Friday, June 22, 2007

Cell Group Meeting + Lack of Trust(and maybe love?)

Went to work yesterday but made my boss angry. Cos I don't know what is PDA form. In ITE, I never get to learn about PDA so it's something new to me. He ask me to locate a D/O for him but I couldn't locate it no matter what. He then got very angry at me and ask me to fold boxes for the rest of the day.

Went for CGM and I was late cos I board a bus there 30e to Bedok instead of MRT. BaoBei open the gate for me and Lorraine was teasing him for it. She shared a lot of things that what she learn in her Bible school. Sounds interesting! But I guess it is something that I could not achieve unless I have deeper understanding with the Bible and HS. The other day in msn, Lorraine give me a verse and ask me to go and read. After I read it, I was like,"Okay..." but then when I read further on(which is AFTER the verses that she told me to read), I felt mixture of anger and ashamed. I forgot where is the verse but it says something about Parents and obedience etc. I feel that it is trying to tell me something about my relationship with my Mum. Which until now, we haven't even spoke a word to each other.

Watch movie with Katherine and the rest of the CGMs. Saw a cute new girl among us and I get to learnt that her name was Li Ting. Katherine and Li Ting both look alike in some ways, like sisters! To the CGMs: Sorry for being an annoyance for walking about during the movie. Pray for BaoBei for his stomach(but he says he is pain in his intestine?!) and then we went home. Bidding goodbye to the CGMs. Before I left, Lorraine talk to me a bit on my mentally towards my new workplace. Okay, I will try to learn as much as I can. I will see how things goes. Disappointed that BaoBei didn't went home with me cos he keep complaining of the pain. My Mum cook the dishes for both of us but yet he can't go home with me. I let him go anyway and board bus 14 with HuiYi.

During the bus journey, HuiYi said she notice that BaoBei and I are no longer as loving as before. She said when she saw BaoBei hold my hand, I "responded" half-heartily. She also feels sad for us that we sit far apart from each each. She ask it is because of the incident that made me this way? She also ask do I still love BaoBei? I thought for awhile and replied that I still love him, but I can no longer trust him. She then said,"How can you said you love a person but yet you don't trust him?" I don't know how to explain to her. I had mix feelings on this too. She also said that she don't understand why I agree to go and meet his ex in the first place?(which in the end we never met up) She said the girl could pose as a challenge to me or she may be trying to get BaoBei back. I don't think so. Cos I heard that she's married with a child. One of the reason why I don't really want to meet her is because of my looks and the other reason is my low self-esteem. She's prettier than me and she knows how to dress herself. HuiYi once told me before that most of BaoBei's ex's are very pretty and fashionable. Ya lah! I know lah! Not like me right? - Auntie.

Later on, HuiYi prayed for me for my relationship with my Mum. She also prayed for the relationship for me with BaoBei will be restored. Reach home and sleep after that. I think I will end here for now. Will blog again some other time.

No comments: