Last day at Daiso?(Very Long long paragraph..can don't read if you don't have time)

Went to work for the last time this morning. Work was super slack despite that a lot of stocks are coming in. After I had finish my station of work, I then went to "help" my close colleagues and hang around with them at work. When it was lunch time, we eat together with Wei Ting and her friend. While eating, her friend(whose name I cannot remember)suddenly comment,"Say me right?!" when the 3 close colleagues of mine and me were discussing about Horoscope. It happened that she was a Virgo! Cos when we talk about Virgo sign, I told my colleagues that I notice that Virgos tend to be very clean freak and they are well-known for their perfection. They are also very detail-oriented.(This is not only according by the Horoscope book itself. I have personally interacted with people by this kind of horoscope so I roughly know their characteristic). But of course horoscope alone does not accurately read a person's character, because there are cases of split/multiple personalities(I am unluckily fall under the split personality category)because of the different timing for the moon and sun thingy(which is difficult to explain here. Those who study more about horoscopes in detail will roughly know what I mean). WeiTing is a Leo(no wonder she's always so "Dao").

After Lunch, when we went back for work, we were told that we have to work one more week. I had already call a F&B outlet to arrange for interview on Monday so there is no way I am going to work on that day. To me, the extension of another week makes no difference for me as I still have to look for another job after the 1 week. While for the rest of the temp staffs who are mostly students, that one week means at least they have something to occupied for that one week before their school starts. I then told my colleagues I am definitely not going back to work on Monday as I have an interview on that day. It's a F&B line but the best part is, it's a 5-day work week. I just leave everything in God's hands. If the job is really for me, He will answer my prayers. If not, I just have to look for another job. I am trying to get into F&B line with 5 days work week as I am interested in that field. Please don't offer me anymore admin jobs cos I used to study that field but after working in real-life office environment, I find that Admin is not suitable for me after all. I have great interest in food but too bad I just don't have the chance to explore that area much. I wonder does ITE have F&B courses?(Not Hotel Management!). I am searching for job urgently is because I wish to stay at least 5 years in the job and hopefully I can work in a job that I really enjoy doing. Another reason is I feel that time is really running out for me. Although I am only 22, but in a year's time, I will be 23, after a few more years, I may be 25 or 26. I wish to stay long in a job that I enjoy doing and I am really tired of job hunting(cos of my low qualifications, companies will tend to be picky)

I had seriously consider taking up 2 jobs ever since I left MOM, Cos I know I cannot survive with one income alone. Although my family doesn't really need me to support but still, certain burdens are there and I stress myself out because of it. My Parents will only complain that I earn too little for them. With only GCE 'N' level and basic ITE cert, how far can I go? When I suggest to take up another job, which only means I had to sacrifice a lot of sleeping time. I had calculated that I only had 3 hours of free-time if I hold two jobs. But the income I earn will be $1600 per month(after deduction of CPF). Then..what happens? I get bombed with complains and scoldings that I am crazy! The most, I guess these things will happen: 1)I will definitely look 10 years older or more than my actual age 2)I will develop eye-bags plus very deep dark rings on my eyes 3)I may faint at one of my workplace cos of the lack of sleep result in extreme tiredness and exhaustion 4)I will fall sick more and more easily.

Number 1 will happen because, when a person does not have enough sleep and plus if he/she is a mid-night owl or is often stay up till very late/early hours of the morning, the facial did not have enough time to regenerate new cells and certain cells will break down. Plus the harsh environment and improper care of the skin, will result in dull skin etc. The person will then look much older than their actual age(I heard from people some years ago told me this)

Number 2 is obviously from lack of sleep. I have dark rings before but seriously I do not know how it formed? Eye bags is dull to the dryness of the eyes plus the blinking of the eyes is lessen.(I only know I get eye bags plus puffy eyes if I am crying for many nights)

Number 3 is exhaustion from the body. I had tried not sleeping for a week and the result is = The mind is half-shuts down and absorbs information two times slower. really don't know what else to do. I cannot think of any other ways to earn more money other than that.

After work, we then quickly rush to the office to take our bags and leave. When we were outside of the shop, a lot of them are exchanging hp numbers but I get their emails instead. Those who know me, including my friends and church mates, you should know that I hardly call people to talk or even SMS if I have nothing in particular or no "valid" reason to call you. I don't usually call people and I just don't used to call. I am not the type of person who mingles with people easily(sometimes in MSN I hardly chat also). I think I am worst than Bro.Khai's compared to what he used to be(he also claims that he used to be anti-social)

Then QiuZhen, MeiYun, Roslinda and me quickly went to the Arcade to take pictures. Of course, I don't look good in the pictures as usual. They then went to edit things and I guide them along but didn't contribute to the drawings and editing cos I played with Esther before. Esther also ask why I didn't take any pictures with BaoBei on our Anniversary? Haiz..maybe he feels contented with just one picture bah. Anyway, I think for pictures the lesser the better. Cos I used to cut a Card Picture of me and my ex-bf over a reason that I had forgotten but I hated him then to the extreme that I cut the picture into tiny pieces. He's considered my first love though. His other picture my Mum used to store it somewhere but now it's lost. I have his picture only in my memories(too bad human body don't have printer..ok ok I am being lame).

Meet Esther, Jia Xin, My Da LaoPo(Elder wife) at the last minute. So actually I had also join them at the last minute of their outing with Jia Xin. We went to Ceneleisure to eat the Dim Sum cos it was suggest by me(actually I also don't know what to eat). I wanted to eat Pasta Mania at first but I know it will be expensive. While choosing from the menu, Esther and Da LaoPo comment that don't eat this and that cos it's not nice. I then comment to them if they ever went to JB, don't eat the Wang Jiao restaurant there cos, the service standard there is very poor and the food is extremely lousy. Jia Xin said if I ever go to Malaysia again, I should go to Ipoh to eat as she said the food there is nicer and cheaper. They eat Pasta, Soup Noodles etc while I only eat the Dim Sum as I don't really have the appetite. When I ask about Jia Xin and her boyfriend, she sounds very harsh and angry so I didn't ask about it further. Anyway, I don't really agree on her theory and her way of seeing things. But well, different people have different views. Perhaps I am a bit more open-minded in my group of friends on certain aspects of things.

