BaoBei and me???

Went for Sunday service today but I was late cos early in the morning cos I had diarrhoea. Only slept for an hour yesterday. After service, I message Anthea where was she and after she told me her seat, I went out midway of the service(almost ending) to look at some books. A book titled,"The Power Of Forgiveness" caught my eye and I bought the book. I like the author! It was written by Joyce Mayer! I only read a bit and it talks about personal sins and your fruit in the beginning of the chapter. Yes, there will be times we will be hurt by the people around us but we must learn to forgive and let it go(something I find it hard to do). She says it's easier to let it go than to bear grudges against the person. Until now I still do not understand why. I seriously find it hard to forgive. In the beginning, it states,"Why we must forgive?" I read an interesting line,"Wounded emotions can become a prison that locks us into our pain and keeps others out. It's a bitter, resentful, angry prison cell, and forgiveness is the key that unlocks the door that holds us there. How long have you been there? Do you want to be free of it?" I am not God and I don't have such a big heart like His to forgive people easily. Saying it really easier than done.

Went for fellowship with my CGMs at Bedok. Talk to Lorraine about my job and she ask me to look for another one cos I told her that in my current company, it doesn't have benefits and neither does it have bonus. But I can't be changing jobs all the time! Maybe I'll see how things goes from now. Talk to HuiYi about BaoBei. I had shock her the other day when I told her that seriously I am thinking of changing boyfriend. I remember Jayne's words. She said,"Talk to him first lah. If you keep it to yourself and don't talk to him, how is he gonna know? If in the end, after you have talk things out with him and he either still remains unchange or don't care about how you feel, then at least you have tried your best. Don't say the "B" word so easily lah. You guys got together so hard and now you wanna let it go like that? Don't you find it pity?" The thing I don't understand BaoBei is that, why is it that when I give in to him a bit, he must take my words for granted?! I heard that the other day Paul help me talk to BaoBei how I feel(When your relationship needs a third party to help you to solve, it means that both parties are not able to solve the problems themselves! So pai seh can?!) But anyway, in the end I have talk to BaoBei directly myself. I told him only this,"I allow you to do certain things in front of your friends and don't said a word, is because you guys have ego(as what Lorraine shared to me some time ago). Yes I am angry but what can I do? Scold you in front of your friends? Cannot what! I can only keep quiet and wait till we are alone then tell you all these! Since you've broke your promise to me, I don't know what to say anymore." We argue here and there. Sometimes I am tired and I know he is tired about the way I treat him too.

HuiYi don't know what to do anymore. But she pray that our relationship will remain as strong. She can see that I am already very disappointed and she couldn't do anything. Thanks HuiYi..

Fellowship with the CGMs and they play some games that I don't really understand. Lorraine also make us laugh when she speaks in a funny way.

I think I will end here for now. Don't know what else to write anymore..