We then part ways and I walk around aimlessly to a bus stop and board 147. On the way, I keep thinking of what she had said to me and thinking alot of things. Why didn't I spot the signs? Why didn't I notice the changes? Why am I so stupid?! Why am I such a fool to what is happening around me? Why am I always the last to know whenever something happens? Why? Why? Why?

On the way home, I finally cried. It's really only a small matter. But why does it hurts me so much? Why? I really don't know? Am I too sensitive? Is it really my fault after all? I do not know now. I really don't know...I guess I have to end here. No mood to continue typing..sorry guys. Take care and enjoy your day! Please don't go and ask Jia Xing anything about this! Please! Just read it and forget it. Don't ask her anything. Okay?

Reunion Dinner

Yesterday evening, I went to my 1st uncle's place for reunion dinner. My family was the first to reach there and we then greet our elders inside. At around 8pm, the rest of the family members then appeared. Haiz..maybe it has been too long since I last get together with my cousins, so there is nothing in common for us to talk about. My 3rd aunti then ask,"Eh? Ah fen? Where's your boyfriend? Never bring him for visiting again?" I was then very blur cos since it has been a long time and I had change bfs too often, I do not know which boyfriend she is talking about. Erm..I am not really a flirt lah ok? Or someone that is unfaithful. For those who know me inside-out, you will know that it is usually the guys who broke up with me instead of the other way round. Cos no matter what, I could not say the word,"Let's break up"from my mouth. I really don't know why. Although it's just "say only mah" word. But seriously speaking, I have difficulty speaking this word out even I wanted a break up. If I really think the the relationship didn't go anywhere or that he has been two-timing behind me(which I have ex-bfs who did that)I will try all means and ways to get him to say the word out to me, since I have difficulty saying the word.

I then replied her,"No lah ah kim(I address all my aunti's from my Mum's side as this), I don't have any boyfriend" She was surprise and said,"Huh? Ah fen don't have any bf?! Surprise leh! Cannot be lah. You are lying right?" I told her that I seriously don't have any bf and I don't want anymore bf as I think I am a person who don't know how to love someone and anyway, I am the one who tend to receive the hurt most.

After the reunion dinner, my 1st uncle then ask me,"Wah ah fen! You go pubs/discos?!"I then look at him with my eyes wide and my 3rd uncle's younger son then look at me(He is older than me by 3 years i think). I don't quite like his current hairstyle. Yes, he is the most handsome guy in our family but I am really not used to his hairstyle. If I were to see him on the streets, I seriously cannot recongise it is him. I then told my 1st uncle that I only go with friend's company. As my uncle is a very strict person, he warn me the dangers of those kinda places and he forbid me to go even if I am with female friends. My cousin then look at me and said,"Wah fen! You are more hiong than me! I see you look so "quai" but yet you go chiong. But I don't like those kinda place. The music are so noisy and the crowds there are very complicated".

All my uncles, 1st to 4th(my mum is the youngest), then ask my Mum why did she allow me to go that kinda place? She said that she could not really control me as I am a very rebelious person but at the same time, my mind is very naive and way-too-simple-minded. That is the only thing she worries the most, for me being simple-minded and too trustful of people. She could only advise me on what she has experience in her life and what she has seen/heard before and what I must do and not what to do in whatever situation. It is my life that I have to lead anyway and she could not do anything to control me. My uncles then look at me and my 3rd uncle then shook his head at me. My 4th uncle then ask me to be very careful of the friends I mix with and he is very worried that since I go to those places often, I might have taken drugs. But I assured him that I don't take drugs and only went there for drinking. But he is also worried that my drinks have been spike or whatever and he ask me to take care of myself and especially my drinks - don't ever leave them unattended in pubs/clubbings. I once leave my drink unattended when I go Planet Paragram before with Elzy and Nor but nothing happen.

After that we then went back home by my 2nd cousin's car and I went to sleep aftet that. Quite a tiring day for me.

Soccer playing

This morning, I wake up at 6am to get myself ready for the soccer training. Actually I only slept for 3 hours cos I dare not sleep for too long. I have to force myself to wake up to meet my god-brother. Cos after I had learnt a lesson, I dare not sleep too much when I meet people in the morning. Erm...only that person will know why I started doing this(You should know who you are) Cos after a incident happen, I leave a scar on myself and that scar will remind me not to break my promises to anyone ever again. It may sound silly to most of you but at least I have learnt my lesson in a painful way.

I then went to meet him and he teaches me some tactic of kicking the soccer ball. Now then I know why I always kick the ball sideways...haiz. He actually don't want to meet me as I was having a high fever the night before. But I assure him that I am okay and could play soccer. Firstly, he teaches me how my leg should be position and how to kick the ball in short distances/passes. He then told me he demanded three things in me. Firstly, he need me to be aggressive in soccer. Secondly, he need my determination. Which means I cannot give up half way thoughout the game or whatsoever(but I am a person who gave up easily) and lastly, I think it's team-work(I could not remember for the last part). After the game, I suddenly felt breathless. I could not breathe though my nose and I have to breathe though my mouth. He got slightly worried and ask if I am okay.

After that, I went to buy two bottles of mineral water. Haiz...First time drink three bottles of water in a day. Cos usually I only drink either 1-and-a-half or two bottles a day. So if anyone were to open my bag to dig my things out, they will usually find two regular bottles of mineral waters. After that, he teaches me how to dribble the ball and how to receive the ball from short distance passing.

After that he showed me how long distance passing look like. Wah! Very difficult! But he said he won't be teaching me on that until I have master the very basic skills of kicking. We then had a rest on a branch nearby and he ask what I have learnt today. I could not really remember as I have poor memory. But I have remembered certain things on soccer.

He then gave me a ball that is in good condition. He actually brought two soccer balls and one of it, the soccer ball colour and texture is fading. I prefer to take the fading one as I do not play soccer quite often as he did. The force and impact that he kick on the ball, was very hard. But strangely enough, the ball did not burst. Cos I used to have a ex-boyfriend, who is a street soccer player, there was a time he kick the ball, the ball burst and I do not know how much force he has use on the ball. I am very curious how does such things happen? But I guess no one could answer me.

After the game, he head home while I went to the shopping centre nearby for a walk. I keep getting stares from people as I was holding the soccer ball on my right hand. I then went to Sambawang Music Centre to buy a music CD and then went to window shop around. After that I went to the arcade to play some games before heading to Giodanio. I then try on a spaghetti strap shirt and when I look into the mirror, I really hate the outcome. Feel like using a stone to smash the mirror. Why? Cos I look very very ugly in spaghetti shirt. I then change back into my T-shirt and went home to get ready to meet my relatives for reunion dinner.

Shopping spee..hahaha

Today I left home early to went to shopping at Harbour Front. I bought a new sports shoes and a new bag. I don't quite like the bag after I had bought it. Or maybe it's that I am too used to sling/shoulder bags and now that I am carrying harversack, I don't feel comfortable. When I wear the sports shoes, I then realize something. My right feet is smaller than my left feet. How come like that? Haiz...

I actually wanted to bought another pair of shoes that cost $100+(before discount)but I check the base of the shoes, I felt that the friction is not so good and I may slip if I were to walk on rainy days.(Me very picky hor?)I then bought a sports shoes at a cheaper price and I feel that the base of the shoes is good for rainy days. I am planning to wear that when I played soccer. Oh talking about soccer, I saw a soccer shoes that cost $70+ and it is the kind I wanted. But then again, I hardly play soccer and I do not have a soccer ball at home. So I did not buy the soccer shoes.

I then went to work after that. Before lunchtime, I suddenly felt unwell and I felt freezing cold. Strange? How come the air-con on so cold today? I then complain to my colleagues that I felt very cold. Esther then ask how cold am I? For those who work at Macdonald's or KFC before, for Macdonald's, you know how cold is it when you go into the freezer right?(Not chiller), try staying in the freezer for about 1 or 2 minutes and that is how cold I felt thoughout the day. For KFC, try staying in the storage room where they keep the chickens for about 2 minutes and that is also how cold I felt.

After that, Esther and Wendy ask if I am okay and Wendy insist me to go home. I then ask Esther to feel my forehead and ask if I am having a fever? She said,"Yes. Slightly" and Wendy call Peter to inform him I am sick and ask me to punch out. My colleagues then said that my face look very pale and ask me to go and visit the doctor.

