Thanks giving

On Saturday, Lorraine organize a thanksgiving day for the cell group. It is to thank our cell group members for what they have done in our lives. There are people whom you don't get to thank them in daily basis although you may appreciate for what they have done. As 2007 comes to a close, these are the people in my Cell group that I wanted to thank them for what they have done in my life. Sorry that I didn't thank you all personally but those who get to see this, maybe you can help me pass around? Haha!

Brother.Khai: Thanks for being my Cell group leader in the past year and early this year. Although we have multiplied, but you are not forgotten! Thank you for praying for me when I was down and thank you for your blessings to YenHao and me. Thanks for the effort to introduce jobs for me. I wish you all the best and will be looking forward to your wedding with sister Xiao wei in the coming year :P

Lorraine: Thanks for being my Cell group leader and thanks for leading E376 a cell group that loves and care for one another. Also, thanks for being there for me though my ups and downs in my life and I really appreciate your help and effort in helping me to look for a job. Although you are busy with your school and work, you did tried your best to meet up at least a few of the members for fellowship and to see how we are doing in our lives. Thanks for everything that you've done and sorry for the times that I made you upset and angry. I thank you for your forgiveness though. I still love you as my sister-in-Christ and respect you as my Cell group leader *Hugs*

HuiYi: Thank you for being such a great friend. Sorry for the times that I had made you cry and sorry for the hurt that I've caused. I know that maybe that wound will never be heal but I still thank you for being there for me when I need you most. Thanks for helping My "Ah Lao" and me to reconcile when we almost broke up. We're still together now because of what you did and what you have said to help us to talk to each other. Thanks for everything that you did for me and for the cards(though I have lost it..sorry) Ai ni lah..*muacks* *Hugs*

Stephanie: Thanks for being part of my life and to share with me your problems. Sorry that I can't help you much but to offer my listening ears to you and a shoulder to cry if you need it. I hope that you'll feel comfortable to the rest of the cell group members as time goes by. I love you with the love of Christ! *Hugs*

Jayne: Thanks for your words when I quarrelled with YenHao. I hope that you'll continue to stay strong in the Lord and be a part of the cell group. Your laughter and smiles brings warmth to all of us. I'm happy to have you as a friend and my sister-in-Christ! I really hope to know you more as time goes by. Thanks for the friendship! Take care! *Hugs*

AiZhen: Thank you for comforting me during the first few months of reading my blog. Though I do not know whether you get to read this, but I really want to thank you for your care and concern for me after reading each entry of my blogs. Thanks for your advise too. *Hugs*

Anthea: Sorry for being mean when I am not suppose to. Heard that you've been scared of me since the first day you step into this CG. Sorry if I had cause lots of fears in you. I am amazed by the things you have done at such a young age! Thank you for your cards and encouragements! I still love you as my sister-in-Christ lah :D Don't be scared of me ok? You are unique in your own ways and you do know how to use your gifts to encourage and to bless others around you. *sayang* *hugs* Thanks for the cards and everything that you do.

Chee Yuan: Thanks for helping the Cell Group to book seats faithfully regardless of rain and shine. Thanks for being the joker in the cell group to brighten our day. You've grown from a shy and quiet(man-of-few-words) boy into a happy-go-lucky young man. Thank you for playing the guitar for the Cell group. Cheers! :D

Katherine: Thanks for your composed songs and your cards. The reason why I smiled every time I see you because you make me feel very happy and you have this joy within you that spreads to the whole cell group(I hope it's a good thing, yes?) You're cute and bubbly that everyone feels good to have you around. Thank you for the things that you've done for me and it's really great knowing you. *hugs*

Jaslyn: Thank you for Derek's and your help in helping me to look for a job but sorry that it didn't turn out well. But I still appreciate your effort and I still owe you one for that. Thanks for being there to hear my complains(ahhh..so sorry) and sorry if I had cause any hurt to you in the past. Take care and I love you with the love of Christ! *Hugs*

Jacqueline: Sorry for the times that I've made you upset about your friends. I thank you for your forgiveness. Sorry to hear that your asthma condition has returned. I'll still continue to pray for your health and hope that it'll heal soon. Also thank you for your encouragements for the past year. I'm sorry for what I did and I thank you for your love. Take good care of your health and wish you a speedy recovery *Hugs*

Mike: Congratulations on your rapping competition! The superstar of E376! WooHoo! For some reason, I couldn't be there to support your every competition, but I'll still cheer for you all the way! You have made all of us proud! Continue to shine for the Lord and All the best in everything you do.

