help me

This morning, Adrian called me on my mobile phone. I then pick up the call and he told me he was thinking of attending a church! He then ask me if I could help him to join my church on March. Seriously speaking, I DON'T WANT TO BE IN THE SAME CELL GROUP AS HIM! He then ask which cell group will he be if he joins the church I am attending now. I told him if he goes by himself, he may be alocate to a cell group by the counsellor who pray for him. If he were to follow me, I have to introduce him to the cell group I am attending now. GOD! WHY DO I HAVE TO STICK WITH HIM?! YOU ARE BEING UNFAIR! YOU KNOW MY FEARS! YOU KNOW WHAT HAD HAPPENED AND THE HOLY SPIRIT HAD WITNESS IT! WHY DO YOU STILL ASK HIM TO JOIN MY CELL GROUP?! WHY?! I DON'T WANT TO BE WITH HIM!!! HELP!!!

He then told me something,"If the church can convience me to believe in Christ, then I'll consider joining the church". Part of me was thinking,"Wah kao! Who the ^%# do you think you are?! Must convience you to join the church?! It'll be better if you don't join! I don't wish to see you!"But another part of me take it as an oppotunity to save a lost soul. But..CAN I DON'T BE IN THE SAME CELL GROUP AS HIM!? I SERIOUSLY DON'T WISH TO BE WITH HIM! He said that he join the church only because of me. I then told him that he should do it for God and not for me! Anyway I know his real intentions of joining the church. Which is also the reason why I don't want to bring him in the first place!

He can even pretend nothing had happened between the both of us and act as normal! KNS! I am beginning to hate guys like that! Sorry lor! I am not the type of person that can play pretence lor! Feel like murdering him! Cos nothing could take away the hatred that I had for him! I know the Bible ask us to forgive and forget. But how could I?! Sorry God, Sorry Holy Spirit, but..I COULDN'T DO IT! I COULDN'T FORGIVE HIM! and most importantly, I COULDN'T FORGET WHAT HAS HAPPENED! HOW COULD I?! TEACH ME!? DON'T ASK ME TO PRETEND NOTHING HAS EVER HAPPENED AND MOVE ON! I TELL YOU, I HAVE TRIED! BUT I COULDN'T FORGET AND ESPECIALLY COULDN'T FORGIVE NO MATTER WHAT! I AM NOT THAT MERCIFUL AND I AM NOT AN EASILY FORGIVING PERSON OKAY?! ESPECIALLY WHEN IT COMES TO MATTERS LIKE THAT! I AM STILL TRUMATISE BY WHAT HAD HAPPENED THAT NIGHT!

I then told him that I do not want him to come for once or twice and never come. If he wants to come, he should be totally committed to Christ!(I said this to scare him off actually). He then said,"What if I couldn't come because I had something on? What if I don't come for no valid reasons?"I then told him sacasticly that he might as well don't join the church in the first place! Sorry but I really couldn't bring myself to be with him no matter what! I know God needs souls to be save. Sure, I can save his soul if I want to..but fellowship with him after service? NO WAY MAN! THAT IS TOTALLY OUT OF THE QUESTION FOR ME! If he stays after service, then I'll leave! If he leaves, then I'll stay! FULL STOP! My friends should know why I am acting like that(I have told you all the whole story of what happened le)!

He then hang up the phone and I went for work. After work, Nor then came and meet me to chit-chat. She then offer me a bottle of beer. When I look at the brand, it automatically reminds me of him!(That *******!)I then told her that I don't want to drink with her for today. She ask,"Why? scared you get drunk? Please lah..this brand of beer won't drunk 1 lah!" I said,"I know. But I don't wanna drink today can?"Actually, I lied. I just don't want to drink that particular brand. Just looking at it makes me think back of the incidents. Although it is not that brand of beer that made me drunk but because that night, he was drinking that particular brand. So no matter what, if i see that particular brand of beer, it will automatically reminds me of that ugly incident!

I think I shall end here for now. Sorry for the nonsense blog for today. Can anyone tell me how to help that idiot to receive salvation from God but at the same time, seperate the both of us in different cell group?