After that I bid them goodbye and bid Ya Cin Bon Vogage. Wendy then said,"See? People treat you so good and you still shout at her". Ya Cin then said,"Ai ya...forget it le lah.." I duno what she meant by that...hopefully she has forgiven me le. I then sign off and went to a clinic near Holland Village. Initally I couldn't find any 24-hr clinic and ask my god-brother for help. After I found it, I went in and see the doctor and told him of my condition and he gave me a day MC. My tempreture was 38.9 degrees. I think. Or 39.8 I forgot le. It is either one.

I then walk all the way home and strangly, I felt very hot under my feet instead on my forehead. So strange right? The more I walk, the more heatier my feet got. Maybe it's that I am wearing shoes. When I reach home, I quickly take a cold shower and eat my medication. After that I am typing this blog now. Haiz..so xing(1) ku(3). But I hope that I can get well tomorrow so that I could play soccer and go for reunion dinner at my cousin's place.

I think I shall end here. Take good care folks...and wishing all of you a Prosperous New Year ahead!

soccer dreams

Yesterday night, I dreamt of something very funny...I dreamt that I was at a basketball court, with a group of chinese guys whom I don't know who they were. I saw myself wearing a white jersey with white shorts(I look very ugly in it). A guy then brief us on our positions and I was quite blur with that. Cos I don't know what are positions. I only know that the guy put me in the middle of the court.

When the game started, the boys played quite roughly. I thought this was suppose to be a friendly match as what the guy said?! I hate being push and shoved around. But too bad..soccer is played like that. The more the opposite team push me, the more anger I got. But during the 1st round, I didn't score any goals. While I was dribbling towards opponent's count, a guy then snatch the ball away from me by attacking my right ankle. In my dreams, it hurts alot and I stared at him. He then dribbled the ball away from me and scored a goal to my team. Argh! Stupid sial! Right after that, a guy then whistle and signal a "T" sign with his hands. I then followed my so-called "Team" to the void deck below to rest. I then ask one of my team mate to buy a cold bottle of Ice Mountain drink for me. He then went away. The "leader" was very disappointed with the score..as it was 1 - 0. I then stared at the guy who kicked my ankle and he look away from me. The "leader" then ask us to give our best and ask us to kick more harder for the second round. He then came over to me and point at the goal post to me and explain to me that for the 2nd round, our goals will be switch and he ask me not to kick to the right anymore as that will be our own goal. I then nod to him and stared at the boy again. In my mind I was thinking,"You kick my ankle right? Later I'll have my revange!"

I then saw my god-brother standing at the grill gate and look at the court. When he saw me, he gave me a smile and shout,"Mei! Jia You!"I was very surprise and think,"Why was he doing there"? I then felt very scared and don't dare to kick. Cos I know I don't kick very well. After that a guy signal for the game to start and I went into the court, giving my god brother a glance before settling down in my position. I then stared at the boy and he have this fear in him(cos he is very small size). When the game start again, I saw myself playing quite roughly than the first game. I then dribbling though a few opponent and pass the ball to a team mate of my group and I followed his steps as he dribbled the ball. When we were about to reach the goal, my team mate then kick the ball to me and I kick the ball into the goal post(actually not really goal post lah..cos we use shoes as goal post marking). After I scored I then shout "Yeh!" crazily(cos I never scored any goals before..except 1 when I was very young) and the guy look at me with an expression that I couldn't read. It was then 1 - 1. I then look towards my god-brother and he was laughing like crazy. Or maybe I kick wrongly?

After that, I woke up le. Haiz..so that's how I kick in my dreams? How disappointed...I then changed and get ready for work. Maybe I am not suitable to play soccer after all...

Bothering

Life is usual at work today. I guess I have to get used to working alone from now on. Esther will be going back to school and left me, Wendy and Ya Cin. And sadly, I don't quite get along with them nowadays. We never talk anymore - which is the main reason why I am thinking of switching jobs.

Jia Xing then came and visit the shop later in the evening and I ask her to check out the price of a thing I had my eyes on. She then came back later to tell me the price of it and it shock me. I said,"So expensive?!"Jia Xing then suggest if I really wanted the same product at a cheaper price maybe I could try to check it out at Queensway Shopping Centre(Those who know what I am eyeing for, please keep it to yourself. Don't tag at my tagboard abt it too please. Thanks!). Esther then comment,"That brand is so popular..sure is expensive ne"

She then left and I continue working. After work, I then called Brother Tony to clarify of some things. I admired the way he spoke to me to help me to clarify my doubts. I used to be very afraid of Brother Tony. I am very scared to talk about things to him. Maybe because of his authority. But after speaking to him, I felt much better - like a heavy stone that has been lifted from my heart.