We then see Jia Xin off as she is waiting for her boyfriend to fetch her. After that Esther seems unhappy but when Jia Xin ask her, she don't wish to say it out. After Jia Xin went off, Esther explains that she find Jia Xin is very indecisive about her decision on her own relationship. I wonder, if Jia Xin minds about her boyfriend's character, why is she still with him? Is it because she relys on him for certain things? On one moment, she says that she don't like her boyfriend's character and don't like it when her boyfriend do certain things and have seriously consider breaking up, but her actions speaks otherwise of what she told us. But anyway, it's her relationship and her decision about her actions. I just hope that she won't say or do things she might regret later on in life.

Esther, Da Lao Po then decide to catch a movie at the last minute. Went to watch "Mr.Bean's Holiday" and it was very funny movie! A lot of disaster for Mr.Bean during his trip to Paris, which is a very beautiful place from the movie! He was quite unlucky. First he lost his bag because of a boy that he cause the boy to lost his father. After that he lost his passport, wallet and train ticket on a phone booth when he gets on the train in a rush. He also lost his bus ticket when the ticket was blown away by the wind. He then find ways to earn money there by dancing and acting out in a funny way. He then lost the boy while trying to get his ticket back and the police are looking for him, suspecting him for kidnapping the boy. But the ending is good. Cos he manage to met a girl he like there and manage to help the boy to locate his father. He also edited the movie director's flim to make the director popular with the crowds. At last he found his way to his intended location - The beach.

After that we then take a cab home but I am choosing cabs cos I wanted to take the new Hydai cab. I know I am being weird. Cos I want to try on the new cab to smell the air-con.(Different aircon gives me different feeling).

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Going out with HuiYi

HuiYi called me to ask me out at 12 plus in the afternoon. I then suggest to her that we met at 2pm instead but I was late. We met at Harbourfront bus stop and went to Vivocity together. Went to Daiso for shopping and the shop there was packed very neatly! Not like the one at PS. I then bought a foundation make-up base while HuiYi bought some artificial nails. She said she was influence by me as I like Nail arts very much and would do my own manicure. I then show her the manicure WeiDa's girlfriend did it for me and she comment that the pattern is nice but not the colour. I did another Pedicure at the last minute and some of the colours were smudge so that outcome was not nice. That is the only thing that I "Ai Mei" most - My nails. But not to the extend that I would cry if I were to break a nail. If I break a nail without any manicure, I would just leave it but if I were to break a nail with manicure on it, I would erase ALL the manicure paintings and patterns off because of that ONE nail. Maybe if I am really really very free one day, I can look for WeiDa's girlfriend to ask her to teach me to do REAL hands-on professional manicure. But the thing is I must have a lot of time and patience to do a perfect manicure. Girls, please don't get influence by me okay? I do not have anything to show off. I am not pretty and not slim. The best features I have are my hands and fingers(although I do not have nice finger nails like most girls do too)

Went to accompany her to make a police report - FINALLY! The police scan through his computer and he said that he couldn't find any purse that is similar to the one that she reported lost. He then issue her a kind of letter and we went off. I don't understand why she can still be so calm about it when she lose her purse with her I/C in it!? If I am the one who lose my wallet with my IC, I would have been very panic! Cos losing the I/C means big trouble for me. Anyone who picks up that IC could do anything to it from subscribing things, borrowing Library books and never return(and thus makes it that the person who loses the IC have to pay for the fine!) to extreme cases like Loaning money from Loan sharks(if the person's look is similar enough to the IC photo). So don't ever think that losing IC is not serious. At least to me, I will always think of it that it will eventually lead to serious consequences! I even heard from one of my ex-supervisor, she loses her IC FIVE YEARS AGO(Now should be consider Seven years ago), there was one time that Loan Sharks came to her place to demand money from her when she knew herself that she didn't borrow from any Loan sharks before. I heard that the Loan sharks never leave her alone even though she claim to them that she didn't make any loans from them. Her life has been in hell since. She suspect that it could be the IC that she loses it many years ago was being abused. That is why I always kept my wallet close to my side. Another reason was that I lose my own wallet more than 3 times when I was younger. The most money that I had lost was only $50 plus my Brother's Library card in school. The person who could have pick up my wallet did not return it to the Principal's office. I do not know until now what happened to the wallet and especially the constants inside. I remember the contents only 1)My Brother's Library Card 2)Star Cruise Card 3) 5 $10 notes and some amount of coins. The thing I worry most is not the money inside but my Brother's Library card! Luckily I had informed him as soon as I knew I lost my wallet and he has since got a replacement for it. I had lost my wallet last year carelessly but Ivan found it back - Luckily. It drop under the Macdonald's chair. I would have cried badly if I really lost that wallet cos it has important documents inside like my IC, $150 dollars and BaoBei's and my couple picture(hey! at least it's important to me okay!?)

Went to meet an Insurance Agent and she recommend me a savings plan of $100 per month. But the thing is that I could get interest of 5%-8% per year. I do not know whether to get it and discuss with BaoBei about it. He says the decision is up to me. Haiz...but I do not know how to make decisions when it comes to matters like this. I want BaoBei to at least guide me financially cos I am weak in that particular area.

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Mandicure

Tried very hard to wake BaoBei up for CGM. He told me that he doesn't want to go. I tried persuading him to go but at the same time I do not want to sound like ordering. I promised him that I'll go with him so that he won't feel alone.

The CGM is the same as Sister Lorraine had shared on Friday. To me, I still feels that she preach better. Okay lah, maybe I prefer her preaching than Bro's. After the CGM, we then went for fellowship with the adult CG. BaoBei says he like Bro's white PSP, plus the BEST thing was, the games that Bro wants to play, he can download it instead of buying it like BaoBei does. Wow! Bro save a lot of money this way! It was a present from E301! Celebrated Bro's Birthday yesterday and Bro received a lot of presents.