Eric: Thanks for sharing your sweets with me. Although the first few times I really find you irrating but I still thank you for your forgiveness. Thanks for your friendship and looking out for YenHao during "that time"(if you still remember when). I am amazed that you manage to read the whole bible(although I didn't know how you do it). Continue to serve the Lord and all the best in your army life! Take care!

JingXian: Thanks for playing for the cell group and although I didn't talk to you much from W117 until now, but I can see that you've grown stronger for the Lord. Sorry if I had cause any trouble for you during these few years. Take good care and best of luck in your police force!(and nursing course)

Samuel: ZhiZhi!(No la...actually cannot call you that anymore cos HuiYi will beat me :P) Thanks for being part of my life as my Brother-in-Christ. Though we never talk much but I'm glad that you take care of HuiYi well(except for the times you make her cry). I pray for both of your love will continue to grow strong for each other regardless of what people say. Actually I was confuse, surprise but overall, Happy that both of you are together. The path for the both of you is tough during the inital stages but both HuiYi and you had overcome it. I hope that you all will learn to appreciate and treasure each other in the coming years ahead. I wish you all the best in your Navy life and pray that both of your love will grow stronger each day.

Dicky: Thanks for being part of our cell group. I know that you're shy and maybe an introvert but I hope that as times passes by, we could get to know you better and that you could slowly open up to us. Continue to pray and seek the Lord and He will bless you in return. Take care!

YenHao(BaoBei): Thanks for being there for me for the past 1 year and 1 month. Sorry to make you upset and worried for me all these time. I know that you've tried very hard giving in to me. I thank you for your love, patience and tolerant towards me and thank you for your acceptance. Happy Anniversary! Thank you for lighting up my life and thank you for your cooking. I love you always *Muacks* *hughug*

Charles: Thanks for being part of the cell group and bring happiness and laughter to all of us. Continue to pray and seek the Lord and I pray that everything went well in your life. Take care! See you around!

WenTing: Thank you for your prayers and your sharing. Congratulations for your promotion in your usher ministry! Continue to grow in the Lord and good luck in everything you do!

That's all for now...I think? If I had left any of you out, I'm sorry but still I thank you for everything that you've done in my life. I am glad that 2007 had ended in a good way for me. Happy 2008 everyone! Take care and have a blessed New Year!

Merry Christmas? Lame!!!

Went to Mike's house for Christmas celebration yesterday. His house was very nice! But then the journey to his house is not-so-nice lah. I find it a tinnie winnie bit troublesome. Bought last minute gift there cos BaoBei told me at the last minute,"Later there's gift exchange leh". I was like,"Huh?! You never tell me earlier?!" In the end we just grab anything that can be a present from a store and ask the sales person to wrap quickly and rush off. Seriously speaking, the shopkeeper doesn't really serve us well.

BaoBei was cooking in Mike's kitchen the whole day. Stephanie called my BaoBei,"Ah Lao!!!???"(Meaning "Husband" in certain dialects") Humph! I really like Mike's house! He seems to have everything. After that we played a game that requires to memorize each other's name. All along, I have a very bad memory. But on that day, surprisingly, I could remember almost all the new friend's names! Junwei tried to scare me when the "blanket" being pull down to reveal who's opposite me. We have to shout the name of the person in order to score. He "Booed" at me trying to scare me while I point at him and shout,"Junwei!" almost immediately. Haha! In the end my team won! I wasn't even being scare by him at all. Probably because I told myself to keep calm throughout the game. Cos if you get too excited or panic during the game, chances of you forgetting the new friends names are very high. Tell you a secret: The reason why I can remember Junwei's name, is because he has the same name as one of my ex-boyfriend. Just that my ex's name was "Jing(1) Wei(3)"

We also played gift exchange game. I find the game quite interesting. We have to pass right/left according to the storyline. I got a stationery, which I don't think I have any use of it. Mike then send BaoBei and me to the MRT station and I bid them goodbye before going home. Had a really joyful day!