I then went back home as I thought the soccer match that Man United VS Liverpool was on channel 5 but my god-brother told me it was on SCV -_-"

I then watch TV. In a Taiwan entertainment show, there are 5 girls who join the "Guess(x3)". 4 of them are playing sports and only one girl who do not play any sports. The judges must guess which is the one girl that do not know how to play sports. The contestant number 1 claims that she knows how to play soccer. She is indeed a gold metal soccer player in Taiwan in her school. When I saw the way she kick the ball, I felt very ashamed of myself. Cos I cannot remember any tactic of kicking the ball after I stop playing soccer for 9 years. But I was very surprise that she is those kind of feminine girl. Cos Jacky Wu said that normally girls who knows how to play soccer are more to either the rough or tough side. I then regret that I never joined the soccer club in my secondary school when I was in Sec.4 cos the club was formed only when I was in mid-year in Sec.4 and I don't want to join cos I am already in the uniform group which the practise takes place at Saturday. The soccer club also start their CCA at Saturday and the timing clashes with my CCA at the time so I did not sign up for it.

Maybe I have to start all over again from stretch. I forgot what was the main reason I quit playing soccer. I only know I have stop playing because most of the team members have moved away and the number of players are getting lesser and lesser. The girl on TV knows how to kick basic steps..but I don't even know -_-" Or maybe I forgot how to kick le. Haiz...so pai seh. No face to see my god-brother le!

I think I will end here for now...Pai seh till duno what...haiz...must use paper bag to cover my face...Night Folks!

5 things abt myself

Post 5 weird or random facts about yourself, then at the end list the names of 5 people who are next in line to do this. Don't forget to leave a comment that says"You are tagged" in their blog and tell them to read yours. Here are the 5 things:

1) I am a person who has a very strange mood swings, I can be happy one moment and out of the sudden, become very down(brust out crying) or angry the next moment. Or become very quiet and stop talking to u the next moment

2) When I am really very angry or upset about something/someone, the only way for me to cool down is to punch glasses/metal things...I dun care if my hand bleeds from it. When I am angry, I dun have any feeling of hurt until I've cooled down.

3)Likes singing and listening to music alot. There are times where you will hear me singing softly to myself

4)I am a ultra-straight forward person and say things without thinking twice and thus I tend to hurt alot of people this way. I also prefer people to be straight forward to me and dun hide things from me...cos if i found out, I will be very upset abt it

5)I am very attracted to people who knows how to play piano since my childhood daze. I will stood there and listen to them playing until they stop(If I have the free time)but I do not know how to play a single note from it..haha

Chiong!

Yesterday after work, I went to talk to Nor as usual. She then comment to me that she will be going to Planet Paradigm with her friend. I then said to her,"Wah! Go chiong never call me!"She then said,"You want or not? If you want you also can join ah"I then said that I must go back and change as I am in my T-shirt and Jeans. She said,"Okay. After you are ready then you give me a call on my hp". I then went back and take a quick shower and change into the outfit that I think it's suitable for clubbing. I then went to the the MRT to meet her.

When I reach Dhoby Gaut MRT, I called her and she said she is on her way. When she saw me, her first reaction was,"Wah! So pretty ah!"I then said,"No ah..I know why you say like that lah..cos you never seen me wearing skirt before right"? She said,"Ya". We then went to 7-11 store and Nor(My friend)bought a can of beer and sat down somewhere to chat for awhile. She then introduce her friend, Elzy, to me. I find Elzy quite cool! She's the kind of girl I always wanted to be. Cool, sporty and dare to voice out her own opinion. We then chat until 1 am in the morning and we then went in to Planet Paradigm. The music playing that time was R&B and I don't really know how to appreciate that kinda music.

