On Sunday afternoon, I meet up with Esther and Jia Xin for outing. I was late for about half-an-hour or so..cos went home to sleep for an hour before going to meet Esther. My eyes still very tired...keep wanting to shut. This is the result of not getting enough sleep.
When I finally met Esther we then went to walk around and finally met Jia Xin. We then window shop for awhile before eating at a restaurant. I sort of regretted bringing them there to eat later on cos Esther complained that the chicken chop was very hard and very difficult to cut. Haiz..okay okay. My fault. After we had finish our food, we then chat for a long while. Talking about someone. Thinking about it, it's quite confusing. One moment she did this and the other moment, after the things had happened(and it was what she wanted it to happen in the first place!)she was sulking and hating the people around her. I was thinking,"KNS lah! ***!(Vagular word) What the hell are you thinking man?! Isn't this what you wanted it to be happened in the first place?! Then now after it has happened and you sulk and hate JiaXin! Siao bo?!" We then talk about her "kindness" towards us as she had claims it. I then comment straight-forwardly to Esther and Jia Xin,"Seriously speaking hor, I don't know is it that I am hard-hearted or what lah. But I really CANNOT SEE the kindness that she had claimed that she had done towards me. Or maybe that I am what you all called,"Mei Liang Xing"." I then ask is it true that she had done things that help them or in the sense that she really sacrifice for our friendship as she had claim? Jia Xin said,"Erm..I think it's not only you who cannot see lor. If you called yourself "Mei Liang Xing" and cannot see the things that she had done hor, then I tell you seriously now that even I also cannot see the things that she claims that she had done for me lor" I was surprise that Jia Xin said that! Cos from the first time I knew her till now, she is more soft-hearted than me in alot of ways and she is very merciful and forgiving in lots of ways than me. Now that even Jia Xin thinks the same way about her like me, I really have nothing to say.
I then clarify something that I accidentally overheard her commenting about Jia Xin with Esther is it true that it is what I have heard? Or is it that I heard it wrongly? Infront of Jia Xin. Cos I really have nothing to hide. Why dare to comment her and don't dare to say it infront of her right? This is also what I want my friends to do to me. If you dare to comment about me behind my back, PLEASE have the guts to tell me straight in my face! Don't ever backstab me! If I found out that you backstab me, you'll be sorry and don't ever expect me to forgive you so easily if I were to find out!
Esther look at me stunned and said,"Ya. You heard it right. You didn't hear it wrongly. She did say that about Jia Xin". Esther said my ears are very sharp and ask how is it that I can hear it when we walk quite a distance from each other? I seriously don't know. I really thought that I heard it wrongly since she said it so softly. I really heard her saying something negatively about Jia Xin but I just want to double-confirm am I hearing wrongly? I said to Esther,"Or else why do you think I suddenly turn my head around and look at the both of you? Cos I heard her saying something about Jia Xin and I thought I had heard it wrongly since both of you are walking so far behind me" JiaXin then shook her head and said,"Nevermind lah. It's her mouth lah. She wanna say what she say lor".
I am very disappointed with her(that someone). Really disappointed. But at the same time I do not know how to comfort JiaXin. After we send Jia Xin off, I then walk around alittle with Esther and we then took a train back home.
Yesterday(Monday), I bought a new CD "Piano Spa 2" the songs inside are very nice and smoothing. Could calm the nerves down. I then chat with a guy called Alex in my msn. Initially I couldn't remember him and ask how did he get my email address to add me? He said he has change his email address and I was in his previous msn list so he just add me although he had no impression who am I? We then re-intro and I ask him is his previous msn address "WZ17..." He said yes. Oh! I remembered who is he le! :P He somehow remembered me but had no recollection of our previous chats. When I saw his photo in friendster, my heart was broken. It is not his looks that made my heart broke. It was his eyes. I then told him that his eyes look exactly like my first love's. The eyes that I would never ever forget in my life. That is the eyes what I meant by "Fierce look but with Gentleness within it". My first love's eyes was like his. Seldom have guys that I came across have the eyes of my ex.
After that, I don't know why suddenly we became very silent. I listened to the music CD that I had just bought while thinking about the memories he has left for me. I couldn't help but thinking how is his health right now? Where is he? Has he found his true happiness yet? His health is one of the reasons why I couldn't really let go of him in my mind. I keep on wondering how did he develop Asthma since he was quite healthy when he was with me? But I had something else to forcus on right now, Holy Spirit and her. Don't wish to have anything to do with guys for now. Maybe someday, I will learn to love all over again but that would be extremely difficult.
