Emotional healing?

Work was quite stabilize in a little. At least I know what to do and what they expect from me. For the very first time, my Manager praise me for my work. He said that my performance is not bad on Thursday and Friday. Actually he did praise me here and there but also criticise me for my work if I am slow or didn't do well. Though the pay is low, one thing I like about this job is that the colleagues there are all generally very nice and helpful. They are more humble than my previous idiot job! At least whenever they are wrong, they are not afraid to say,"I'm sorry" or "Sorry for.." Not like that Botak!!! Even he finds out he is in the wrong, he WON'T say sorry. He just keeps quiet and act like nothing happen!

Couldn't get along well with BaoBei's Mum and just today, she keep nagging at me to keep the room clean. She then said something which embarrass me. One thing I don't understand is that, we have already pass 21 years of age and why is she still controlling BaoBei? My Mum said to me when I was 18,"After you have reach 21, I won't care about you anymore. You are on your own. Cos by then, you are an adult. But I hope that before you do anything, you would be more responsible towards yourself and your life. How late you stay outside(even until the wee hours of the morning), I don't care. But please take care of your own safety and yourself". BaoBei's Mum is very different. She said as long we are not back home by 11pm, she would lock the door. I don't know what she take us as? I am very tired about all these things. Maybe different family has different upbringing but...as long as a kid has reach 21, he or she is consider as a adult and should be given the freedom to choose his/her path.

I no longer know what I want. BaoBei is no longer the same person that I used to know. I know people does change and I have to accept the fact. There are sometimes that I wish to look for another guy but it's just thinking. Cos I know that I won't. BaoBei needs physical love while I need emotional love. I had learnt that in marriage course but somehow, I had forgotten most of the lesson said in the book.

Until now, there are certain times I asked myself,"What do I live for?" I no longer know. People are starting to be more and more deceiving. Some people can either put a smile to you and then stab you at the back(which I have already learn in MOM), or they just like to act(as if they are an actress) in front of you. Friends who used to be close, can slowly been drift apart by circumstance. Just like Esther's group of friends. We used to be close and meet at Clarke Quay to hang out till wee hours of the morning. No matter how busy or pack our schedules are, we will try to make it for each other's birthday parties. But lately, everything has changed. We are no longer as close as before as we have our own commitments. A few of us even MIA from the group. Most of my friends have either married or having children of their own(Mind you, they are either my age or even younger!) As for me, I do not know whether or not should I ever get married?

Friends really do come and go. No matter how hard we tried to stay together, this fact remains unchanged. I think I will end here for now. Will blog again if I have the time.