Yesterday work was very boring. Haiz..late for work too. But luckily my supervisor was kind enough to consider a half day leave for me although I am not entitled to. She give me a choice whether to come for work in the afternoon or to take 1 day leave instead. I choose to come to work although she told me that I won't be paid for that day..cos..late for work for duno how many hours. Haiz...
Receive a shocking SMS from Brother Eugune that YueMing's grandfather had passed away. When I receive the message, my first reaction was,"Huh?! How could it be?!"(I "huh" slightly loud in the office but luckily no one heard me) I then ask Brother Eugune for the address but little did I know that he SMS me the wrong address instead.
Met Nicholas, Jonathan and Jia Ling at night to go for the ceremony. On the way, Nicholas came over to ask me to share with him about my problem. I had shared almost everything about what has been going on with my life and I think he is shock that I am behaving in this manner and that is how I have been thinking. He didn't say anything but ask me to forgive the person. At that time, I was thinking,"You think I would?!" he then keep quiet for the rest of the day. Haiz..Nick..can don't be so scared of me or not? I know lah..I am sorry to scare you like that. It's my fault. Sorry Nick.
We then walk a very long way to get there cos of the wrong address. When we reach there, we then sat down with the cell group members. Not all of them turn up though. I then met a new girl named,"Faith". A very petite and friendly girl. I wanted to console YueMing but when I saw her, I do not know what to say. Haiz..don't know how come I am so dumb suddenly. We then ate and fellowship with one another. I just sit down and kept quiet throughout while the rest chat with each other. After that we went to pay respects to YueMing's grandfather and left the place.
Yue Ming then send me to the bus stop and while waiting for the bus, I then shared with her something and she told me exactly the same thing HuiYi told me the other day. She ask me to learnt to forgive(Ya wait long long). She said that she knows that it is very difficult but I must try and told me to put God above our problems and not among our problems. I did not put God among my problems but I put God beneathe my problems. Meaning my problems are on top of God. She told me that if I put God first and on top of my problems, God's grace will solve the problem automaticly. Oh yeah? But I don't think what I want and expect, God will help me. Especially it is something evil. I don't know but since she is in church longer than me and she is quite strong spiritually in God, maybe she'll know better. There are times, I felt ignored in the cell group. Sorry but I really don't know how to mingle with people. I am very scared that I will say things that offend people unknowingly. So that is why most of the time I tend to be very quiet.
I will see how things goes as time goes by...but I really wanna see him suffer! In Jail hopefully! Stupid ZBR! U KNS! #&*%@^ #&%^&@#! I hope you'll get your retributation soon! Not only from me..but from someone else!(Only I know who...)
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