I want to quit!!! Help!!!

My mood is quite unbalance these days. I really regret going for the office interview and now working in my present company. I finally learn what does "Peace of God" really means. When Lorraine brief the CG sometime ago, she said,"Don't quit a job that you THINK that it's the peace of God that made you quit, when in reality, it's your FLESH feels "peace" and not the peace of God! Amen?"(Or something like that?) Now I finally know what does she mean and I truly regret it but couldn't do anything about it. Jaslyn called me during my work and I spoke to her a bit. Complain to her in the end but still she says at the end of the day, if I really want to quit, I have to tell Boss myself. Wendy was being sarcastic when she learnt that I am not doing well in my current job. Ya lah! Ya lah! Laugh lah! Only HuiYi and BaoBei knows my real reason why I leave my previous company. Anyway, I don't see any prospect to continue with that job.

I then ask my Dad can I go for new course by NTUC? The course fees is $3000 - $5000 but 80% will be subsides if I really have financial difficulties. The main thing is I HAVE to pass the course, or I will have to pay the full price if I fail(at least I heard?) Since office job is really not suitable for me, then my ITE certificate is considered invalid to me. I want to get a different cert, like F&B services cert, which I feel that is the only job which I can really excel well. Okay, maybe not as good and perfect as you imagine but at least I can handle the job scope well. Aidah, my ITE classmate, said that if I really feel that office is not for me, maybe I can try customer service job and it's good if I were to upgrade myself. I used to think that I can handle admin job but now in reality, I realize that I can't. Customer Service, especially in F&B industry, I feel that I can do well cos the things are all very basic(and no need to use mind power). The bad side is that the pay will be lower than office job but at least it's something that I know how to do and I can do. But of course this time, I have to choose the F&B job carefully since I plan to work as my career. But then it will be a 6 day week instead of 5 days. So I will try to look for one that I can get Saturdays off.

BaoBei ask me to stay on in my current job until the 3 months probation is up. Haha! I don't know whether I can still survive in this company then? One thing I learnt, if your physical(even mental) self dreads going to work everyday, that job may not be suitable for you. I know some people still continue to go to work in that state cos of the money and for survival so they had no choice. I feel sad for them. Cos work is what makes you wake up every morning(or evenings, for night shift workers) to be happy and look forward to go to work everyday. Not like my current state!

Listen to FM93.3 at night yesterday and a girl called in to delicate a song for her male-friend. She mentions that she has a lot of projects to do at school. It finally hit me why I hate to study. Cos I am alone in school so if I do not know how to do projects, I will fail the subject. In ITE, there is one particular subject that requires group work and I was alone while the rest of my classmates have their own project group. My teacher was annoyed and she said,"This project you cannot do alone! You must have teamwork in order to complete it! I don't care! You better go and find yourself a group partner!" In the end, I joined Aidah's group(That was only THEN I get to know her). Cos her group only consist her and Hairul(our class Ah Qua) she do most of the work while she hands Hairul and me the "easier" work. Of course mine is the easiest compared to Hairul. Only find the image of aeroplanes and photo copy to hand it to her. Which I did at the very very last minute(one day before the submission of our project, which I suppose to have start 2 week ago!) I anyhow grab a book from Queenstown Library, flip through randomly and just photo copy anyhow(Serious!). When I hand it to Aidah the next day, she said,"Wow! Eh! Where you get all these sia?! Very good!" By the grace of God, our project got the most highest mark - A* cos of the aeroplanes pictures which I randomly photo copied plus Aidah's clear description of the project. Our teacher was impress by the group work. At that time, I was thinking,"Like that also can?!" no hard work on my part, but still I thank God for helping my group mates. Cos seriously, I would think we would fail and get a D instead.

Feeling very sad now. I just pray that the Boss can let me go even before the 3 months ends. I really don't wish to stay on...Will end here for now. I will blog again some other time.