Nor then ordered drinks and ask what I want? I then tell her to order soft drinks for me. She said,"Eh! Don't like that lah! Give me face lah! Come, come, drink drink drink". Elzy then give her the -_-" look. After that, Nor ask us to drink our drinks at one go. After I drink, I felt a little tipsy cos I dun know how to handle alcoholic drinks very well. She then ordered one glass after another and in total, I had 4 to 5 glasses of different types of Volka together. Elzy then said,"Oei Nor! Dun bully her lah! She cannot already!"Elzy then let me sit on a chair and I just watch the people dancing. A bartender there then ask for my number. He's quite cute. He look like Chinese but he told me he's Malay mix. If I remembered correctly, his name is Yen. He then talk to me as I was sitting alone while Elzy and Nor went to dance.

After that I then suggest to go MOS(Ministry of Sound)cos I have never seen the place before but I heard that it was good. They initially wanted to go Devil's Bar but followed me to explore the place for awhile. When we reach there, Elzy said she like the place a lot as the dance floor is quite big. Nor keep saying she wanted to go to the R&B section while I wanted to go to the techno section. I then reluctantly gave in and went to the R&B section with them. While I was dancing with Elzy, Nor then said she go out for smoke. Then left us to dance. While Elzy and I were dancing, there is 2 African guys dance quite near to us and we felt very uncomfortable. Elzy then whisper to me,"Eh..u smell something very smelly or not"? I then nod to her and smile. I then whisper back,"Eh you wanna move to the other side? I dun like them to dance near me". She then whisper back,"You bet!"Then we move to another side of the dance floor and the guys get the message. But..it was a wrong move!

After we move to the other dance floor, at 1st 2 guys, I think is white Indian, dance around us. Elzy then gave them the annoyed look but dance anyway. After we dance for quite sometime, the twin brother of one of the guys then joined in and dance around us. I then stop dancing and look for Nor. I then saw her laughing with 3 other guys outside of the dance floor. I then went to Nor and said,"Oei! I think your friend is in trouble. There are many guys surrounding her!"She then said,"What?!" and her expression, I couldn't read was she worried or angry. By the time I informed her, 8 guys were surrounding Elzy. She then went into the crowd and drag a chinese girl hand to dance with Elzy. She then came back and said,"There! She's safe"I then saw Elzy dance with the chinese girl happily.

Nor then introduce the guys to me. She shout at me,"They are my boyfriend's brothers! Aku mati already lah!"I then look at her with big eyes cos she told me her bf dun allow her to club and that day she went clubbing without her bf's permission. She then continue to chat with the guys while I look at Elzy. A girl then caught my eye with her dressing. She wear a white blouse the tied the ends near to her chest and she was wearing a ultra tight and ultra short jeans shorts with white boots. I envied of her body cos she is very slim, very pretty and most of all, very sexy.

We then went to the ladies' together and the ladies' surprise me! It was decorated very beautifully! After that we then walk around aimlessly cos we lost our way and don't know how to go back to the R&B section initially. While we walk past a couple of Caucasian guys, one of them then grab me by my whist and said,"Hey Babe! You're pretty!"I was thinking,"Is that an insult Sir?"but I smiled at him and said,"Thank you". I tried to go but he is still holding my whist and said,"Hey babe, going off so soon?"and his friend said,"Ya..how about joining us for a drink what do ya say?"I rejected and in my mind I was thinking,"Nor! Help me!"She then came out of nowhere and took my right hand and said to the guy,"Sorry Sir, but she's taken". While I was being drag away, I heard the guy said,"Hey! But she's mine!"I then took Nor's hand and run away with her. She then said,"Oei! U dun anyhow walk here and there can or not? This place is not safe!"I know exactly what she means.

We then stayed for awhile and head to Devil's Bar after that. At least the guys there are okay. When we reach there, we then went in to dance. Elzy then ask me to stay put and don't move about. A while later, a fight broke out just infront of me. I was shock and I was thinking, if I didn't listen to Elzy and move a few steps, I might have been hurt. Cos someone was fighting and Beer bottles being smashed and there are shoutings from both sides. I then saw a petite girl drag a guy away. The guy was still shouting in vagularties while he was being drag away and I saw another guy bleeding from his head and the bouncers had to drag him away.

After that, the dancing resumes and I saw 4 pretty looking girls dancing. I really thought that they are girls cos from the outlook, they are really very slim and pretty. But when they spoke(in thailand), their voices give them away that they are transexuals. I was surprise and Elzy laugh. Nor was dancing with one of the transexuals and I was jealous. Cos they are more slimmer than me!

