Quarrelled with my Mum yesterday night over the TV. She ask me how to program the TV but I admit that I was wrong that the tone of my voice wasn't very nice in replying her. Okay, it's my fault, I admit. But I really really really doesn't understand why, it just starts with the TV and my tone of voice!!! Why does she have to drag past incidents PLUS BAOBEI'S INCIDENT and quarrel with me?! Totally irrelevant to the issue at hand!!! I cannot help her because I myself don't know how to program my own new TV, which I hardly watch!!! Then?! My fault lah?! Since I hardly use the TV and Pa teach me just ONE TIME, she expects me to remember how to use the new TV remote control?! Okay, Sorry! I was really really in the wrong for using that impatient kinda tone to talk to her! But then, instead of sticking it to the topic to quarrel with me, she picks past(AND I MEAN PAST AS IN 3 - 5 YEARS AGO!!!)incidents to quarrel with me and she add BaoBei into the quarrel!!! I was like,"Wah piang eh!!! WTH is happening?!" She then threatened to have me out of the house and throw my Birth cert to me to ask me to get out. While my Bro is trying to solve the problem to help my Mum and me to have peace, I was actually thinking where to go and sleep for the night? But then, I will definitely NOT look for my friends first. I was thinking of sleeping at the stair case of my Block but then I scared that I will see...that guy! Only God knows what he will do if he sees me outside alone at 2am in the morning!
My Bro then talk to me calmly and later he ask me to go apologise to my Mum. I apologise in the end but then things will change from now. She doesn't understand why I don't ever go home on weekends and then blame it on BaoBei and said a lot of negative things which only BaoBei's Mum and Brother will know whether is it true? After everything that my Mum had said, I seriously think that I shouldn't have born into this world at all. How good would it be, if I wasn't exist at all in this world. Yes Lorraine, I know God Loves me and I am a child of God. But sometimes I feel that even though it's just a simple expectation, I couldn't even fulfil it. The marriage course proves to fail on me cos I am still an emotionally shut-down person(or maybe that's how I feel).
Went shopping alone and spend unnecessary money again on bathroom items. I had this fetish for showering Gel and items but I don't understand myself why(Those daily normal showering form). To tell you the truth, I already have 6 bottles of un-used showering Gels at home. Spend $10+ on Watson's small bottle of showering form and lotion($1.95 each...bought 5 bottles), of course plus other items like toothbrush(I need it cos my toothbrush is getting dirty at the ends) and buy a snack. Total amount is then $10+. I had told HuiYi about my fetish and when she step into Watsons to window shop, I saw some bottles of showering form and try to resist to buy it. Am I sick?(As in "Bian Tai" in Chinese or abnormal in English). On normal days or when I am in a rush, I will spend 15 minutes in the bathroom(while my Bro spends an hour..and i don't know what he is doing showering for 1 hour!) if I were to "play" inside the bathroom, it will then be either 30 minutes - 45 minutes(Play soap bubbles, Showering Gels, shampoos etc. Basically playing with Bubbles that I've "made" lah)I just find the bubbles and form interesting and fun that's all. So....BaoBei, if you feel that I spend too long in the bathroom(longer than 30 minutes), you can be sure that I am not bathing inside, but playing.
I have to end here for now. Going to SL to meet my "friends". Will blog again some other time.
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