When I finally met Esther we then went to walk around and finally met Jia Xin. We then window shop for awhile before eating at a restaurant. I sort of regretted bringing them there to eat later on cos Esther complained that the chicken chop was very hard and very difficult to cut. Haiz..okay okay. My fault. After we had finish our food, we then chat for a long while. Talking about someone. Thinking about it, it's quite confusing. One moment she did this and the other moment, after the things had happened(and it was what she wanted it to happen in the first place!)she was sulking and hating the people around her. I was thinking,"KNS lah! ***!(Vagular word) What the hell are you thinking man?! Isn't this what you wanted it to be happened in the first place?! Then now after it has happened and you sulk and hate JiaXin! Siao bo?!" We then talk about her "kindness" towards us as she had claims it. I then comment straight-forwardly to Esther and Jia Xin,"Seriously speaking hor, I don't know is it that I am hard-hearted or what lah. But I really CANNOT SEE the kindness that she had claimed that she had done towards me. Or maybe that I am what you all called,"Mei Liang Xing"." I then ask is it true that she had done things that help them or in the sense that she really sacrifice for our friendship as she had claim? Jia Xin said,"Erm..I think it's not only you who cannot see lor. If you called yourself "Mei Liang Xing" and cannot see the things that she had done hor, then I tell you seriously now that even I also cannot see the things that she claims that she had done for me lor" I was surprise that Jia Xin said that! Cos from the first time I knew her till now, she is more soft-hearted than me in alot of ways and she is very merciful and forgiving in lots of ways than me. Now that even Jia Xin thinks the same way about her like me, I really have nothing to say.
I then clarify something that I accidentally overheard her commenting about Jia Xin with Esther is it true that it is what I have heard? Or is it that I heard it wrongly? Infront of Jia Xin. Cos I really have nothing to hide. Why dare to comment her and don't dare to say it infront of her right? This is also what I want my friends to do to me. If you dare to comment about me behind my back, PLEASE have the guts to tell me straight in my face! Don't ever backstab me! If I found out that you backstab me, you'll be sorry and don't ever expect me to forgive you so easily if I were to find out!
Esther look at me stunned and said,"Ya. You heard it right. You didn't hear it wrongly. She did say that about Jia Xin". Esther said my ears are very sharp and ask how is it that I can hear it when we walk quite a distance from each other? I seriously don't know. I really thought that I heard it wrongly since she said it so softly. I really heard her saying something negatively about Jia Xin but I just want to double-confirm am I hearing wrongly? I said to Esther,"Or else why do you think I suddenly turn my head around and look at the both of you? Cos I heard her saying something about Jia Xin and I thought I had heard it wrongly since both of you are walking so far behind me" JiaXin then shook her head and said,"Nevermind lah. It's her mouth lah. She wanna say what she say lor".
I am very disappointed with her(that someone). Really disappointed. But at the same time I do not know how to comfort JiaXin. After we send Jia Xin off, I then walk around alittle with Esther and we then took a train back home.
Yesterday(Monday), I bought a new CD "Piano Spa 2" the songs inside are very nice and smoothing. Could calm the nerves down. I then chat with a guy called Alex in my msn. Initially I couldn't remember him and ask how did he get my email address to add me? He said he has change his email address and I was in his previous msn list so he just add me although he had no impression who am I? We then re-intro and I ask him is his previous msn address "WZ17..." He said yes. Oh! I remembered who is he le! :P He somehow remembered me but had no recollection of our previous chats. When I saw his photo in friendster, my heart was broken. It is not his looks that made my heart broke. It was his eyes. I then told him that his eyes look exactly like my first love's. The eyes that I would never ever forget in my life. That is the eyes what I meant by "Fierce look but with Gentleness within it". My first love's eyes was like his. Seldom have guys that I came across have the eyes of my ex.
After that, I don't know why suddenly we became very silent. I listened to the music CD that I had just bought while thinking about the memories he has left for me. I couldn't help but thinking how is his health right now? Where is he? Has he found his true happiness yet? His health is one of the reasons why I couldn't really let go of him in my mind. I keep on wondering how did he develop Asthma since he was quite healthy when he was with me? But I had something else to forcus on right now, Holy Spirit and her. Don't wish to have anything to do with guys for now. Maybe someday, I will learn to love all over again but that would be extremely difficult.
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