Went to work in a rush and I forgot to bring my Bible and note book along with me. Work was super slack today. There's a new guy attach to the store and his name is quite funny. If it's pronounce in Chinese, is Jing Chong. But an auntie named him "Jing Gong" in hokkien and it make all of us laugh. But I doubt the guy like his nick name.
Lost my pen and Song sheet at a room when Sister Shamine told us to shift our place. Although it's a very cheap pen, but it's a pen that my younger brother bought it for me. Guess I have to buy another pen for myself. Saw the list about my new position in a list. Saw BaoBei's position too and I was thinking,"Huh?! Cannot lah!" HuiYi then said,"You ah..this also cannot, that also cannot. Then what you can do? Anyway, Lorraine's decision is final". Surprise but was happy to see Yanglin and Esther Leong joined our CGM for make up.
Sister Sharmine looks very fierce at first but after a while, she looks okay. The way she preach was very funny at first and she uses "modern" style to teach. Makes the preaching "alive" and not quite dull for me. She uses a lot of hilarious terms to describe her past and her preaching. But at the end of it, I cried about the part where she says,"I can feel that there's some of you, whom are disappointed about something or someone from the past. It could be that an ex boyfriend or an ex girlfriend promise you something but it did not come to past..." I cried because the words she said, I suddenly had a flash back of my first love promised me that he'll be counting down with me on 31 December 1999 but...a month before that, he lied to me that he'll be going overseas when actually he fell in love with his God-sister(She's 2 yrs older than him)and he left me partly because of her with his stupid excuses. Before that, she mentions that hatred and unforgiveness will result in a stopping point/pause in our spiritual life.
No wonder I am still stuck in 10 November 1999 forever(The day that my first love left me) To be honestly speaking, he has came back into my life once in year 2002 but at that year, something happen and it stop us from being together. Until year 2004, I met him again through one of my ex-schoolmate and also an ex-friend and something almost happened on my birthday that night. I didn't hate him but I felt humiliated. Adrian Chua(The one who always hit me) then went into rage when he found out that I celebrated my birthday with my ex-boyfriend and my ex-friends. I still remember his reaction until today cos...when he found out about it, I was being beaten quite severely all over and being slap repeatedly on both side of my face...that is only the minor beatings. The major ones I cannot say it here or my friends will be very upset.
After church, we then celebrate Jaslyn's birthday. The CG bought her a small cake and 2 paints? I think. We then went to Long John Silver to fellowship. Shared with someone about my problem and she ensures me that everything will be okay between BaoBei and me. She says that I should try to communicate with BaoBei about my feelings and not to keep it to myself. I have a habit that whenever I can't solve anything verbally, or I can't seems to get my message across despite displaying obvious signs or whatever, I will run away from the problem AND the person totally. That only happens whenever I can't get my message across or the person ignore my feelings totally. She then ask a very casual but important question to me. I thought about it seriously for awhile before answering her,"If he continues to be like this, I will definitely break up with him" Although that is only the last thing on my mind. I had stated the top 3 things that he do to make me ask for an immediate break up with no further chances given. Other than the 3 things, only I me and myself know the other ULTIMATE reason for a break up. But of course I don't anyhow break up lah..Only the people around me WHO TRULY UNDERSTANDS ME WELL, will know that I will tend to display signs or "warning" when I am extremely upset about something on my expression or I will drop obvious hints to a person. If I had done these two things and the person still doesn't have a clue what is going on, before he or she could realize, I had already say,"Goodbye" to the friendship/relationship. That is one of the reasons why my previous relationships doesn't tend to last. I can only offer my apologises,"Sorry a person who's got attitude problem is like that"
I think I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.
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