After the fellowship, we went to meet WeiDa and his girlfriend. I then comment that her pedicure is very nice. She said if I want to, she can do a exact manicure for me. Since we had some time, we then went to Wei Da's place and she help me to do it. If I were to really do a Manicure outside, it would cost me $10-15 dollars to do it. I wanted to take picture to send it to friendster but I find it difficult to do it cos each nail has different patterns. But I like to result of it on the overall.

Will be going to work on Tuesday but I have a feeling that my current job is unstable. I will see how things goes. Maybe if I had save up enough money, I can change another job soon. I end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Linguine cooking...First attempt = FAILED!!!!

I regret buying only one packet of Linguine. Actually the other day when I was shopping with Esther, the Linguine was at a promotion of $1 per packet. But I don't know it was Linguine(BaoBei and my favourite pasta)if I know I would have bought 3 instead! My Mum thought it was for the family but I told her I bought it for BaoBei. Thinking of cooking it for him this coming Saturday when he books out. But my Mum ask me to cook it for myself and use myself as an experiment instead. She said,"If it doesn't taste good when you yourself eat it, what makes you think it will taste good when you cook it for that what Hao?"(She always mix YenHao's name with one of my ex-boyfriend's name Yi Hao)

This morning I woke up quite early. Don't know why. I then went to shower and then feeling hungry and nothing else in the house for me to eat, I take that packet out to cook. Put 1/3 of it in the water and then open the gas to boil it. I think I only cook for 5 minutes and then took it out to put the tomato sauce on top of it. As I didn't put any vegetables along with it, it looks very plain. I then ask my father to sample it for me and he said,"Wah! Cannot! The noodle is so hard!" Haiz..the outcome? First attempt of cooking. The result? = FAIL!!! I then taste it myself and I was thinking,"Okay, the noodle is quite hard. As in, difficult to chew. Biting it off is okay but the chewing part is very torturous. The look itself is not very tempting and looks extremely plain. Haiz..felt a bit discourage by my first attempt but overall I have learnt something: Boil the Linguine more than 5 minutes next time, add Olive oil and must buy some vegetables to make it look more "colorful" instead of making it so dull. Luckily I cook it first before taking it to BaoBei. If not I think he will grade me F9 for it. Cos I myself give myself 1/10 for that cooking attempt. The 1 point is that I remembered to put Olive oil just that the noodle taste hard and it is very dull.

Nothing special on Saturday. Just that I am trying to celebrate our belated anniversary by cooking something for him. But then, seriously speaking, I am not the type of person that knows how to cook very well. I have never ever cooking anything nice in my whole life and anyway, since the "fire" incident at my old house, my Mum has actually ban me from cooking in the kitchen. I remembered I have tried cooking omelette's for my little brother. I cook 3 of it and on one, he said it was too salty. On number two, he said it was tasteless on the last attempt he said it was too oily -_-" Argh!!! Haiz..luckily BaoBei is a much better cook than me.

Tried to do the song sheet but then I discover in horror that I don't have Microsoft word program in my Dad's Laptop and his computer. Anyway, when I tried doing it in another format, it just doesn't seems right and I cannot do it in the format that Lorraine ask me to do. Sianz...I suggest to her that maybe I can borrow Chee Yuan's computer and do it as his place instead but she object. Printing the song sheet is more harder than I imagine.

Will end here for now. Sorry for the lame entry.

New Skin + fellowship with Lorraine = Amazing!

Browse through the blogskin and I finally found a blogskin that I really crave for so long. HuiYi don't seem to like it and comment that the words beside are really very small. I tried very hard to change the font size but everything still remains the same. Do you know that the side introductions are actually Font=24? But I don't know why it still remain the same size. I wanted a blogskin with Stars twinkling all over, cos the blogskin itself represents my life and most of my situations. That is = Darkness. The twinkling stars represents The people around me. If you notice close enough, you would also see that there are some stars which are not twinkling. It means the people who are with me all the time but I didn't take notice. While the blue tiny dots represents either I have lost friends or friends whom I no longer contact for a very long time. Sounds very illogical and funny huh? Well, but at least that's how I see it.

It's already been 4 days and I never visit BaoBei's Mum. My Mum and BaoBei keep on asking me to go and visit her. But...what do I say to her? I really don't know what to say! I also don't know where to bring her. BaoBei ask me to bring her to Orchard Road cos she has not been there for a long time but there is something that I have to take note: BaoBei's Mum can't really walk long distance as she has problem with her feet. I then ask BaoBei,"Can I hold her hand while walking with her?" He stunned for a while before answering,"If you are not scared then you hold lor". There is one time, I forgot when, I accompany BaoBei's Mum to buy something. The shopkeeper then comment,"Wah! Your daughter so big already?" BaoBei's Mum then smiled and answer,"No, she's not my daughter. She's my son's girlfriend". I then felt my face turn red. *Pai seh* Then the shopkeeper said,"Wah so good! Your future-daughter-in-law accompany you shopping". *So pai seh!!!*

Yesterday was my Mum's birthday and it's also Esther Leong's Birthday. I didn't attend the outing that I had promised them cos my Brother told me at the last minute that we are going to have dinner. When I said,"Sorry, I have to attend my CGM's birthday". He said,"But today is Ma's birthday!" Seriously speaking, I really DON'T KNOW my Mum's birthday at all until yesterday. Cos from young, she refuse to tell me her Birthday. By the way, I have never seen my parents celebrating their anniversaries before. I am stupid enough not to see her I/C for her birthday. That explains for my last minute absence. Went to Vivocity and my Dad ask me to show them around. Like I know the place?! Went around window shopping and ate at Food Culture. Now then I understand why the music is always soooo old! Cos I forgot that the food they sell is in the 1940s - 1980s. That explains the music. I always thought how come the music there is so old!? But luckily that day, all the Chinese music that the player played, is my favourite oldies Chinese songs! Like,"Mei Gui, Wo Ai Ni"(Rose, I love you) and the other I heard is,"Ye Lai Xiang" Sorry I don't know the English term for this one. Had an enjoyable day that day.

