Sunday, January 21, 2007

Cultural Mandate 3

Been thinking about what Pastor said on Saturday sermon. Maybe there are indeed some of us are not called to do church work. Pastor then ask us to use our talents to shine for the Glory of God. I was thinking,"What's my talent?" Cos I don't think I have any. I suddenly remember a verse about talents, where God gave each man different numbers of talent. One of them buried it into the ground and God was very angry. The problem is, I did not bury it! What if I really don't know what is my talent? Or maybe...worst, I had forgotten what is my talent? Don't ask me what is my strength cos I don't have any(or at least I think so). My weakness I have a lot.

Pastor wants us to use our talents to work and excel in the marketplace. From the beginning when Pastor spoke about this, until the end of it, I still could not answer my own question. BaoBei says my talent is...I have a great listening ear. Am I? That is not a talent! Maybe I'll never know what's my talent. Or maybe I really don't have any talents at all. Just a simple plain me. I was very surprise and astonish that the JAMS ministry can spell those difficult words that I myself couldn't have spell it out! I like the guy who plays the piano!!! He plays it very well!!! Anyone know how to play that song that he played? Can anyone teach me? Haha! That piano piece is nice!

Ended friendship with Ivan. He end it first but anyway, somehow I am happy that our friendship ended. Strange right? People cry over lost friendship but yet I am happy over it. Maybe it's because I treat him like how I treat Vincent. He really sucks sometimes! Now I am worried about Esther. I really don't wish to see her getting hurt. I think she has forgotten the encouraging words she used to tell me when I am down. Now when I tell her the exact same words back, I ask her,"Do you find it familiar? Who said these to me before"? She just keep quiet.

Initially wanted to go down to meet Ivan(perhaps to beat him up). Was shouting over the phone with him. While I was on my way down, Esther called me to plead me not to go down. I feel that she is going to cry any moment that kind. I understand her difficulty. She says,"One is my friend, the other is my lover. What do you want me to do? I don't want any of you to get hurt" She then said that Ivan also agree with her for me not to go down. I then called with him to have another "shouting match". I ask him a question and AGAIN, he likes to change topic! Why huh?! Cannot answer my question is it? Must talk other topic huh?! I then ask him,"Oei!! ** ***!!! I ask you one last time!!! Do you want me to come down!? Esther called to plead me! So I want an answer from you! YES OR NO?!" After again, saying some nonsense which I don't know what the hell is he talking about, he finally said,"No! I don't wish to see you ever again!" I then said,"Okay fine!" and hang up.

BaoBei then called me and ask where am I going? I said,"Home". He then said,"Oh ya? Then why did I receive an information that you are going to Queenstown? To do what? Meet who?"(why do I have the feeling that he started to sound more and more like Bro?) I then left speechless for a while. I thought it was Esther SMSing him to inform him that I went to meet Ivan. I then ask,"Who told you huh?". He seems a bit annoyed and said,"Ivan SMS me that you are going to Queenstown to meet him. For what huh? I told you before to let them settle it themselves right? Can you please don't make me worry?" At this point of time, I cried. Then the guy beside me in bus was kinda shock. He then continue to say things to made me cry further. Not scolding, not whatever. But...just normal talking using normal tone but I don't know why, somehow BaoBei is able to make me cry like that. The only person I know that can make me cry using only normal tone and even talking about things normally, is only Bro. Then nowadays BaoBei is also began to lift his hands to worship God. Something that I had not seen him done before when he first came back to church by HuiYi. It's a good sign lah. He has also since grow much more spiritually stronger than me.

Was thinking whether to work in F&B line? Cos it will meant that I definitely won't get to go to church cos I won't be able to get off on weekends. I will see how things goes. Maybe I do not fully understand what is Pastor trying to say? I think I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

No comments: