Monday, February 05, 2007

HuiYi's Care

Slack at home for the whole day today cos it's my off day. Went to Jurong CPF building to submit my time sheet to my Agent. He then ask me if I would like to continue to work for the company I am working now after the 17 days period? I thought about it for a while before answering him,"No". Before that, actually I have expected him to ask me this question but I didn't know that he would ask me so soon. Anyway, after some discussion with Lorraine over the phone about it, I decided not to continue with the job. But one thing I know for sure - The pay is going to be very less.

Went home after that and along the way, I fold hearts again. It has been a very long time since I last fold the hearts. Haiz...cannot reach my target or 999. Let alone 9999. Sorry BaoBei...didn't reach your target that you have set for me too...it's less than 520. If you all want to know why 520, ask BaoBei. Only BaoBei and me knows the meaning of 520. Such a failure!!! *Angry at myself*

HuiYi called me around evening. Chat with her for a while and she ask why didn't I call her for chat? Erm..actually I don't have the habit to call people up without reason. Now you all know how I lose contacts with friends? She ask me how are things between me and my BaoBei? I dare not really answer her this question cos...recently, I do not know is it that I am affected by my friend's broken relationships and the environment around me or is it that I am thinking too much or whatever? I suddenly don't have confident on our relationship(I mean my BaoBei's and me relationship) and I found myself having serious thoughts over some things and my imagination. She also says that she haven't seen me for a long time. Erm..I didn't attend church for a week only mah. The most funny part is, my Agent thought that I had work for 4 weeks?! Hahaha! I guess time really flies fast.

She sound very sad over the phone but I don't know why cos I never ask. Someone also never go for church and CG because of work. Alamak! Why like that? No wonder Bro's reaction was so big over the msn when I told him that I won't be coming for service and CG. He ask me to try to make it for this coming Sunday Service. Again I don't know how to console her but I just listen to what she says. She has a lot of homework to do PLUS PROJECT?! KNS! Her homework is already so tough and now the teacher give her project?! I was like,"What kinda school is this?!" She is also one of the people who envied BaoBei and me. How come the people around me envy us? Hmm...It's just that we seldom quarrel that's all. Anyway, we have nothing to quarrel about. Maybe because it's only the beginning of our relationship or it could be that because BaoBei is always giving in to me. Oh and one thing I must say. Because I heard a saying that quarrels will strength the relationship. Let me tell you, it's argument that strengthens it. NOT quarrels! There's a thin line between these two extremes. Argument means you have your stand of certain things and you want your partner to see your point of view so you sort-of "debating" with your partner. Quarrel means the words exchange are harsh and sometimes, even hurtful to both parties. I learnt all these in marriage seminar. Cos I had friends who said,"Quarrels and Arguments are the same what". No! It's NOT!

Argument = You "fight" in a way that your words doesn't hurt or degrade your partner in any way. But you only want your partner to understand your point of things.

Quarrel = The words exchange between both parties are often hurtful and will tend to hurt the partner's ego or feelings. This usually happens if the words exchange are harsh and there's name-calling, degrading terms are used.

Usually I will try as best as I can to op for the 1st option. But sometimes, in a moment of my anger or hot-temperness, the 2nd option will come from me "accidentally". If I can, I will try not to hurt BaoBei cos I heard that BaoBei's heart is quite fagile. But I think I had hurt him either directly or indirectly at times. There a part of me keep saying to me that because of all the things and environment that keep happening around me, the more I should hold on to BaoBei's hand tightly to face any obstacles that comes our way. But there's another part of me still having doubts here and there because of what I had seen with my own eyes or hear from my friends. HuiYi then told me not to let my surroundings or others affect my relationship with BaoBei. Because of my work, I can't get to see BaoBei at all for the past week. I do miss him at times and wonder how is he doing in NS and whether did he fall sick again? BaoBei's health is not very good nowadays. His family had gone back to Malaysia for the New Year, which means that he's now left alone. Now, because of my work, I cannot be there for him.

I've been thinking whether to avoid him? Cos he get to learn my nose bleeding problem and he seems worried. I was thinking,"What if my nose bleed again when I see him?" He'll be worried sick! Nowadays, I had no choice but to put a packet of tissue underneath my counter cos I don't want to run to the toilet to wash my nose every time it bleeds. My supervisor suspect that there's something wrong with my health and ask me to go for check up cos she says it's very abnormal for a person to have nose bleed frequently. I suddenly thought of a medical condition but I don't know the symptoms. The Chinese term is called,"Bi Yan Ai" it the cancer of the nose that will cause a person to bleed from the nose frequently. I don't think I have that? Maybe it's the heatiness of my body that cause it. I also heard that people who burn mid-night oil often(which means sleep very late quite often)will also have it. HuiYi says if my nose bleeds one more week, she is pulling me to see a doctor.
Argh!!!!! I miss Ps.Ulf service!!! This week, I think Dr.Bernard is coming? Ahh!! Cannot get to see him! Hate it! I don't know why but I look forward seeing Dr.Bernard. His Book that I have bought, brightens my day alot and the words inside it are very encouraging. If I miss his service I guess I have to wait till he returns next time.

End of the world is coming real soon!!! Very excited!!! Okay...I know I am siao but you people will not understand how I feel. Only Esther Ho will understand. All the signs that is stated in the Bible came true! He will be coming anytime soon! Those who read the Bible more often than me should know what I am talking about.

I think I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time. Sorry that my entries seems boring.

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