Slept only 3 hours last night. Went home quite late after Andrew's birthday. He said that I am anti-social cos I sit by myself alone and didn't talk to any of his friends and family. But..it is the very first time I met his friends and they are all those "Ah Lians" and "Ah Bengs" type lor! I then notice that all his friends, including him and his girlfriend, were all wearing Black for that day. I wonder is it a dress code for them? I dare not talk to them as they seem very unfriendly and vulgar. If I am still in my secondary school daze, I would have mix with these kinda people. Cos I don't see anything wrong with it..during that time, the "me" was thinking,"We are all humans mah! Just that we are a bit rough and vulgar that's all". But somehow as I grew up, that part of my thinking changed. Especially some awful incidents happened to me when I mix with those kinda people years ago. I will always and forever remember a particular incident, where the "friend" that said she will protect me if anything were to happened to me, and beat up those who wanted to bully me then. But in the end when it really happens, look who's the one who runs away and left me behind FIRST?! That time, I was thinking,"Wah Piang eh! Ah ni kuan eh sister?! KNS lah! Ki Si lah!"(Ki Si as in Go and die..not angry). Saying what Loyalty! The way they behave makes me think alot of my past. A past that I don't wish to go back. Although I didn't paid too high a price for it, I seen people getting killed in Gang crush or fights, but still it is enough for me to turn my head away from these people. I was an extreme attention seeker then but in the end I paid a heavy price for that attention seeking and I had regretted since then. They said,"A moment of folly, a lifetime of regret" I am in one of these category. So if you feel that I am very "lian" in my language. I do hope you'll forgive me. It's very hard for me to change and it has become part of my character.
We then help Andrew to celebrate and cut the cake. I didn't take any pictures though he invite me to take with him. Don't want lah! I hate taking photographs actually cos I always look v.ugly in them. His friends most come in motorbikes. Their bikes are very cool! The ones which I long to ride on. I then sit at a corner and admiring their bikes. How I wish I could have a ride on the motorbike just once in my lifetime. His birthday celebration is Buffet type. I only eat a little and Andrew complain,"Why take so little? Take more lah! If not I go and take for you hor"I shake my head and reject his offer. I am starting to get sick of buffet style food. Maybe because recently I have been to too many friend's birthday and they uses the same style for celebration. Some times, when you go to your friends birthday party and they all uses the SAME type of celebration, you'll get sick of it. I was initially hoping that he will have a barberque but he said it is too expensive. Haiz...
At the end of the celebration, his friends all left and left a few of them. Andrew state beforehand not to sabotage him as he have no extra clothes. His family members, relatives and a few of his friends then use the remaining cake to sabotage Andrew. The way Andrew look with cake being smooch all over his face was very funny. I laugh and laugh and Andrew point at me saying,"Wah! Le Ho! Chio! Chio! Wait I smooch the cake on your face then you know"(Wah! You good! Laugh! Laugh! Wait I smooch the cake on your face then you know)I then bleh at him and he smile. His friend then challenge him to drink 22 glasses of red wine mix with other berverages. He said,"Wah Lao! 10 eh sai lah! 22 buay sai lah! Siao bo?"(Wah Lao! 10 can lah! 22 cannot lah! Siao bo?)He face turn very red after about 8 glasses of red wine and the remaining ones he ask his gf to drink it up for him. I was thinking,"KNS! Bo yong! Kio le eh bor lim"(KNS! Useless! Call your gf to drink for you). We had alot of fun although I keep watching them and didnt do anything. Reach home in the wee hours of the morning and took a quick nap before HuiYi called me to ask me to queue for service.
I tried taking bus no.14 to get there but it didnt seem to reach the place and in the end I got lost around Terah Merah area and took a train to kallang and walk all the way to the stadium. I still got lost on the way to the stadium cos the signs made me v.confusing. In the end, I took around 2 - 3 hours to get there.
This time, the queue was very long and it's NOT moving! Unlike the one I go for the Frestival of Praise, although the queue was long but at least it was moving. When I queued half-way, HuiYi ask me to pick Sandy. I said "Excuse me", the first time to a group of people surround me(I was near the exit)and they didn't move. I thought they didn't hear me so I said louder,"Excuse Me"then 1 of them saw me but still don't move and don't give way to me. I then got mad and thought,"KNS lah! Siam leh!"This time I was really angry and shout,"EXCUSE ME!"for the third time but still they don't give way! I then got fed up and elbowed them on the ribs on my way out. For my friends who used to hear me shout before, you should know how loud is my voice when I shout right? Imagine after I shout and they still didn't move, how do you think I feel? Feel like punching them on the face and step onto them! But I know I can't lah. I know I am in the wrong lah but who ask them to block my way and refuse to let me out? Don't know they deliberately block my way or what! I said "Excuse me" three times and each time I said, I said it louder and louder till heads are turning to look at me(so u can imagine how loud I shout)but still those idiots don't wanna give way! I hate it!
