Monday, April 10, 2006

Waiting for transformation

On Saturday, I went to a Sister's cell group with MingYing. We lost our way and in the end we have to take a cab there. Late for 1 hour haiz..sorry MingYing, my fault cos I don't know how to lead. MingYing then left very early as she has ministry to attend. I saw some new faces in the cell group but never get to know them. I don't like to socialize much anyway.

After that the cell group leader bought a few of us back in a cab. Haiz..so pai seh. I then thank her and went to look for my cell group. I was walking alone and I guess I was late for service as there are no ushers outside of the building and only a few of the people are walking with me. Strange..no one SMS to tell me where they are seated. I then walk past HuiYi's new cell group and was surprise to see Yanling there! Ahhh! Long time no see le! Very happy to see her although she change cell group like HuiYi and the rest. LiYi then ask me,"Oei! Greet them never greet me huh? I am transparent de huh? Okay lor.." I then apologize to LiYi as I never see her sitting there. Sorry lah LiYi..don't be angry leh. Haha. HuiYi then ask where is my cell group sitting and I replied that I don't know as none of them message me or anything to where they are seated. I then told her I will be sitting alone lor. She then glare at me and said,"No! How can you sit alone?! Come! We take you to them!"HuiYi then tried calling YueMing but she never pick up the call. MingWei and HuiYi then followed me and lead me to my cell group then they went off. *Sobx* I want to sit with LiYi!

Brother Tony then came and greet me as usual and sat down to talk to the new friends that Jia Ling's sister brought. I then wait for him to finish talking to them and then I ask him on purpose,"Brother Tony, do you have something to tell me"? He then look at me and said,"Uh.." before he came over and talk to me about my tithe. After that he then went off and talk to the new friends again. I was waiting for him to ask me something else other than tithe! Cos I want to talk to him! KNS! Haiz..since he don't want to talk to me and keep it to himself then forget it lah. I don't want to talk about that topic to him as I can see that he is quite stress about bringing new friends to church.

After that we then sing praise and worship and took the Holy Con-union(Is it this word?). I was very happy cos I thought I had miss it when I never attend service last week as the church usually takes it the 1st week of every month. But I hate it when the pastor gave us such a short time to say our prayers to God to whatever we want to say before taking the Con-union. I wonder what do they say using such a short time? After the service, there is this little girl called Jasmine who join our cell group. She is quite shy and talks very softly. I don't quite like to talk especially to new friends. Sorry for being so "dao" but I don't feel comfortable talking to them. If it is sisters, maybe I will try to step out of my comfort zone to stike a conversation with them. But if it's a Brother, sorry to say, I don't like to talk to them. No matter how you push me, the most I just talk one or two sentences with them and that's it. Sorry but this is me. Brother Tony ask us to make them feel welcomed. Okay okay..I will try my best okay? Although I don't quite like to talk to Brothers after what happened to one of my god-Brother. It has affect me greatly as I had trust him not to hurt me..but in the end...haiz..I don't wish to say but my friends should know what happened. And that cause the change in me! I told myself from now on, just go back to being what I used to be and this time, I will be more close-up and more introvert than before! Since this is what you want me to become, okay! Fine! I can become like that for you! I am used to be like that anyway! So if I had become too quiet or what, DON'T BLAME ME cos this is what you want, so this is what you get!

After that we then went to fellowship and I went for my Bible study with Brother Eugune. Brother Tony ask Brother Eugene to give me as he is busy giving Bible study to another group of people. I am not used to Brother Eugune's Bible study as he go through it very fast! Like as if he is not interested in giving me Bible Study. He had told me before,"Juliet, if I go through it too fast you must stop me". Oh ya right. You think I will? I just want to see how is your way of giving Bible study so I purposely don't stop you. If it is like this, then I prefer Brother Tony's Bible study. But still..the person that I wish to give me the Bible study most...you should know who you are. I really enjoyed my Bible Study with you and I still miss having Bible study with you.


*Eileen then called me and chat with me about the guy she wanted to introduce to me. I then told her I see how things goes first. Cos I don't quite like the guy my God-sister introduce to me. I will see how this goes. Father, don't tell me that the other time I did the quiz, you saw it with your eyes? It's really scary that suddenly all these things happen after I did the quiz. Cos when I was doing the quiz, I came across a question that ask me which method I would prefer to meet my "the other half"? After I thought for it for awhile and ask the Holy Spirit, which he didn't reply me, I then choose an answer which I thought that it is how I wanted to meet "him" in a realistic way and shortly after that, things like this began to happen and I didn't pray for it at all lor! When I pray for the things I really want and expect it to happen, it didn't happen and when I didn't pray for the things to happen, it happened. Father! Why are you so strange? Could you also provide me for a job that I want too?

After that, YueMing disappeared(I think she left while I was taking Bible Study), Brother Tony and Brother Eugene had to go off and I was left alone with Jonathan. MingYing and Nicholas has disappeared too. JingXian, WeiJing, PengYee, YuZhi then came to join us. I then went to 7-11 to buy some snacks as I am not full after eating that Noodles. I then share with Jonathan a little and watch Jing Xian teaching the rest of the boys dancing. I was very surprise that YuZhi was taller than me! Hmm..I think he is the same age as my younger brother but yet he is taller than me. Which means he is a head taller than my younger brother. At home, I tease my brother for being so short. He's 18 this year but still, he is a head shorter than me. Hahaha! If I could, I would like to switch heights with him. Cos he is the same height as my Mum but I am the same height as my Dad. But one thing I lose to my Dad is by walking. He walks extremely fast! He walks in a very slow pace but strangely, very fast. I don't know how to explain this to you but if one day you were to walk with my Dad, you'll be surprise by the way he walks. He walks in a slow pace but at the same time, if you are not aware of him and talking to someone else while walking or whatever, by the time you turn to look at him, he could be quite far away. This is my Dad for you. A few of my friends sometimes complain that I walk too fast! I am walking in my normal pace mind you! I am not walking very fast! I guess maybe I had inherited my father's genes that's why. I am like my Dad in most ways. Hahahaha! We then board the train and went home. On the way, MingYing then ask me to save money and she will bring me to shopping and change my dress style too. Haha..okay okay. Wait till I really have money then I will go shopping with you. HuiYi also wants to bring me shopping to change my image and clothes too and not forgetting YueMing too and my god-sister. Wah! So many girls bringing me for shopping..have to spend quite alot of money. Haha! Wait till I got a new job first bah..

I guess I have to end here for now. Have to rush for work. Haiz..when can I get a new job??? Father, I want a new job please? A job that I am happy working in?

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