Tuesday, May 30, 2006

When will the end time comes? I'm looking forward to it..meaningless life...

These few days I got insult mails in my friendster account. It was from one of my ex-bf. Really very sad about it. I think it was partly my fault. After he insult me, I felt very down. I know there will be people asking,"Why take his insult so seriously? Just ignore him lah"sorry but I can't cos since this incident partly my fault, I have nothing to say. First time kena insult till no dignity. Anyway, after I read the insults, I think through it alot. Thinking of what I had done in the past. I remembered last week Pastor said that we can have a choice of whether to choose to build a wall between others or choose to welcome them with open arms, I think I had made my decision now - to build walls between others. I know this might sound very sad but sorry. I have stated in my previous blog that I can no longer trust. Stupidity has it's price after all.

Luckily for the first half of the day, I have nothing to do so I can cry out in the office. Cos I had finish my work and email my supervisor the workload. I then went to her to ask if there is anything she wants me to do? She look at me and said the new batch of files had not been ready yet so I can rest temporary if I want to. I then sat down and think through alot of things.

I wasn't very happy with my birthday yesterday. Cos someone didn't treat the day with respect...or maybe I didn't deserve it? Purposely came late and can walk somemore! After she then went to window shopping dragging one of my friend along! Anyway very angry for almost the whole day. At night when I went to Cineleisure to celebrate my birthday, on the way there, I keep calling that stupid idiot "princess" upteen times but she never pick up my call. She only said she will be there late but don't know how late? After that, when JiaXin called her, she said she don't wanna come cos she don't have mood to come! KNS! WTF! I called her and she don't wanna pick up my call! And when Jia Xin called her, she then pick up the call to tell her that she has no mood to come!? Don't know how to tell me on the phone when I called is it?! Don't know how to pick up my call is it?! Don't know how to say already! I said before, if you all don't have the heart to celebrate with me then don't celebrate!!! WO BU XI HAN! 21st birthday only mah! JUST TREAT IT AS I AM DEAD AND BURN JOSS STICKS AND HELL MONEY FOR ME CAN LE!!! But still I appreciate for the friends who really help me celebrated my birthday. Sheryln, Esther, Lynn, Vincent Korkor and Jia Xin..THANKS ALOT! I appreciate it :) Especially Jia Xin, took a lot of effort to help me organize the birthday. Initally I told her I am not celebrating..but she persuade me to celebrate.

Received some presents from my friends. They gave me a stack of voucher worth $140. Wow! $140! They said that I could use it to buy office clothing. Thanks alot guyz! Vincent korkor gave me a hp holder..cos he said that he think that's what I need. Hmm..can use it to rest my hp when its not in use. Really like it alot! Thanks Kor! Very kawaii ne!

Yesterday night saw Alphonsus Korkor online. Very surprise to see him. But he ask me alot of strange questions. Kor! You are getting married soon leh! Why say these kinda things to me?! I do not know what was he thinking in his mind. Suddenly rake up the past to talk to me. Or maybe he don't know what to say bah? I wonder what happen between him and Da sao? I hope nothing happens? Actually he started to speak very strangely to me even before Da sao entered his life. There's certain things in the past that he told me, I don't even remember. When I told him certain things he used to do in the past, he too, didn't remember. Haiz..what's wrong? He then showed me his recent photo..I was surprise that he gained alot of weight since the very last time I saw him. Hmm..okay lah..it's been quite a long time since I last saw him, so..it's not surprise that he has gain so much weight.

After that went back to work when the new files arrive. Why this batch have alot of back-logs?! I hate back-logs! After that I accompany Jia Xin to go for shopping and bought a flask. Until now I still don't know where is the Pantreen? Cos nobody told me. When I ask, they said,"You go look for it yourself lah!" Actually I don't know there's a pantreen until a colleague told me that I could bring my own cup and boil coffee/milo inside the pantreen. But...Where is the pantreen!? From the day I step into the company until now I still don't know where is the pantreen lor.

I think I shall end here for now. Will blog again next time.

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