Went to meet HuiYi. Suppose to meet her at 10am but I was late. Went to Samuel's place to check whether her wallet is there but couldn't find it. By the way, Samuel's place is really very far!!! I then suggest to her to report it to the police. She said that it's useless cos the police don't care about such things anymore. I was thinking,"Really?! If that is the case, don't blame me for blacklisting the police in my heart from then on!" Useless! The worst part is that HuiYi's IC is in the wallet! Oh no! But somehow I pray that she'll be able to get her wallet back somehow. Samuel's room was half size bigger than mine!!! His Mum's room was more bigger!(The size of my living room!!) Overall, I was very impress with his place!(Except that the walking distance is very very far! Help!)

Called BaoBei's Mum at his home and her handphone but no one seems to be picking up the phone. Haiz..Heard from BaoBei later on that she'll be going back to JB on Saturday. Lorraine then SMS me to meet me at 7.30pm I then walk around Bugis aimlessly and went to arcade to play games. There is a game I wanted to try but since so many people are looking at the game, I dare not play. After that I went to HMV. SAW SUN'S ALBUM CAME OUT!!!! The Chinese version..2 formats again! But then the price is quite expensive for me. $22+ I calculated 2 CDs is about $50+ Argh!!! Forget it! This time I tell myself to only buy 1 CD and that's it!

Meet Lorraine and Meimei still give me the "Dao" look. Haiz..but never mind. I expect Lorraine to talk to me with a stern or still-angry-expression but her reaction and expression surprise me. We then went to a cafe and she spoke to me about Friday and Saturday incident, this time, calmly and explain to me in detail what I did wrong.(Seriously, I was half-expected that she will flare at me anytime but she didn't...erm..Thank God)After talking a lot of things with her, somehow I felt loved and forgiven. She said that YenHao was very tolerant but there may comes a day where he will burst. She then explain to me using an example of a balloon. Then speak to me about ego, pride, Mission Trips and a lot of other things.

Went separate ways with Lorraine when it was time to say goodbye. She gave me a pat on the back. While I was in the bus, I look out of the window and think a lot of things. Tried calling BaoBei but I couldn't get through. On the way home, I saw a cat sitting on a window ledge on the 2nd storey and it gave me a fright! It was the cat that I used to feed it and play with it. I recognise it cos the cat have a crook tail. The way it stare at me scares me. The only time I am very afraid of cats is when 1)They hiss fiercely at me 2)They look at me with a very "murderous" eyes. I then walk inch by inch slowly cos I am afraid it will jump on me any moment and scratch my face with it's paws. I have been scratch and bitten by a fat cat at my old house when I was young on my left arm and hand. The scratch marks are gone but the bite of the cat still remains on my left hand. It is not visible enough unless you take a close look at my hand. Very memorable huh?

I think I have to end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Leave me alone and I'll be fine and I hate people TO FALSELY ACCUSE ME OR MISUNDERSTAND ME!!!

Went for Service on Saturday and it was good. Witness some healing takes place. After the service, something bad happen but I seriously don't wish to talk about it. Those who know what had happen after the service, just don't mention it ever again. After service, BaoBei tried very hard to console me but I was in inconsolable state. HuiYi then talk to me for a while. When someone came, I really don't have the mood to talk to her anything at that point of time. She said to me(While folding her arms <-- watch your body language next time..in case u forgotten, 90% of the communication is by ACTIONS),"Can you please talk to me in a calm manner?" At that point of time, how can one expect me to be calm? Anyway, at that time that was really my most calmest state. Then she add on something which made me very very angry,"Why? Challenge authority is it?" To that someone and to everyone that don't know me from Secondary School: You don't know me well. If I really were to challenge YOUR authority, I seriously would have done something to you that would definitely shock you and the people around me. I do not wish to talk to you at that point of time because I know myself well that I wasn't in a very calm or at least stable condition to talk to you. I seriously don't wish to say or do things that I might regret later on in life. But anyway, after thinking through, I could only say this to you: I am sorry. I am indeed in the wrong in the first place but....just something to tell you, there are times, you really have to watch your words(and that includes me too lah...i also have to watch my words)in case you do not know, certain words of yours did not prove your point or at least I do not really get your message but your words are only meant to HURT me. If that's your way of...doing things, then ok..I will accept it as part of yours from now on and PLEASE, I AM NOT CHALLENGING AUTHORITY! If you think it that way, again, I am very sorry to made you THINK that way. Overall, I am seriously sorry for what I have done and said since I am the cause of it.

After that, BaoBei then bring me "home". His cousins are all happily chatting and playing around but I don't have mood to even smile at them. I then quietly go out and wanted to go for a walk alone. His 2nd cousin followed me and refuse to leave me alone no matter what I said. She said,"Bu Ke Yi! Jiejie..wei shan mo ni ku? Gao Shu wo hao ma? Wei shan mo ni yi ge ren chu qu? Xian zai zhe mo wan le..ni yi ge ren chu qu hen wei xian"(Cannot! Jiejie..why u cry? Can tell me? Why you go out alone? Now so late at night..you go out alone very dangerous) That time was 11 plus at night. She finally leave me alone after some time cos she has to go back to Malaysia. I then lie on the chair and cried a lot while watching the stars. I saw the three stars!(Esther Ho will know what is the stars) but it wasn't very bright as the other stars. Her words then ran through my mind and I keep crying thinking back on Friday's incident plus Saturday's incident. BaoBei then called to ask where am I and why I go out alone? I didn't go back until 12 plus midnight.

When BaoBei saw me, he hug me and said he's worried. Had some serious talk that made me change my thinking on some things. After that I told him I am fine and went to sleep(or I should say pretending to sleep) while he continue playing games. From that time onwards my tears keep on flowing and it won't stop. That was the very first time I cried the whole night till daybreak. I then SMS that person to apologise after thinking through quite a lot of things last night. I had a feeling that certain things will change from now on. Sometimes, you don't have to use big words to hurt me. Just those tinnie-winnie-simple words of yours is enough to cause me emotional wound deeply. But don't worry. I know what to do from now on..seriously.

Had one week break and I wasn't very happy about it as I find it too long for a break. If I think of the positive side, I could only use the 1 week time to relax myself and to really use the time to calm myself down. If I think on the negative side, it would mean that it only makes matters for me worst base on my situation. BaoBei wants me to accompany his Mum during this one week. Which only means in her presence, I had to act as if I am happy no matter what happens.

I think I had to end here for now. I didn't mean to offend you on this blog in any way. Just some of my own views on things. Anyway, it's my fault and FULL STOP. I don't wish to say more...

Yeh!!! Ah girl is back!!!

BaoBei book out on Thursday night but I was unable to meet him because of CGM and also because he only book out at 10pm at night. He then told me a good news,"Ah girl is back in Singapore le!" When I heard that I was shouting,"Ahhhhhh!!!! Ah girl!!!!! How long will she be staying?" He said,"For a week". Haiz...but I think I can only get to see her on weekends only.

On Friday, while I was working, Ah girl walk up to me and greeted me. I was very happy to see her! BaoBei's Mum also smile at me to greet me. While they were busy shopping, one of my colleagues ask,"Oei..who's that huh? Your Mum and your sister?" I replied her somewhat jokingly,"No..it's my future-mother-in-law and my future-cousin". She said,"Huh!? Really?! Congratulations! Oei..if you got married remember to invite me leh". I said to her,"I didn't even have your number how to invite you?" After that when it was my lunch time, I quickly join BaoBei and his Mum and cousin for a short lunch at food court.

After work, I went to meet BaoBei at the MRT and we went to Changi to fellowship and also seeing Mike off. He's going to London!!!(My favourite country!) Before that we went to eat and Lorraine played games with us. Catherine played very well! She's also a very smart girl! Most of the words are thought by her. She and BaoBei can even think of those "chiem" words out. That is why we scored better. Heard that the winners will be receiving a gift from Lorraine. Haha! Catherine and My Dearest BaoBei, the credit all goes to the both of you.

After that Lorraine had a serious talk with me about how I handle BaoBei. Haiz...almost cried but then I try very hard to hold back my tears(Luckily I manage to..)Cos BaoBei keep following me closely everywhere I went. That makes it more difficult for me to cry..cos I had promised not to cry in front of him. Although I did broke down a few times in front of him before. Somemore, crying in a public place is not a very nice thing. But somehow, from Thursday CG until yesterday's outing, I somehow felt that Lorraine has change a bit of her character. Maybe because she's a CGL now and that she had to set an example. Have to get used to her seriousness side of her.

Went to BaoBei's place cos it was quite late for me to go home. Saw Ah Girl and she said,"Eh Jiejie! Ni Lai Le ah!"(Eh Jiejie! You came!") I said,"Ya" and wink at her. She seems very happy to see me. After that when I tried to go into BaoBei's room, there seems to have people inside. I couldn't see who it was cos it was too dark but I saw dark figures moving around on the bed. I then closed the door. After that a girl then open the door sheepishly and ask,"Shui Lai de?"(Who's that?) when I saw the girl, I said,"Lao Er!!!"(2nd eldest) she shout in joy when she sees me,"Jiejie!!!" the youngest cousin(Ah Ting), was also there! They then sleep in BaoBei's 2nd Brother's room.

As you can guess, I just reach home not long ago to re-pack my belongings. My family are not at home..sian. That shameless bitch came to my house twice to wreck havoc at my main gate!!!! Report the matter to the police but they can't seems to do anything about it. Any official employee who is reading this, sorry for my straight-forwardness but I personally feel that the police didn't do anything to help the residents who are being harass at all!!! So, can you blame me for hating the police force?(All useless and good-for-nothing idiots!) All they like to say is,"We need evidence to..blah blah blah". I tell you hor, if Singapore EVERYTHING also need evidence, then I dare to say this,"I can murder somebody and get Scott-free". Do you believe? Do you know why? If a criminal is smart enough to clear away the evidence after him/her, they won't get caught so easily by the police. Why? Everything needs stupid proof mah. Maybe THAT explains why some murder cases or whatever cases were NEVER EVER BEEN SOLVE even after years and years down the road! If the person is smart enough not to leave any clues or evidence that he/she has done the deed? Then how? Get Scott-free is it? The more I think, the more I hate that shameless slut!!! Maybe she knew that my family cannot do anything about it to her. So that is why she is so bold enough to cause my family suffer! NB!!! BITCH YOU WATCH OUT ONE DAY!!! I still remember what you did to him!!!! BU YAO LIAN DE JIAN NU REN!!! BIAN TAI PO!!! YONG ZHE ZHONG XIA LIU DE FANG SHI LAI SHAO RAO REN!!! WO BU HUI QING YI FANG GUO NI DE!!! NI ZHUI HAO ZAI WO KAN JIAN NI ZHI QIAN GE LO LI ZHUANG SI!!! BU RAN DE HUA NI GEI WO XIAO XING!!! RU GUO GEI WO KAN JIAN NI, NI DE RE ZI BU HUI HAO GUO!!! JIU SUAN WO SI LE, WO ZHUO GUI YE BU HUI FANG GUO NI!!!!

Luckily my brother is a lot more calmer than I am. But he told me,"Jie, you don't think that I am calm. I also don't know what I will do to that shameless woman if I ever sees her. If I lost my cool, I might hit her". I guess I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Healing + HuiYi's encouragment = Happy Wor!

My tongue is still in pain this morning. Have problem chewing food *sian* Went to work this morning and my apron was missing! I was thinking,"What the...!!!" Then I saw a girl wearing my apron!!! My workplace has 4 new girls attach to the store again. By the way, the apron I am wearing, did not have a name tag. But I have my ways of identifying my own things. I then point to a girl tying her hair in ponytails,"Oei! You take my apron!" She replied smartly,"How do you know it's yours? It doesn't have a name tag!" I then said to her,"I can prove to you that apron you are wearing is mine!!!" The things inside the apron are standard and it's all the same except that the apron I am wearing has a mini hole puncher. She then kept quiet and I ask her to return me by lunch time.

One of the new girls keep looking for me to ask me questions. Hey! I am not the senior ok? But luckily the things she asked, are mostly that I can help her. If not I just refer her to the senior packers. At lunch time, after eating, I tried to locate Sun's new album but both English and her latest Albums I couldn't find it in the stores. After work, the new girls never take out their aprons and I kindly told them that they have to return the aprons back.

