Money woes

Went for last minute meet-up with Esther and Da Lao Po! Didn't see them for a long time. Feeling very happy that I could finally see them. Finally cleared all the debts that I had owe Esther. Went to Long John Silver for dinner and went around for window shopping. Bought myself some T-shirts cos I threw away one of my T-shirt when it got stained. Will be meeting them today later in the night.

Went home and opened my mailbox and I was surprise to see my bill. But when I saw the amount, I was quite depress and wonder where am I going to get the money to pay for it? I then think of transport expenses, bills, food, entertainment and the wedding deposit. How am I going to save for the trip to Japan later this year? It seems very impossible and I feel like not going for it anymore, although half of me look forward for a holiday. I had think of ways to get more money but seriously, those thoughts, will either land me in Jail(if I ever get caught) or I will suffer from serious depression and end my life(I am already on the Verge of doing so)

Luckily(or unluckily) for me, New Year is around the corner so it only means that I am getting Ang Baos. But then I can roughly predict that this year my Ang Bao money will be much lower cos of the rising in prices. I finally understand basic Teochew through BaoBei's Mum. Nope! She never teach me any. Just that I am so used to stick to what I know, English and Chinese, that I don't know any other dialects. Until one day that I thought I overheard her saying something bad about me in her dialect. Just that I couldn't make out what she was saying. I tried to get Esther to translate for me but she need to know what exactly BaoBei's Mum is talking about, in order to translate to me. As time goes by, I pick up lines from here and there(I myself also don't know how I manage to learn Teochew) I will roughly know what she is talking about. She knows that I don't understand any dialects. So she will openly talk bad about me in front of BaoBei. I used to genuinely don't know what she is talking about. But as time goes by, I can understand better. The other day, she was complaining to BaoBei that where on earth a girl doesn't know how to do housework?! Anything also don't know! What's the use of being a girl!? I UNDERSTAND what she is talking about! Just that I don't know how to reply in Teochew! Cos why? BaoBei need to iron his "Marks-man" to his uniform and I overheard his Mum saying,"Why can't she(meaning me) do it for you?" When BaoBei replied that I don't know how to do housework, THAT IS WHAT she replied! Seriously, I feel like going out and scold her! Not only that! She also said,"Her mother never teach her is it?!" This is why I feel like slapping her! If you wanna scold me, I respect you as an elder so I cannot say anything but PLEASE DON'T DRAG MY PARENTS IN!!! HAVE SOME BASIC RESPECT FOR MY PARENTS!!! SO WHAT IF YOU ARE OLDER THAN MY PARENTS?! IT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU CAN HAVE THE "PRIVILEGE" TO INSULT MY PARENTS!!!!

I can do nothing but to only cry! What can I do? BaoBei didn't stand up for me either. He just replied to her,"I like what she is!" Perhaps he doesn't know how. On New Year eve, I really don't wish to go to BaoBei's house to have reunion dinner! But then if I don't go, I feel that it's very bad luck(but then again, I am not part of his family - yet!) One thing is for certain. If I didn't say anything when you scold me and continue to endure, there will come a day where I cannot endure any longer and will just burst in front of you! Things will only get uglier by then. Ren yi shi feng ping lang jing. Tui Yi shi hai kuo tian kong! But sadly, THIS DOESN'T APPLY TO ME!!! If that ever happen, I think BaoBei will leave no choice but to choose either ONE of us!

I will end here for now. Couldn't sleep at all cos I have block nose. Tomorrow's going to be a long long day for me.