Ending

Everything seems to go wrong. Change all my friendster, email and some sites passwords to something else. Cos I am used to using his name as my password cos I think it is a very difficult spelling for his name. But until recently, I start to change all my passwords. Still not used to it that the passwords have been change. Cos I am so used to typing his name everytime something prompts for password in my computer. I must forget him! I must! Although he has brought me joy to my life, but at the end, he has also brought me hurt. I can't believe it! The person whom I thought that won't hurt me most, always tends to hurt me very deeply. Same goes to somebody whom I don't wish to mention the name. I guess being too trustful and being to native has it's bad sides after all. But...what can I do? Cos that is me and I can't seems to change....except that I could only change to not being too trustful anymore. So that is why if my friends notice that I have been more doubtful than before, erm.....now you all should know why.

Went drinking alone on Friday night. Too much things happening at home, too much stress and fustruation. I keep ordering drinks and keep on pouring in the drinks till I lost count on how many drinks I had in total. I think about 15 glasses? Or 18 glasses? I only remembered I drank 4 glasses of Pure Volka and the rest are all mix drinks. It's Ladies' nite that day. Plus there is B-boxing going on that day so there are much more crowds than last friday. Haiz...if I know there is so much crowds, I won't be going there. Cos I want to have some drinking peace please! After that I went home by myself...being close to dead drunk, I had slight difficulty in my movements and my sight. I had to ask 1 of the bouncers to get my bag for me and I walk to the bus stop myself to catch the NR bus home.(That short distance seems to take me forever to walk to it when I was in that state) When I reach home, early in the morning about 4+am, my Mum pick quarrel with me. Although I am half-drunk, still I can hear what she says. Okay lah! Since you want me to move out, I will move!!!! But if I ever move out, do take note that I won't be coming back to this hell ever again!!!! I rather be outside than here! Push every blame onto me! You have a mouth that don't want to ask me for something when I had and only ask me when I don't, then I do not know how to communicate with you any further! And I don't wish to communicate with you! I am tired!!!!! Emotinally, mentally, spiritually and especially physically!!!!!! Just give me a few more months and I'll move out okay?! And I'll get lost from your sight!!!! Happy?!

Woke up very late today due to the drinks that I had last night. HuiYi called me in the morning to ask why I was not at the meeting place? My head was in pain when I woke up. Had to force myself to get out of the house as soon as possible. When I reach cell group, Yu Zhi then ask me for the jacket. Oops! Sorry Bro, forgot to bring it with me. Maybe next week? At the cell group, my phone keep on ringing and flashing non-stop and Sandy keep on poking my arm each time it flashes to remind me there's a call coming in. When I see who it was, I throw the phone back to my bag and refuse to answer it. Sandy gave me a whierd look for that.

After cell group, I then rush to IMM with Sandy quickly to get Sun's Autograph. Very sad that I couldn't capture her on my camera phone. The image was very blur due to the lights. KNS! I think they know that camera phone has weakness for lights. Saw YueMing, Anita, Melissa and some of the members at the scene. I gave them a wave as a greeting. After getting Sun's autograph, I saw Sister Yan Ping but she don't seems to recongise me when I greet her. So sad, but never mind. Sun was very friendly with that smile. A few of the fans get to hug her. I was not one of them. Cos I dare not hug Sun. Saw Brother Eugune there too and manage to talk to him a little while. I then saw a sister with him but dare not ask if she was his girlfriend. Sorry that I couldn't mention her name as she is a popular sister. She is quite pretty and charming, I could say. I guess if I were a guy, she is one of the type of girls I would go for. I couldn't help but wonder if they are involve in those BGR thingy you know? But still I dare not have the courage to ask. I just leave it as that.

Quite a tiring day today. Manage to went home peacefully. Thank God! Looks like I got to turn in early today in order to avoid quarrelling.