After that we left the club at 6am and went to Lau Ba Sat to have our breakfast. I send Elzy back home and went home at 8.30am to catch a very short sleep before I start work

Shut up!!!!

Today at work, After Peter had analyze something to me, I apologise to Ya Cin but she doesn't seems to accept my apologies. Okay fine. I just leave things as it is.

After work, I then went to talk to my friend who works at the ice-cream shop. She pour out her problems with her boyfriend to me. She is the kinda person that can talk to you for non-stop about anything. I guess she just need a listening ear and I am there for her. After I heard the problems she has gone though with her boyfriend, she then ask me,"Eh, when are you gonna get married? At what age you think you wanna marry?"I look at her and said,"Kaka(Big sister in Malay), if you ask me this question 10 years ago, I would have replied you 24. But if you ask me now, I tell you, I am not gonna get married!"She was surprise by my answer and ask me why. I then told her marriages scares me to the core now. She then said,"Then don't tell me you are going to be single for the rest of your life?"I told her,"Ya. Cos nowadays, I don't trust guys anymore. I've been hurt too deep and too much. I've seen the best and worst marriages/relationships in my life and I had decided enough is enough. I cannot withstand anymore hurts in my life anymore". She then give me a surprise look and said,"You may think this way now. But I tell you, you'll think differently once you hit 30 years old". I then look at her and thought to myself,"What do you mean by that?!"

After that she shared with me about her life and I was totally shock about what she had gone though! I do not know that behind her happy-go-lucky face, lies something that I find it hard to believe. Now standing in front of me is a girl who faces more harshes of life than me but yet she could still be so strong! I felt very sorry of how her current boyfriend has treated her and I advise her to leave her boyfriend but she said something,"I Love him too much to let him go". I guess, when a girl really falls in love with a guy, he is everything to her and sometimes, we were so blinded by love that we lost our sense of logic. I understand her feeling. Really. I know why she doesn't wanna leave him. She then said to me,"I see 1st lah...if one day, I really can pretend that everything is okay, if I can really take nothing has ever happen and leave him, then I'll leave lah. But till then, I am still in love with him". I then sigh at her and wish her the best of luck. She told me that if one day, she really save enough money, she'll mirgrate but right now she don't know which country she wanna mirgrate to.

After that I bid her goodbye and thinking alot of things on my way home. I then remembered after reading a verse in the Bible, I have the feeling that the end of the world is very near. It's in Matt 24:7 and Matt 24:38-39. But the verse in Matt 24:38-39 reminds me of the Tsunami. Cos it said,"(V.38 NIV)For in the days before the flood, people were eating and drinking, marrying and giving in marriage, up to the day Noah entered the ark;(V.39) and they knew nothing about what happen until the flood came and took them all away. That is how it will be at the coming of the Son of Man." Read verse 39 and you will know why I said it reminds me of the Tsunami. If what happens for the Tsunami is really God's will, cos it is stated in the Bible, then I have a feeling God will be coming down to earth to judge the living and the Dead soon. But I just don't know when.

Adrian then log in online to chat with me things that really annoy me. I really don't know how to tell him off. I just treat him as a friend but I really don't know why he don't seems to get what I mean?! Father! Tell me what should I do to let him to get my message across CLEARLY?! Because of him, I've been in great stress. But too bad, I don't have a punch bag at home for me to vent my anger on. *Len jing...chai quai!*

I think I shall end here for now....will blog again next time!

Testing

From the day I first saw you,
I knew in my heart that you are the one.
I was memerise by the way you look at me.
I love your smile, your laughter,
the way you make me feel.

I wanted to make you mine.
I wanted very much to hold your tender hands
You make my heart melts in everything that you do.

I would like to let you know,
How much I love you.
I would like to be by your side
in every waking hour.

I would give up anything for you
even it's my life, I wouldn't mind.
Just to prove my love for you
An everlasting Love is all I have,
to tell you how much I love you...