On my way home, HuiYi told me to call her tomorrow morning but I called her just now instead. She talk to me on a lot of things and she said that I have grown. She said that when I was in the other CG(W117), I had wanted to backslide a lot of times and she don't understand why. I also didn't really sing and worship God in those days. But when I came to Bro.Khai's CG, I had only mention that I wanted to backslide once but after Lorraine's counseling, I did not mention it ever again(She said which was good). She had also notice that I had began to start worship God and sing praises more often than last time(Why I didn't notice it myself huh?) I then said,"No lah. My spiritual level is still "buang"(low/cannot make it)" She said,"No..you have improve a lot le. Just that you didn't notice". I still don't think that I am spiritual enough. But she said a lot of words of encouragement to me.

Remember the previous blog where I said I had difficulty speaking cos of the cut on my tongue? After I had reach home, I sing two Christian songs and after the two songs, I no longer felt the pain on my tongue although it has become worsen...the skin of the tip of my tongue had peel by itself but it remains within it. The pain has decrease a lot and I only felt discomfort that the peeling skin still stuck within my tongue that's all. Okay lah..sorry that I know it sounds gross. But at least I no longer felt the pain like before. I still hope that it will recover soon.

I think I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

The two songs that I had sing are below:

Song Title: Come Holy Spirit

Come Holy Spirit fall on me now
I need your anointing
Come in your power
I love You Holy Spirit
You're captivating my soul
And every day I grow to love You more

I'm reaching for Your heart
You hold my life in Your hand
Drawing me closer to You
I feel Your power renew
Nothing compares to this place
Where I can see You face to face
I worship You in spirit and in truth

Song Title: So You would come

Before the world began, you were on His mind
And Every tear you cry is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love, He gave His only Son
Everything was done so you would come

Nothing you can do could make Him love you more
And nothing that you've done could make Him close the door
Because of His great love, He gave His only Son
Everything was done so you would come

Come to the Father, through your gift is small
Broken hearts, broken lives, He will take them all
The power of the Word, the power of His blood
Everything was done so you would come

Difficulty speaking + Serious thoughts = Help!!!

I don't like to speak much nowadays. If possible, I don't want to speak at all. The only thing I remember was I had scald my tongue last week with a coffee but after that I do not know why, it develops into a small cut on my tongue. Now, the "cut" has somehow grown larger and it becomes more painful for me each time I tried to speak.

Watch "The Haunted School" with BaoBei and his friends on Saturday night. For those of you who watch movies, hoping for a good ending or closure for a movie, I strongly DON'T recommend you to watch the above movie cos it doesn't have a proper ending and I do not know what is the ending about. I do not know is it that I am tired or because my mind is in a blank state, I wasn't afraid at all about the movie although it was suppose to be a horror movie. While BaoBei's eyes widen on some parts and look at me whenever scary part occurs or scream a little due to the sound effects. While I am just plainly "stoning" there. To me the movie is not scary at all on most parts. The story is about the previous discipline mistress who had passed away due to the fire that burnt down the whole school, came back as a female ghost and kill the present students who broke any of the school rules. Each time a present student died, a shadow will form at a wall. She is the one who set the school rules while the principle of the school didn't really bother her work and let her run the school and to change the school rules. Because the principle himself, has an affair with the discipline mistress. His wife had gone mad and was admitted to mental institution after she set the fire the burnt down the school, killing the discipline mistress. After the school was re-constructed, no one knows where was the previous head office located and a rumour spread on the Internet is that, in order to end the curse of the school rules, the previous location of the head office must be locate and burnt it. I personally found the school rules to be really...illogical and unrealistic. The school rules I remembered in the movie stated below:

Rule number 1: Students are not allowed to fall in love in school

Rule number 2: Lights off must be at 11pm. If any student was found to be awake after lights off, she will be severely dealt with

Rule number 3: The length of the skirt is not allow to be shorter than 2cm above the knee

I do not know for the rest of you but I found rule number one is quite illogical. Unless, a human has no feelings, no heart or whatever, it is extremely difficult for students NOT to fall in love. I do heard of cases(but rare lah)where couples do get married to their classmates/schoolmates from the same school when they grown into adulthood. Unless that person is a nerd who only knows how to study, study and study with no life at all other than School, home, studies. I seriously don't believe that students don't have love life develop in school. By the way, the haunted school is a strictly All-girls school until the school decides to change it into a mix-school, by first inviting 4 male students to join the school(But the 4 male students died in the movie later on cos they break the school rules).

After the movie, BaoBei then send me home and I then drift to sleep for the longest time - 16 hours. Of course I was awaken by SMSes and phone calls. Have wake up at 8am to call BaoBei before drifting to sleep again but I heard that he did not attend CGM and Lorraine was quite upset over it. After some serious thoughts, I think it's time that I should talk to BaoBei about it but I do not know how to talk to him in a nice way to let him know that I am not angry with him but I just want him to have some responsibility. I am a person who really do not know how to talk to people well.

I think I will end here for now. Will continue some other time *Drifts into sleep again*

Sister Shamine's preaching + My past(Can don't read it if you want to..)

Went to work in a rush and I forgot to bring my Bible and note book along with me. Work was super slack today. There's a new guy attach to the store and his name is quite funny. If it's pronounce in Chinese, is Jing Chong. But an auntie named him "Jing Gong" in hokkien and it make all of us laugh. But I doubt the guy like his nick name.

Lost my pen and Song sheet at a room when Sister Shamine told us to shift our place. Although it's a very cheap pen, but it's a pen that my younger brother bought it for me. Guess I have to buy another pen for myself. Saw the list about my new position in a list. Saw BaoBei's position too and I was thinking,"Huh?! Cannot lah!" HuiYi then said,"You ah..this also cannot, that also cannot. Then what you can do? Anyway, Lorraine's decision is final". Surprise but was happy to see Yanglin and Esther Leong joined our CGM for make up.