HuiYi and I then fetch Sandy to the service. This time, I was surprise that the Pastor said,"Sorry to say, now what you are seeing now, although it is FULL HOUSE here, it is only HALF of our church population. The remaining half are stuck outside of the stadium and can't come in"I was thinking,"Wow! Only half of our church members and it's already full house?!" I really cannot imagine what is the exact number of people in church. Heard that it is more than 20 000 people! Wow! 20 000! That's alot of people! The slide show then show us how CHC has grown over the past few years from 200 people to 2000 people till the current 20 000 people. The show where CHC was first built on. I then recongise the old Hollywood threater as that is exactly the place where I first get to know CHC then through some school mates. I miss those days where we jump while singing praises and you can hear the ground go,"Brom brom brom"each time we jump. Those old members of CHC or those who grew up with CHC long before me or with me during the same time of the year should know the feeling and amosphere during those times. I was scared that time that the upper landing of the building will collaspe anytime if we jump too hard and because my ex-CG(W99)was always station below the balcony so you can imagine how my heart beats whenever I sit together with them. After that we then move to the church at Boon Lay and my ex-CG was dismiss during that time. Anyway I was not affected cos I backslide even before they are dismissed due to some reasons which I cannot state here.
I then got to know HuiYi when I was working at Taka and she once mention to me she can't work on Saturday as she has service to attend. I was not so close to her then. I then ask her,"Are you from CHC?"I remembered her reaction was v.surprise and ask me,"How do you know?"I then smiled at her and I think I said,"I guess so"and I told her I used to be from that church. She then invite me to the Jurong West building and a part of me was glad that I am back. Then the rest is history.
The preaching was great and so does the performance. When the Breakdancers and especially B-boxing guys came in to B-box, I then look at JingXian for awhile before turning back to the show. Cos that was his favourite. Then...something made me cry after that. The Pastor then invite those kids who are a few months old and ask the church to lay hands on them and we said a prayer for their parents and the babies. When Pastor ask the parents to lift their babies up for us to see, I cried immediately when I see the babies(Don't ask me why I cry)HuiYi then comfort me by touching my hand and nod her head. But still I keep on crying and luckily she is the only one who notice it. My heart then weigh very heavily and I felt very low.
But my mood changes after some songs and I felt okay after the service. Wanted to attend the service at night but I am broke now. Transportation cost alot these days. I feel like buying a car but it will be very expensive. Furthermore, I have no licence to drive. After that, He(*Ahem!)then send HuiYi, Sandy and me to Wisma Atria by cab. HuiYi ask if I still had feelings for him? I told her that only a tinnie winnie bit(and I really mean very tinnie winnie bit cos I find myself liking girls more now)Please don't be shock okay? and don't give me that kinda look can or not? I am sorry..although yes God has healed my heart and healed me, but sorry to say, I can no longer trust guys anymore no matter what. I tend to doubt the words they say now. Unless there is really a miracle that somewhere out there, there is a guy who loves me with all his heart and accepts my past and could made me really fall in love again, or else, haha...you know?
We then help Andrew to celebrate and cut the cake. I didn't take any pictures though he invite me to take with him. Don't want lah! I hate taking photographs actually cos I always look v.ugly in them. His friends most come in motorbikes. Their bikes are very cool! The ones which I long to ride on. I then sit at a corner and admiring their bikes. How I wish I could have a ride on the motorbike just once in my lifetime. His birthday celebration is Buffet type. I only eat a little and Andrew complain,"Why take so little? Take more lah! If not I go and take for you hor"I shake my head and reject his offer. I am starting to get sick of buffet style food. Maybe because recently I have been to too many friend's birthday and they uses the same style for celebration. Some times, when you go to your friends birthday party and they all uses the SAME type of celebration, you'll get sick of it. I was initially hoping that he will have a barberque but he said it is too expensive. Haiz...
At the end of the celebration, his friends all left and left a few of them. Andrew state beforehand not to sabotage him as he have no extra clothes. His family members, relatives and a few of his friends then use the remaining cake to sabotage Andrew. The way Andrew look with cake being smooch all over his face was very funny. I laugh and laugh and Andrew point at me saying,"Wah! Le Ho! Chio! Chio! Wait I smooch the cake on your face then you know"(Wah! You good! Laugh! Laugh! Wait I smooch the cake on your face then you know)I then bleh at him and he smile. His friend then challenge him to drink 22 glasses of red wine mix with other berverages. He said,"Wah Lao! 10 eh sai lah! 22 buay sai lah! Siao bo?"(Wah Lao! 10 can lah! 22 cannot lah! Siao bo?)He face turn very red after about 8 glasses of red wine and the remaining ones he ask his gf to drink it up for him. I was thinking,"KNS! Bo yong! Kio le eh bor lim"(KNS! Useless! Call your gf to drink for you). We had alot of fun although I keep watching them and didnt do anything. Reach home in the wee hours of the morning and took a quick nap before HuiYi called me to ask me to queue for service.