Peace be with you :)

Went for Christmas service yesterday and the queue for the day was very long o.O!!! Okay..Lorraine did warn us to come early to queue up but I overslept and only reach there about 4pm. Went to grab something to eat cos I feel that since the queue is sooooo long, it's really useless to queue cos it'll be a very long time before I could get in. BaoBei's friends fly him aeroplane the last minute(Sorry for the singlish), if you know what I mean. But luckily, by God's miracle, we could get into the service in the end without queuing up :P but we almost couldn't get the seats to sit with our CGMs cos the ushers that day, fought the seats with us really badly! To Lorraine, HuiYi, Samuel, Chee Yuan, Mike, Eric and the rest who came early to book seats for us, Thank you for the effort and sorry that we came late >.<

When the service starts, we were very engross in the show. Every year, the Christmas show would be very different. But in the end, it talks about the same purpose. Pastor then talks about peace. If you don't have peace in your life, everything you do it would be of no use. After service, we went to central, initially to fellowship but BaoBei says it's very late and we need to get home. Went to grab pizza to eat and the service crew there are quite friendly. BaoBei even manage to talk to the Manager casually. Haha!

Went back home to rest. Had a good day that day.

Drift apart....

Went to BaoBei's place yesterday and was suppose to watch movie with his cousins today. He said that I woke him up at 4am while I was talking in my sleep?! I didn't even know?! As his cousins occupy all the mattress, I had to squeeze one bed with BaoBei(very difficult to sleep!) but he tried to make me sleep comfortably by positioning his arms to let me sleep(aww..so sweet)

BaoBei wake me up early in the morning to ask me to buy breakfast together with him. After having breakfast, I went to take a nap for a while. When he wake me up the 2nd time, all of his cousins were not home and went out visiting. I then shout at him and we quarrel over the movie thingy. Who is the one who claims that we are watching movie with his cousin?! Some of my friends knows that I am on curfew set by him!!!(Must reach home by 10pm*angry face*) He then set another rule: Not to shout at him. Who is the one who said to see which movie his cousin choose huh?! I know he's the one paying for it but then I request to see the "Red line" movie!!! In the end, ALL of his cousin went out themselves!!! WHAT IS THIS!? Then blame me for not waking up!!!

Went to watch a love movie near his home. The movie was quite funny and ridiculous. The title is,"Good luck Chuck". It's about a guy, who's very unlucky in love life. When he was in his Teens, he played a game called "Spin the bottle" with his schoolmates. The game works in an interesting way, where opposite sex are sit right across from each other. The game goes like this: If a male/female spins the bottle, whoever the bottle points it at, the couple has to go to a wardrobe, supposedly to make-out(or to do "things-kids-shouldn't-do" in the wardrobe) for a few minutes. When it's the male lead's turn to spin, the bottle points it at a Gothic girl(That girl gives me the creeps). She dressed in all black, even her lipstick is black!!! They went into the wardrobe and the girl tried very hard to kiss the male lead, but he push her away. She then curse him in front of everyone saying,"Every girl that you've met, will fall in love for the next guy after you!!!" She tore a piece of the male lead's hair and went up the stairs, shocking everyone. That was in year 1985.