Sister Sharmine looks very fierce at first but after a while, she looks okay. The way she preach was very funny at first and she uses "modern" style to teach. Makes the preaching "alive" and not quite dull for me. She uses a lot of hilarious terms to describe her past and her preaching. But at the end of it, I cried about the part where she says,"I can feel that there's some of you, whom are disappointed about something or someone from the past. It could be that an ex boyfriend or an ex girlfriend promise you something but it did not come to past..." I cried because the words she said, I suddenly had a flash back of my first love promised me that he'll be counting down with me on 31 December 1999 but...a month before that, he lied to me that he'll be going overseas when actually he fell in love with his God-sister(She's 2 yrs older than him)and he left me partly because of her with his stupid excuses. Before that, she mentions that hatred and unforgiveness will result in a stopping point/pause in our spiritual life.

No wonder I am still stuck in 10 November 1999 forever(The day that my first love left me) To be honestly speaking, he has came back into my life once in year 2002 but at that year, something happen and it stop us from being together. Until year 2004, I met him again through one of my ex-schoolmate and also an ex-friend and something almost happened on my birthday that night. I didn't hate him but I felt humiliated. Adrian Chua(The one who always hit me) then went into rage when he found out that I celebrated my birthday with my ex-boyfriend and my ex-friends. I still remember his reaction until today cos...when he found out about it, I was being beaten quite severely all over and being slap repeatedly on both side of my face...that is only the minor beatings. The major ones I cannot say it here or my friends will be very upset.

After church, we then celebrate Jaslyn's birthday. The CG bought her a small cake and 2 paints? I think. We then went to Long John Silver to fellowship. Shared with someone about my problem and she ensures me that everything will be okay between BaoBei and me. She says that I should try to communicate with BaoBei about my feelings and not to keep it to myself. I have a habit that whenever I can't solve anything verbally, or I can't seems to get my message across despite displaying obvious signs or whatever, I will run away from the problem AND the person totally. That only happens whenever I can't get my message across or the person ignore my feelings totally. She then ask a very casual but important question to me. I thought about it seriously for awhile before answering her,"If he continues to be like this, I will definitely break up with him" Although that is only the last thing on my mind. I had stated the top 3 things that he do to make me ask for an immediate break up with no further chances given. Other than the 3 things, only I me and myself know the other ULTIMATE reason for a break up. But of course I don't anyhow break up lah..Only the people around me WHO TRULY UNDERSTANDS ME WELL, will know that I will tend to display signs or "warning" when I am extremely upset about something on my expression or I will drop obvious hints to a person. If I had done these two things and the person still doesn't have a clue what is going on, before he or she could realize, I had already say,"Goodbye" to the friendship/relationship. That is one of the reasons why my previous relationships doesn't tend to last. I can only offer my apologises,"Sorry a person who's got attitude problem is like that"

I think I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Churchwide prayer meeting + Lorraine's words = Reflection

Went to work in the morning and buy a cup of Latte on the way to work. Before work, I had gone for a hair cut plus eye brown trimming. A colleague then ask me,"There is MacDonald's in Plaza Singapura?" I replied,"Ya..it's at level 1" She ask me where? I replied it's near Starbucks but she doesn't seems to know. Strange...I thought she's here longer than me?

While I was working, HuiYi and Samuel came to visit me. I was surprise! When it was lunch time, a sales girl quickly chase me to go for lunch. Went to Ajisan to have lunch with HuiYi and Samuel and have a short chat with them. After that they went their ways while I walk around the shopping mall.

Went for Prayer meeting in the evening. Received Lorraine's SMS and I quickly rush to Expo to meet Qi Yuan. Went to church together with them. The prayer meeting was great! At first I didn't really have the mood to worship cos I was troubled by some things. After that, when a song about HS sang by the singers, I then sing along slowly and started worshipping.

The Church leaders then lead us into prayers and I felt extremely comfortable with that than prayer 1 to 1. Pastor then show us slide shows about Sun and I felt very proud of her that she's building schools in China. Her 5th Album is out! Haiz..no money for anymore CDs. After the Prayer meeting, Sister Lorraine then talk to us for a while. She mention something about raising some of us. Ai Zhen then give me a pat on my back when Lorraine mention to the CG that I am feeling sick. She also mentions about the SMS from Qi Yuan which I never received from him about our prayer life and she wants us to fellowship with each other more often and to concern about each other's lives.

Reach home a while ago and my eyes are getting tired. Have to end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Da Lao Po's Birthday + Unhappy episode + First Day in Job = Burden in my heart

Went for Sherlyn's birthday yesterday although I was down with fever. Bathe in cold water to get rid of the "heat". Couldn't watch the service online cos the connection for the Internet was down..sian! Super sway! When I was feeling slightly better, I then went for my Da Lao Po's birthday.

Saw Ling-Zi, Angel, Lynn, Esther and Jia Xin. Pass a book to Lynn to ask her to do me a favour. Jia Xin was very mad from the point that I arrived. She said she's going to break up with her boyfriend soon. Haiz...Couples tend to take each other for granted some times. When Da Lao Po arrived, I was surprised! She had cut her hair short! She ask me am I okay as I was sick in the morning. The fever has gone down a little I guess? They then went to Swanson's for dinner but I only order a $5+ drink cos I don't have enough money to eat. Anyway, the food there is very expensive. Da Lao Po then share her food with me *So pai seh* Ate Jia Xin's food in the end cos she can't finish it and give the left-overs to me. Take photos and cut the cake to eat it. Very nice but we missed the fireworks that day.

Went over to Esplanade to meet Sylvia and I saw Nicholas there! Three times le!!! First time was when I was with HuiYi and BaoBei. I even held BaoBei's hand infront of W117 and all of them were somehow shock to see us together. They all ask the same question,"Oei YenHao, you got Juliet pregnant?" and MingYing ask,"Are your married?" and YueMing ask,"When are your going to have wedding dinner?" The first and second question makes me very embarrass. I say this once again and the final time,"NO, I AM NOT PREGNANT!" But then again, If I got pregnant now, I think Lorraine, HuiYi and Bro.Khai will definitely "kill" me. The second time was at Bugis when my friends and I are window shopping and bump into them. The third time is yesterday's night. Too much of a coincidence!