I tried taking bus no.14 to get there but it didnt seem to reach the place and in the end I got lost around Terah Merah area and took a train to kallang and walk all the way to the stadium. I still got lost on the way to the stadium cos the signs made me v.confusing. In the end, I took around 2 - 3 hours to get there.
This time, the queue was very long and it's NOT moving! Unlike the one I go for the Frestival of Praise, although the queue was long but at least it was moving. When I queued half-way, HuiYi ask me to pick Sandy. I said "Excuse me", the first time to a group of people surround me(I was near the exit)and they didn't move. I thought they didn't hear me so I said louder,"Excuse Me"then 1 of them saw me but still don't move and don't give way to me. I then got mad and thought,"KNS lah! Siam leh!"This time I was really angry and shout,"EXCUSE ME!"for the third time but still they don't give way! I then got fed up and elbowed them on the ribs on my way out. For my friends who used to hear me shout before, you should know how loud is my voice when I shout right? Imagine after I shout and they still didn't move, how do you think I feel? Feel like punching them on the face and step onto them! But I know I can't lah. I know I am in the wrong lah but who ask them to block my way and refuse to let me out? Don't know they deliberately block my way or what! I said "Excuse me" three times and each time I said, I said it louder and louder till heads are turning to look at me(so u can imagine how loud I shout)but still those idiots don't wanna give way! I hate it!
HuiYi and I then fetch Sandy to the service. This time, I was surprise that the Pastor said,"Sorry to say, now what you are seeing now, although it is FULL HOUSE here, it is only HALF of our church population. The remaining half are stuck outside of the stadium and can't come in"I was thinking,"Wow! Only half of our church members and it's already full house?!" I really cannot imagine what is the exact number of people in church. Heard that it is more than 20 000 people! Wow! 20 000! That's alot of people! The slide show then show us how CHC has grown over the past few years from 200 people to 2000 people till the current 20 000 people. The show where CHC was first built on. I then recongise the old Hollywood threater as that is exactly the place where I first get to know CHC then through some school mates. I miss those days where we jump while singing praises and you can hear the ground go,"Brom brom brom"each time we jump. Those old members of CHC or those who grew up with CHC long before me or with me during the same time of the year should know the feeling and amosphere during those times. I was scared that time that the upper landing of the building will collaspe anytime if we jump too hard and because my ex-CG(W99)was always station below the balcony so you can imagine how my heart beats whenever I sit together with them. After that we then move to the church at Boon Lay and my ex-CG was dismiss during that time. Anyway I was not affected cos I backslide even before they are dismissed due to some reasons which I cannot state here.
I then got to know HuiYi when I was working at Taka and she once mention to me she can't work on Saturday as she has service to attend. I was not so close to her then. I then ask her,"Are you from CHC?"I remembered her reaction was v.surprise and ask me,"How do you know?"I then smiled at her and I think I said,"I guess so"and I told her I used to be from that church. She then invite me to the Jurong West building and a part of me was glad that I am back. Then the rest is history.
The preaching was great and so does the performance. When the Breakdancers and especially B-boxing guys came in to B-box, I then look at JingXian for awhile before turning back to the show. Cos that was his favourite. Then...something made me cry after that. The Pastor then invite those kids who are a few months old and ask the church to lay hands on them and we said a prayer for their parents and the babies. When Pastor ask the parents to lift their babies up for us to see, I cried immediately when I see the babies(Don't ask me why I cry)HuiYi then comfort me by touching my hand and nod her head. But still I keep on crying and luckily she is the only one who notice it. My heart then weigh very heavily and I felt very low.
But my mood changes after some songs and I felt okay after the service. Wanted to attend the service at night but I am broke now. Transportation cost alot these days. I feel like buying a car but it will be very expensive. Furthermore, I have no licence to drive. After that, He(*Ahem!)then send HuiYi, Sandy and me to Wisma Atria by cab. HuiYi ask if I still had feelings for him? I told her that only a tinnie winnie bit(and I really mean very tinnie winnie bit cos I find myself liking girls more now)Please don't be shock okay? and don't give me that kinda look can or not? I am sorry..although yes God has healed my heart and healed me, but sorry to say, I can no longer trust guys anymore no matter what. I tend to doubt the words they say now. Unless there is really a miracle that somewhere out there, there is a guy who loves me with all his heart and accepts my past and could made me really fall in love again, or else, haha...you know?
Getting very tired and my eyes are quite heavy. Going to sleep soon. Bye! Will blog again next time!
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