Woke up very late in the morning. Suppose to be at CGM in the morning for combine CG. When HuiYi called me in the morning, I had just woke up(my hp is now beside my bed 24/7..so even during wee hours like 3am or 4am if u can't sleep and need someone to talk to, you can call me and I'll surely pick up your call). When I woke up, my head was very painful!(You all should know why bah? Reason very obvious) I then drag myself out of bed and shower to get myself ready. Took a cab and rush down to CG and manage to be just in time.
At CG, I complaint to HuiYi that my head is very painful and she knows the reason why and said,"Si Gina! Go drinking again last night right?! Yao Si orh!"and complaint to Lorraine. Lorraine then look at me quite sternly and signal to me to go to her. I was thinking,"Oh no!" She then piak my thigh and said,"What did you promise me huh?"(I made a promise to her last time that I could only drink 1 glass of Vodka and stop at that)HuiYi initially thought that I had gone into ONS thingy and asked me. I told her I did not got into ONS but almost got into fights instead. She said,"See lah?!" She look very shock when I told her that I crawl out from the club and vomited on the streets. First time behaving like that..and couldn't see my surroundings clearly. Every image to me was extremely blur that time to the extend that I need help from people to help me see which place did the NR bus go to and could only trust their words to board the right bus.
During the CG, Bro then mention about the different levels of friendship we shared with our friends. From Level 1 to Level 5. I was very surprise that HuiYi is actually my Level 5 friend! Which means actually I am quite vulnerable towards HuiYi and she's the most closest person to me next to God himself! Now I know why I could share everything with her at ease. I was very touched by her when she said about me that although I am a crazy girl(feng feng dian dian)most of the time, but when she had problems and needed someone to talk to, I gave her my full attention and listened to her problems with a serious look on my face. Hmm? Is it? I duno about the crazy part, cos so far only Vicente Korkor and her said I am a crazy person. But as for the listening part, I admit that I give full attention to my friends. You can't expect me to joke on your problem right? Anyway I really can't do it. Like I said before, if you had problems, I can't promise you that I could solve it for you. But I can really promise you that I can lend you my listening ears and my shoulders for you to cry onto if you ever need that. That is also the main reason why I don't ever switch off my handphone(other than charging). Cos if my friends were to need me to be there, they could reach me by phone anytime.
In church, Pastor talks about the emotional map we all have. We could use it in our quiet time with God. Hmm..I find it extremely useful for a person who don't know how to express themselves well(Like Me). He then ask a sister to read out aloud the love letter that spouses should write for each other to strengthen their marriage when conflicts arises. When the sister reads it with emotions, somehow I don't know why, I felt that it is as if the letter is written by HS to me personally. I am going through a problem then and the timing of the letter is very eerie! The letter angered me at first but I didn't pray or said anything and continued to listen on. When the sister reads about hurt, I can strongly sense HS's hurt towards the sinful things that I had done to grieve Him. I can also sense His fear towards the things I do and something told me that He fears that my history of my past would repeat itself if I continue to do certain things again and again that I could never get out of that cycle. When the sister reads,"I'm sorry you have such a wounded heart", I cried immediately. I also cried at the ending part of the letter where it says,"Jesus and I love you". After the sister finish reading, I felt like going down on my knees and cry out loud to God. But then again I am scared that the people sitting around me will think I am crazy. Now do you guys understand how WORDS can impact me so much that could make or break my heart?
After the service, Bro came and share his thoughts about the message. After that I quickly rush off to meet my friends at Harbourfront. I thought I had lost my bag in the shop when my friends play a trick on me. I was not angry with them but I am more worried of losing the things inside my bag! So..Esther, JiaXin and Lynn, Don't worry. I am not angry with you guys at all. But I am worried that's all. We went over to the food court opposite Harbourfront for dinner. Send Lynn to the taxi stand and we went to Espanade for a walk. I told JiaXin I had to go home earlier as I had another service in the morning and I wanted to get some sleep. She reluctantly to let me go at first but give up after I paster her to let me go home. I know that it is very difficult to meet JiaXin in future but sorry, blame me that I don't know how to balance my church activities and my social life well. JiaXin complaint to me some time ago that I seem very busy with church activities that I had no time for them anymore. Esther, help me tell JiaXin that I am extremely sorry if I made her feel that way. But I promise you all that once this marriage course is complete and when church activities is back to normal, I will spend time with you guys again to catch up okay?
Will end here for now. Will blog about Sunday's event in a few days time.
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