Chat with BaoBei over the MSN the other day and I suggest not to see each other for 2 weeks to a month. BaoBei ask me why and I just told him that I need some time to think through some things. He then called me on my handphone and ask me to tell him what has happened? There are some things I just don't quite like it and I feared some things of my past will repeat it again. I just told him to give me some space alone and don't SMS me or call me for this period of time. He felt very upset and ask me not to leave him. I am not leaving him! I didn't even said the two words!(BaoBei will know what is the two words). I just don't know how to communicate to him that it's not really that serious and it's not as negative as he thought. I just need some time alone to think through our relationship and certain things. I am very stress on both sides. Both my family side and his side. I am a person who can't handle stress at all. There are some times I wish that I could leave everything here(My Family, My friends and BaoBei)to go to somewhere where I can be totally alone to leave my mind blank. I am really tired of certain things that is happening. Of course my situation is not as bad as HuiYi's. There is no way to solve the problems at hand...except if I could really finally move out to live on my own. But then I don't have any financial support.

Started work on the first day as a packer and so far so good. Except that the colleagues there were not as friendly as Ghim Moh. Lunch break is only 30 minutes so I had no choice but to finish my food within 5 minutes. The rest of the 25 minutes are spend going to the washroom(10 minutes), another 10 minutes to walk around and left 5 minutes to slack at back room. The day ended early cos the company is having annual company dinner and all the permanent staff have to attend it. The company is very strict on punctuality that if a staff was late for even 1 minute, he or she will be sent back and will not work on that day..plus no pay.

Have to end it here for now. Do you think I have made a wrong choice or am I saying the wrong words to BaoBei? I love him but sometimes, some things are just too much for me to handle...

Career Fair + Friend's birthday gift + A temp job! = Yeh!!!

Went for the Career Fair yesterday. Actually I went to Alamak chat to chat with the chatters there. There is one guy who gave me a website for accountant but I told him that I am bad in accounts but his company need accountants urgently. I didn't copied the website. There's also another guy who ask me to accompany him to the career fair but I didn't do so. There's not much job for me to choose there cos their minimum of qualification is a diploma cert or a degree holder. Sianz...bought a career guide book but it doesn't seem to be much help for me.

I saw a culinary skill that might upgrade BaoBei's current skills a little and would like him to try. I believe that he will have a very big future on his skills. He once told me that he wish to further his studies to get a higher diploma in culinary skills and I encourage him to go for it. But..he says the course fees is a 5-digit-figure sum and he couldn't afford the fees. I felt very sad when I hear this. Haiz..can't even support BaoBei for his skills!!! So useless! I then told him that maybe I can work at Pub as waitress/cashier to earn the money for his studies(but really not much). He kinda protest and said that even with a degree holder, he could go nowhere. He doesn't want me to work in that kinda environment too. He then said,"You ask Bro and Lorraine first. If one of them agree then I will allow you to work". -_-" he knows that is completely out of the question lor! I had asked Lorraine and she object to me working in pubs. If she objects, then no need to ask Bro..cos his answer will definitely be the same!

Went to meet Esther and Jia Xin also called me when she reach. Haiz..Esther was late but she apologise and explain that she had to serve a last minute customer. Well, I do retail before so I understand how it feels to serve a last minute thing. Lynn then join us too. They then went to KFC to eat and I only drink an Ice Tea and a coconut dessert. Shared a two piece chicken with them as they bought the family meal. Jia Xin ask me privately,"Do you think Lynn has become a little bit prettier?" I replied,"No..she looks the same to me". She then said,"KNS lah you! So straight-forward!" After that we went to buy my Da Lao Po's(Elder wife) birthday gift. Oh! Now I know where they get my birthday gift le! They keep teasing me that I am getting pregnant! Qi Shi ren! I think I will fast for a year from Monday onwards. Don't worry...I will still drink water during my fasting. Just that I won't eat!!!

After that we went to window shop around and I keep asking for ear pierce in every hand phone shop. They are selling $20 for the ear piece. I then found a shop that ZBR(my ex-bf)who's a regular at that hp shop and the shopkeeper sell me a 2-side ear piece for only $10! The ear piece is exactly like my previous ear piece but is $3 more expensive. Finally bought it! So happy! But hor..the music is very soft even when I use the ear piece to listen to it...sucks! I think I have to change my hand phone if I have the money.

Someone has been signing in to my MSN account. I keep getting the message,"You have signed in on another computer..." The only person I know who has my password to my MSN is only BaoBei but that is only because he saved my password in his don't know which laptop? So if you all msn me and I didn't reply to you(Without the busy/away/be right back sign on) that means the person you are msning is NOT ME. I don't know who is it? I then sign in using BaoBei's msn(cos I know his password) and click on my nick to ask,"Who are you!?" the person didn't reply and just sign off. KNS!!!! NNB!!! Don't let me find out who the hell you are!!!(Other than BaoBei and his family..cos the password is stored in my BaoBei's Dad's Laptop)other than these two persons and my younger brother, any other person who access my MSN without my permission, you better not let me know who you are!!!

Received a call from Kelly Services this afternoon and the Agent told me that there is a retail job at Plaza Singapura as Sales Assistant. I like the working hours: Mon - Friday: 10am - 6pm! Hahaha! But I don't know is that the permanent timing though? I had also fill the form at Life Bookshop but no replies so far. I guess some times I had to learn to be patient.

Haiz..almost broke le. BaoBei says he's broke too. I had been imagining to do illegal stuff to earn quick big money but one thing for sure: If I really get to do such a job and get caught, I will definitely lose all my friends around me and needless to say, BaoBei will be terribly upset with me. But so far I had seen/hear many people doing it but only a few gets caught. If you know what I am thinking? Those who wanna know what kinda job is it, ask me personally and I will tell you. But..don't slap me on my face please! Anyway it's just imagination...I need to have a very big courage(meaning bold enough) to do that kinda job. That kinda job, It's only my guessing, if business is good, can earn thousands in a day. If bad, the most hundreds in a day.

I will end here for now. Will blog again some time...