The pictures are the view from BaoBei's side. BaoBei and me got separated by the crowds. Saw some ex-colleagues there and My Boss and his wife?!(But he never saw me). Saw Elaine too but then, ever since she join the church, she has been ignoring me. Unlike the old days when we were in school. Church really does change people. Either good or bad. There are good and bad Christians out there. I say this from what I see in church. So don't assume that just because someone is from church, he or she will be goody-two-shoes or holy. It all depends on the person himself/herself. That explains why, non-Christians always had this mindset,"Huh?! I thought Christians should be _____(fill in yourself)?!" Or "Huh?! I thought Christians cannot ______(fill in yourself)?! I admit I am one of the "bad" Christians lah. I don't live completely by The Bible(Although I really take my hat off those who could do it)still, I try my best to live up to the 10 commandments but recently I just break one of them. If you had been "chasing" my blog all these years you would know what is the one commandment that I break.
To Lorraine, I am sorry that I answer wrongly the other time. I was absorbing what you said so I reply you too fast(without thinking) and wrongly. I really didn't mean what I answer. Please forgive me. Those who were there to listen that time, were all shock by my answer but REALLY, I DIDN'T MEAN IT! Although there was once upon a time I was curious to find out what does being a Satanist like? Oh ya, talking about this, Russell Lee Book number 16 is out in stores!!! Those Russell Lee fans, you can go grab it now! There's one section that a person wrote about his Satanist adopted Parents. Quite interesting but scary. Now then I realize Satan does bless his worshippers like God! But there's a price to pay. It's something that I DON'T WISH TO PAY FOR! I pity that writer and I pray for him that he will get out of his adopted Parents clutches and hopefully meet his real biological parents soon.
BaoBei finally admit that he feels stress whenever he's with me. I also feel that there's something change in our relationship. We don't know how to communicate anymore. Actually it's my fault. I keep comparing him with others and he feels pressure that he couldn't give me what other's bf could give to their gfs. I want quality time but now we are so busy with our own that we hardly spend any real quality time together. I want his attention but he's been paying attention to his PSP that he doesn't even know I ever exist. I wonder will cold-war will do us any good to help us to think through what we really want in our relationship? Sorry, I am a person who don't know how to express and speak. Maybe blogging and writing are my only way to express myself. It's been too long since we ever had any heart-to-heart talk. He says that whenever we had any heart-to-heart talk, he needs to smoke in order to talk. That's what I hate most! He also know that if he ever smoke, I will "challange" him by drinking(which I promise Bro.Khai that I won't)and BaoBei hates my drinking style. He also feels upset that now I am beginning to shut down and don't wish to share my thoughts and my day with him. Like e.g: When I had a bad day at work, I don't know how to release my stress. I just SMS him not to call me. Then when he SMS me back and ask me to share with him how's my work today? He said he wants to listen to me. But I just SMS him back,"Leave me alone"then he'll feel that I don't open to him enough. It was only though HuiYi, then he gets to know what really happened. Cos I share a lot of things with HuiYi. He said that he feels sad that he has to go through other people in order to know what I am thinking and how I feel. I really don't know how to talk anymore. I guess no one could ever help me...
I think I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time. Happy National Day Singapore!
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