Years later when the male lead grows up, he gets dump by girls and strangely enough, all the girls who had been with him before, married the next guy they have met after him. Since then, word of mouth spread and girls starts flocking to him to sleep with him in order to find their next true love. All of the girls who had slept with him, eventually got married to the next guy after him. There is this girl who he met, he loved her very much. But because he knows his own problem, he dare not slept with this girl. Until a friend put him to a test...His friend find a very huge size, bad odour girl, to put it to the test. Cos no man with the right mind on earth, would ever love that kinda girl. So his friend challenge the male actor to sleep with the girl. He paid the fat girl just to sleep with her to see if the girl could have a boyfriend of her own. He was happy at first cos his friend proof to him that the girl was still single after the test. But..after the male lead sleep with the girl-of-his-dreams, he saw on the television that even the fat girl has a boyfriend!!! He was so freak out that he became over-protective of the girl. In the end, he almost risk losing the girl because of his weird attitude. But the ending of the movie is very good. Eventually he got married, to the girl of his dreams.

Went for dinner with his family after that and his eldest brother send me home. Feeling myself drifting apart from BaoBei emotionally...

Vivi, don't cry...(entry of Dog)

Woke up on Sunday morning to bring Vivi to see doctor. She hasn't been eating nor drinking for the past 2 days that I am with BaoBei. BaoBei's Mum said that Vivi hasn't even poo poo(if you know what I mean) for 3 days. She grew more weak and old each week I see her. Nowadays she doesn't even bark at me anymore. She used to walk very slowly but nowadays she just lie either on the newspaper or on the floor and doesn't even move at all. BaoBei said when he used to move Vivi's "basket", she would crawl away but nowadays she just lie down there and stare at BaoBei. She did tried to get up to crawl but she has no more energy to do so.

Bring Vivi to see a Vet. On the way to the doctor, Vivi shivers quite a lot. BaoBei said she is scared of doctors and medications. I could finally touch Vivi for the first time! We waited quite long for a doctor to see her. While waiting, Vivi cried and BaoBei "sayang" her. I accompanied BaoBei into the vet and the doctor check on her. Vivi bark very fiercely at the doctor and almost bite the doctor's hand. The doctor tried to put on a mask for Vivi but Vivi struggle very violently and refuse to put on the mask. The doctor then talk Vivi into wearing the mask. When the doctor finally put the mask onto Vivi's mouth, Vivi still stare angrily at the doctor. Vivi growl in pain when the doctor touches some parts of Vivi's body. The doctor console Vivi and said she's a brave girl(Yes, Vivi is a female dog). I cried when I see Vivi in pain while BaoBei shows no emotions(Mei liang xin!). Vivi was then taken to screen for X-ray. While she was screening, I accidentally saw a doctor doing operation on a cat. The kind of operation when a human goes through Accident&Emergency operation. I only saw the cat lying face up and the doctor is operating the cat's organs. The cat's eyes was shut but the mouth was wide open(So gross!)

Wait outside for Vivi and chat with BaoBei's sister-in-law and eldest Brother. There a parrot nearby but it scold BaoBei's sister-in-law,"Stupid". It only know how to say,"How are you?, Stupid" and whistle. The wings of the parrot are broken quite badly. His sister-in-law then teach the parrot to say,"Mei nu"(Pretty woman) but the parrot keep saying,"Ben dan"(Stupid) instead. At some points, I thought I heard the parrot said something in Hokkien but couldn't make it out. It then repeat again and this time I heard it said,"Cha Ba Buay?"(Have you eaten?) in hokkien! O.O!!! Saw a very big Golden retriver and it weigh 41 kgs!!! Surprisingly, the vet has a lot of dogs patients that day. I even saw someone bringing a small hamster to the vet.

When Vivi came out, the doctor prescribe her 2 tablets(I wonder how is she gonna eat it?) and the X-ray shows that Vivi's backbone has press hard against her body that made her legs feel "heavy". That is the reason Vivi has difficulty to crawl around. Went home with Vivi and BaoBei position her in a way that it cushions her backbone. Went to sleep and rush home later in the night. Poor Vivi...BaoBei even said that if it has no choice, he will have to put Vivi to sleep than let her suffer in this way. So cruel!!! I think I will miss Vivi barking at me...

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

Emotional healing?

