Whew! Finally complete my whole assignments le! Actually I complete it by doing OT(Which by the way, I am not paid for and am not allowed to claim). After that I saw my supervisor discuss something with my colleagues and I joined in.
She then shared with us the main reason why she don't like us doing OT. She knows that Ms.W and me are doing OT frequently and this has cause quite a concern to her. She then shared a tragic history of one of the employee of my department who has since passed away a few years ago due to work related stress. She said that the girl's behavior in the office is exactly like me. Don't like to talk much and always keep problems to herself. She also notice that the both of us(meaning Ms.W and me)are often staying up late just to finish up our work and she is not very happy with it. She said the reason is because she is very very scared that the history would repeat itself and she cried while she was saying this. It happened like this:
During the years when the girl is still working with the company and when she was still alive, by that time my supervisor report to work, she would see the girl already there, most likely before 7am. The girl is an introvert who keep things to herself. There are times my supervisor would go over to the girl's place & ask if everything is okay? The girl would smile and nod but my supervisor could tell that the girl was obviously stress up by her work. She didn't share with anyone about her problem and as time passes, the girl slowly got more and more depress due to the tight dateline and overload work that she has to complete. When my supervisor left at 9pm after her work, the girl is still at her desk clearing up her work. Often, she would say to the girl,"Hey, it's getting late. I think you should stop your work and go home". The girl would only nod and said,"Ya ya..go home. Go home". But her eyes are fix to the computer and to the pile up assignments that she has to complete. This happens frequently and everyday. The girl report to work at 6+am in the morning and only left the workplace either at 10+pm or 11+pm at night. Then on one day, the girl then finally said to a close colleague of hers saying that,"I cannot take it anymore! I wanna die!"The colleague just comfort her but did not do anything more because he thought that she is just say-say only and didn't mean it. But...Tragic struck...
The next day, when my supervisor report to work, she didn't see the girl on her desk. She was surprise but she thought that the girl might have taken MC and thus didn't report for work. When she returned home at night to watch the News, she then learnt that the girl had committed suicide just opposite the building of where we work at one of the HDB blocks. She apparently had jump down from the building and ended her life just like that. The news of her death was quickly spreading around the whole company. Even people from other departments got to learnt of her death. The Directors and Managers then called an emergency meeting and shortly after that, organize a lot of de-stress campaigns and programs and insist on all employees to attend and learn how to de-stress. My supervisor cried and said,"What's the use for organizing these type of campaigns after tragic has happened? Why didn't they spot something is not right with the girl? Don't tell me that NO ONE notice that she's been working so hard?"She said that sadly, a few weeks after her death, the company got another replacement and the girl was cleanly forgotten within a few weeks. But..although everyone else seems to forgot about the girl, my supervisor still remembered the girl. Especially after she see us working so late into the night just to finish our work and she mention that my type of behavior was exactly how the girl was like when she was still alive. Work and work and work way late into the night before calling it a day and seldom talk to my own colleagues and rush to complete my work. When I heard that, I felt guilty. Cos I really didn't mean to provoke her to dwell on the memories of the girl. After she said that and I recall the nights that I stay up to work, no one was with me in the office. I was always alone if I work past 7.45pm at night.(Cos I usually work until 9+pm or 10+pm at night if I were to work OT)now I know why no one stays up with me to work and they quickly rush off after 7.45pm. Erm..okay okay. Maybe it's just my imagination. Right? I then said a silent prayer for the girl's soul and pray that she'll find peace and joy in her afterlife.
I really wonder in what ways did I behave that provokes my supervisor's memory of the girl? Cos she said my behavior is exactly like the girl. Luckily I am on contract term. So I guess after I have completed my contract and after I leave, hopefully my supervisor won't be reminded of the girl. After that, my supervisor went back to her desk and do her work but I can see from her eyes that she is still crying. She blamed herself for not standing up to speak for the girl. She said if she did that during that time, maybe the girl won't have died. I don't know what to say to console her but I just pat her back. In my mind, I was thinking,"It's not your fault Mdm, It's not your fault".
On my way home, I was thinking maybe I should be more chatty at work? Since the girl is an introvert, I guess maybe by doing what is the opposite of the girl won't make my supervisor think so much. But haiz...I am really a woman-of-few-words and don't know how to console people. What else can I do to not make her think of the girl? Now then I realize that behind every beautiful history, lies a tragic story that only people who lived(or rather, work)there for all their lives, would know the true story behind it...
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