Links

I just went though the links of blogs from Vincent and Yu Zhi and I have notice something: Some of the friends blogs have my links! Wah! I wonder how many people have viewed my blog already? I never went to click one by one lah to see whether they add me into their blog or not lah. I just click on those names that I find it familiar. Like e.g Yu Zhi aka Samuel, Yue Ming, Ming Ying and I just found out Peng Yee also link me to his blog! *Surprise*

Haiz..If I were to add the rest of them into my links, I need quite alot of space for the links cos I may have to link quite alot of people(especially those who already link me to their blog). But like I said in my very first January 2005 blog, this blog is Sheryln create for me de. Cos I don't know how to create blogs and ask her for her help. But the friend's list space she only create a few for me so I have limited space to add friend's blog. Erm...those I have not written in my blog links, sorry. I only have limited space and cannot link all. But I try to discuss with Sheryln again to see how and I may need her help to help me add more link space in my blog.

I just read my god-brother's blog and he mention that I seems to be interested in his bag. Haha! I snatch his bag because he used to snatch my bag before and carry it for me and I told him that I have never carried his bag before. The other day in church, I finally manage to snatch his bag when he is not aware and carry it for him. Haha! Finally get to carry his sling bag! Cos he used to carry my bag before and I never get the chance to carry his bag. *Yi ya huan ya*

Haiz..the other time the poem I compose, my god-brother actually made a song for it! *Pengs* Erm..I know he ask you all to ask me about the poem that he created a song for it. But...it is for me to know and for you all to find out. Hahaha! Me very bad hor? Erm..actually I get the poem inspiration from him. The other time we chat over msn, he ask why I haven't update my blog for a long time and I told him I have nothing to write. He then ask me to write poems or whatever in my blog. I used to create poems before for my first love, who has since left me for another girl a long time ago. I remembered the very first poem I created for him, he said that it is very mushy. I never keep that poem and throw away into the bin the day he left me. From then on, I have never created anymore poems. Even if I had, I will create, read tough it once and throw it in the bin. That is how I get to connected with a small god-sister of mine. We used to be in the girl guides in our secondary school daze. I remembered the first time I saw her, I don't like her alot. She is in the Normal(A) stream while I am in the Normal(T) stream. And because the leaders put me to be in charge for her, her name is Kristy. I have no choice but to guide her. She used to defiant all my commands for her to march. Cos I think during that time she also dun quite like me.

There was one time when we were giving a 20 minutes long break, I went to take out a piece of paper and write a poem and again throw it in the bin. I never notice she was behind me looking at my poem all along. In school, she is a poem queen - that's what I called her. Cos she knows how to create poems very well. She then muttered behind me,"Why waste a very good poem that you've created?" I was startled by her cos I didn't know she was behind me. From then on, because of poems, we were so close that almost all the teachers mistook us as sisters. But we slowly lost contact after I graduate from school and that she is learning french language now! I used to receive her letters though my younger brother who is still in school that time and she used to write her greetings in french that I duno how to read. I wonder how is she doing right now? I heard that she is planning to mirgrate to france while I used to tell her if I have the chance, I will also mirgrate to England. But I need to polish up my English first before I can mirgrate there. But folks, it is only a dream of mine. It won't come true. Don't worry. My aunti who is living in England, told me that the "Zhi(4) an(1)"there is no good. So I may have to think trice about it.

Erm...if you are wondering how come I get the poem inspirition from him, read the 1st few lines of the poem(of the song he is going to create) and maybe you will get a rough idea of why the poem is created. I think only my god-brother knows why. I get the inspiriation while talking to him though the phone and after we hang up, I was thinking of alot of things and somehow this kinda poem struck me. Hmm..haven't create poems for 6 years and this is considered the first time I have create poems again. As for Love poems, I think I may need alot of time to get inspirations on how to create.

I think that is all for now. Sorry for the "Bo liao" blogging. Bye and enjoy your day!

Poetry

As the blood flows from my wrist,
the pain I've endured is no longer there.

With a knife, and a cut
is all I need to leave this cruel world

My heart beat is getting slower

My blood is flowing non-stop

My eyes are getting heavier

My breath is getting more infequent

With my blood keeps flowing on and on,

With my heart beat getting slower,

I am feeling tired...too tired to continue living on

I'm tired of continue living
too tired to continue living in this cruel world
Goodbye my love, I'm sorry that I've to leave you now.
With my eyes shut, I'm going off
I'm going to a place, far far away
To a place where there is no pain

Wow!

Yesterday afternoon, I was late for my Bible study class. When I reach Expo, HuiYi then told me the reason and need to be punctual. I feel very embarrass cos she has come quite earlier than me just to give me Bible study.