Work was quite stabilize in a little. At least I know what to do and what they expect from me. For the very first time, my Manager praise me for my work. He said that my performance is not bad on Thursday and Friday. Actually he did praise me here and there but also criticise me for my work if I am slow or didn't do well. Though the pay is low, one thing I like about this job is that the colleagues there are all generally very nice and helpful. They are more humble than my previous idiot job! At least whenever they are wrong, they are not afraid to say,"I'm sorry" or "Sorry for.." Not like that Botak!!! Even he finds out he is in the wrong, he WON'T say sorry. He just keeps quiet and act like nothing happen!

Couldn't get along well with BaoBei's Mum and just today, she keep nagging at me to keep the room clean. She then said something which embarrass me. One thing I don't understand is that, we have already pass 21 years of age and why is she still controlling BaoBei? My Mum said to me when I was 18,"After you have reach 21, I won't care about you anymore. You are on your own. Cos by then, you are an adult. But I hope that before you do anything, you would be more responsible towards yourself and your life. How late you stay outside(even until the wee hours of the morning), I don't care. But please take care of your own safety and yourself". BaoBei's Mum is very different. She said as long we are not back home by 11pm, she would lock the door. I don't know what she take us as? I am very tired about all these things. Maybe different family has different upbringing but...as long as a kid has reach 21, he or she is consider as a adult and should be given the freedom to choose his/her path.

I no longer know what I want. BaoBei is no longer the same person that I used to know. I know people does change and I have to accept the fact. There are sometimes that I wish to look for another guy but it's just thinking. Cos I know that I won't. BaoBei needs physical love while I need emotional love. I had learnt that in marriage course but somehow, I had forgotten most of the lesson said in the book.

Until now, there are certain times I asked myself,"What do I live for?" I no longer know. People are starting to be more and more deceiving. Some people can either put a smile to you and then stab you at the back(which I have already learn in MOM), or they just like to act(as if they are an actress) in front of you. Friends who used to be close, can slowly been drift apart by circumstance. Just like Esther's group of friends. We used to be close and meet at Clarke Quay to hang out till wee hours of the morning. No matter how busy or pack our schedules are, we will try to make it for each other's birthday parties. But lately, everything has changed. We are no longer as close as before as we have our own commitments. A few of us even MIA from the group. Most of my friends have either married or having children of their own(Mind you, they are either my age or even younger!) As for me, I do not know whether or not should I ever get married?

Friends really do come and go. No matter how hard we tried to stay together, this fact remains unchanged. I think I will end here for now. Will blog again if I have the time.

Paul's Birthday + Service = Happy!!!

Went for service yesterday and it was awesome! Saw Yanglin on the way to service and greet her. But what she said to me in her conversation, make me very upset that I have no mood to concentrate on service. She ask a lot of stupid questions about BaoBei and me. That time, Baobei wasn't with me cos he went to withdraw money. She heard that BaoBei and me are getting engaged. But it wasn't true. But we had paid deposit for our future wedding preparation. She then said,"Why don't you consider other guys? Is YenHao really the one for you?" Such words do hurt me alot!!! She continue on saying that YenHao is not financially stable yet as he is still serving the nation and she ask me to look for a guy who would provide me with both financial security and a future. I was very angry but I manage to keep my cool(I don't know why I can still keep my cool despite YenHao being criticize by others!!! Juliet!!! Le siao huh?!) I tried to defend and protect BaoBei by saying that because he is still serving the nation, so I would wait for him to finish his NS and wait for him to get a hotel/restaurant job. Because I was angry at her words, I then tried to defend BaoBei by saying that,"Sorry, but I feel that YenHao is the one for me. I won't consider other guys as YenHao is already good enough for me". Half of me felt like slapping her face!!! I really don't know why I can still keep my cool this way. JULIET!!!! WAKE UP!!! YOUR BAOBEI BEING SAY BY OTHERS AND YOU DO NOTHING!!!!?? IDIOT YOU!!!!! I know I work long hours in my job and the pay really sucks. When I told Yanglin, she comment that I work in a slave job. She ask me why I didn't ask Bro.Khai and Lorraine to help me look for job? THEY DID OKAY!? Just that I prefer to look for job in my own source can?! She then wish me luck. She said if I were to stay with BaoBei and he's financially not stabilize yet, I might suffer in future. Thanks Miss!!! I already know that I would suffer in terms of financial. If I really mind BaoBei's financial status, I would have leave him long ago!!! Why didn't I leave him leh?! In case you didn't know, let me tell you this: I won't leave YenHao!!! Unless he did something that I totally cannot forgive him for it. Other than that, we will try to work things out with each other! Thanks for your sympathize concern!!!

