Hurt + Sadness = Should I give up?

Went for service in the morning. BaoBei made sandwiches for the CGMs. Was quite late for service so we decided to take a taxi there instead. I then ask BaoBei to run quickly to pass Chee Yuan his wrist band and pass the sandwiches to the CGMs. Saw Esther Leong among the crowds and BaoBei ask her to take a sandwich too but she decline. I heard that some people in the crowd even mistaken that the sandwiches was distribute by the church and ask some of it to be given to them.

We then re-join the CG as we got separated somehow. Only can have ourselves to be blamed. Who ask us to be so late right? HuiYi then ask me to follow her to the ladies. We then chat about last night's conference call and she mentions that certain points that Lorraine spoke to the CG, was actually referring to me. I then felt sad but...I don't know how to say or express my feelings. Anyway, I don't have the right to say anything. The love has died and there's no way I can get it back. Went back to our seats and I kept on crying. BaoBei saw it and ask what happened. I just kept quiet. Later, he was somehow affected by my own emotions.

On the stage, there were participants playing the games and it was fun watching them. I didn't manage to stay on till the end. Later, CG celebrate my belated birthday for me and I got the cake as my present. (-_-") (T_T)

There are some things that I have been thinking to myself on whether I should give up? Like example: My relationship(be it with BaoBei or with others), I felt pressured by certain things but I guess I can't do anything. There are just some things I can no longer do. HuiYi was very angry about my way of "Love" for BaoBei. This is also where I felt pressured, stress, frustrated and depress about. I don't know whether I should give up or to continue on? I really understand but empathise BaoBei on this as he's not holding a full time job. I myself can't even hold a stable job in the marketplace and I am very burden by this. Somehow or another, I felt financially burden and felt sad that people don't seems to understand. Prices of things are on the raise but our paycheck doesn't seems to raise(except for the government's) and then the stupid GST raise from 5% to 7%(who earns? The government!)

I think I will end here for now. So sorry for the sad entry.