I was very amazed by the way she preach the word to me. Her words are very powerful and I've learnt something though the Bible study even though I am only in the first lesson! I really can't wait to attend the second lesson! *Praying for next Saturday to come quickly*. After that we then proceed to attend the service.

I don't know at which part of the sermon, I thought I saw my god-brother crying but I do not know what is he crying for? It was the first time I saw him crying. I then offer to give him a pack of tissue paper and pat his back. He then help me with the verses that the pastor preach cos the words are too small and I cannot read with my eyes. I think my eyesight is getting poorer.

After the service, we then went to buy food and after I have finish eating, I went to walk around hoping that the surroundings could cool me down. But the more I walk, the more upset I get. I then went back and ask my god-brother if he wants to meet Jia Xing with me but he ask me to give him another five more minutes. I then put my bag at a corner and went to the end of the hall and sat down at the ledge and thinking alot of things while singing. I then told my god-brother that if he is ready, he can give me a miss call as my message tone was spoilt that time. I ask him not to call me from my back or I may fall from the ledge. But luckily there was a staircase landing below me so I guess even I fall it was not hurt much. Unless my head lands first...then it's another story. He then give me a miss call and I have difficulty trying to get down from the ledge cos the wires below my feet are very soft and I dare not step too hard on it cos I'm afraid it may snap. When I have finally get down, I then walk towards my cell group and bid them goodbye and leave with him.

We then meet Jia Xing at our usual huant and chat with her alot of things for awhile before she ask me to accompany her to the ladies'. After that, we then went to a cafe to have our dinner. I was quite disappointed with their service and the choices of food they have on the menu. We have very limited choice for both the food and drinks. After we place our orders, we then dig in our foods and both Jia Xing and my god-brother comment that I am eating very slow. Did I? I don't know. The other time, small Jonathan also comment that I eat quite slow. Yeh! Finally eat very slow le! *Siao* Cos i used to finish my food within 5 minutes and gradually, I began to finish my food within 3 minutes. My god-brother then "train" me to eat my food at a slower pace and from that day on, the fastest time I finish my food was 10 minutes and the slowest time I ever finish my food was 20 minutes. There was a time HuiJia challange me to finish my food within 60 seconds but I told her it is mission impossible. Unless I have the kind of speed that can finish my food within that time.

We then send Jia Xing home and waited at the bus stop for the Night Rider(NR) service. My god-brother initally want to send me but I reject his offer as I also want him to get home. He said he is very worried as I go home alone at night. Haiz..I've been going home at night mah! I understand his concern and I told him I will give him a call once I reach home. He then allow me to board the bus and I gave him a miss call when I am home and he called to check if I am safe before he went to sleep.

Rain, rain go away...

It has been raining for the past week and the weather is getting colder and colder. Yesterday I heard Ya Cin said that it is the first time in Singapore that keeps on raining and raining non-stop and I have been wearing jacket to work almost everyday.

Before I start work, I felt headache and cold. I then went to buy the medical oil and apply it on the side of my head before reporting for work. We then chat about alot of things at work and Ya Cin and Esther keep on complaining that they were bored as there are not much customers today. Probably due to the raining season. After Esther left, I suddenly felt slightly feverish but I tried to ignore the problem. Cos I did not sleep at all the day before cos the weather was too cold at night that I couldn't sleep.

When I reach home, I chat online with my god-brother for awhile before I went to sleep. This morning when I woke up, my fever has gone but I felt very cold. My god-brother then send his regards to me via SMS. I then told him that my fever has gone and he seems quite happy about it and praise God for it. I was thinking maybe he prayed for me yesterday night or something that is why I am okay now.

I guess I have to end here for now. Sorry for the short blogging guys..cos nothing to write these days. Don't know what to write. Nothing happening in my life..haha. Below is a poem I've create while thinking of my problems in life:

Seeing you crying infront of me

telling me you're sorry.

Sorry for the hurt that you've caused

that hurt me so deeply.

I tried to reach out for you.

I tried to reach out for your hand.

To tell you that everything is okay

and that I've never ever blamed you.

But when I tried to reach out for you,

to hold you in my arms,

In a second, you're gone.

Leaving me with a pain in my heart

Tell me how you find this poem? Meaningless or what? Let me know? Thanks alot!