We Met Anthea's Mum and was very nervous. Finally a few of the members agreed to fellowship at Bugis! Yeah! Finally!!! Fellow shipping at the west! Yes! Cos usually we went to the East to fellowship and seriously speaking, I always mumbered to myself,"Why everything must go east? Why they cannot go west?" Then they will stay at the east until quite late and we have almost no transport home. Went to Bugis Junction to have dinner. I walk round and round the food stalls at food junction but I do not know what to eat. Finally settle down at a Kway Teow stall.

Went to meet HuiYi to lead her to join us at CG. She was crying on her way to fellowship. She said she need a hug and I did hug her for awhile. Sorry lah...Juliet don't know how to comfort people. I am not good in words and don't know what to say to cheer her up. Heard that she quarrel with Samuel again and this time it seems serious. I told her what Jane and Stephanie said during our way here about her relationship. Of course as friends, we would like to see her happiness with the one she love. But Jane said that logically speaking, she didn't think Samuel and her would last long as they often argue over petty things and HuiYi is the "princess" type of girl that needs a lot of love and pampering from her boyfriend. While her boyfriend is very immature and don't understand her needs and needs pampering too. She said she's afraid if one day when Samuel's mentality is in more matured state, he might abandon HuiYi. Stephanie said that she finds Samuel too sensitive. But as for me, I feel that they are generally very loving couple. Just that every time when they quarrel, HuiYi is the one who suffers the most and I do not know what to say or do to comfort her. I ask her to think through about her relationship. We, as friends could only do so much and could only said so much. Her happiness only lies on her own hands.

Went to Geylang to have steamboat with Paul. It's his birthday!!! Woo!!! Stephanie and Jane went to buy a cupcake to give him a birthday surprise. Paul talk about a lot of things and tension began to built up. Overall we were very happy. Jane and Stephanie then went off and we went home by Taxi. Had a very fun day yesterday.

Lorraine's preaching(Guilt) + Service = Release myself?

Rush for cell group as my work ends very late. I guess that I would reach by 9+pm but Lorraine said that it was not even 9 yet and I manage to make it for the word of God. Thank God! The sermon was about Guilt. I have been living with Guilt all my life so I felt that the sermon seems to be talking about me the whole time. It's true when Lorraine said that people who are living with Guilt, built their own personal prison in their hearts. That is what I am - in my own prison maybe for more than 5 years. Luckily, there's also ways to set our hearts free.

Went for service on Saturday and was very surprise to see Jayne coming back! We didn't talk much though. I felt that she has grown prettier. Went for fellowship with the CG and Lorraine ask why am I so quiet? I was listening to the members talking but I don't know what to talk? Cos I don't quite understand what is their discussion about?

Chat with Lorraine later at night and she talk to me a lot of things. I have misunderstood Anthea! Oh no! I was sad to hear that Anthea feared me since the day she step into the CG. Lorraine also told me that I could talk to her if I have anything. Not just BaoBei and HuiYi only. I was like,"*Grasp* Talk to you? But I am very scared". It's a kind of fear I don't know how to explain but luckily Lorraine knows what kinda fear I felt towards her. She ask me to learn to talk to her and also learn to control my temper :(

I was surprise that Anthea done so much things for the CG. Haha! Luckily she doesn't read my blog. There will be some changes in Church. I do not know if it's a good or bad change? But overall, I am quite happy with the Changes the Church have, except for the changes of the service timing. It will start earlier than usual *Sian* There will be services going on at both Expo and Jurong West! Yeh! But I wonder how will the service be like in future if the new building were to be built in the marketplace?

I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.