Feeling very confuse now. Maybe I shouldn't have told him everything from the start. Yesterday night he suddenly came and msg me after he saw my nick on msn and ask me if I feel the same way towards him? I dare not answer his question at first and quickly change the topic. He obviously doesn't like it and keep probing me for answers. I made him promise me two things before telling him the truth from my heart that I have kept for 10 years.
To my surprise, after I had answered his dreadful question, he told me the truth that he had kept in his heart too. After he said that, I felt very guilty and sad. In chinese, they have this saying,"Yuen Zhai Tian Bian Jing Zhai Yen Cian". Now I finally understand what those words means. I was shock to what he had said. Haiz..I told him that it's all my fault but he keep on blaming himself.
After that before I was going offline, he ask me another question which make me want to cry. I told him an answer indirectly and he just said,"It's not too late Juliet..it's never too late". After I had log off the chat, I couldn't sleep well. My mind was blank and I keep wondering "why" in many areas of my life. Guess I could only live in regrets. Haiz..I could only blame myself for not reading the signs. For not being more observing. For not paying more attention to the things around me and why does he hide it from me for so many years and only tell me now? Don't know whether to believe him or his words. Guys can be great liars at times. No wonder he's been acting so strangely and speaks so strangely after some time. I wonder how is he getting along with his girlfriend? I don't wish to be the third party and I never will! That is why I made him promise to me that he'll take good care of his girlfriend. I don't wish to hear that he broke up with her because of me or anything like that.
How come suddenly me and him are like the "Turn left turn right" movie of the actor and actress? Cos in that movie, I remembered the couple are so near to each other but yet they have never met each other after Primary School excursion and only met each other later in their lives. It has happened twice like this but don't know is it a mere coincidence? The Chingay last year was an example..followed by an Agency in Singapore. When I went there with Angel, I didn't know he was still inside the company cos I didn't look into the glass door to see the people inside. Coincidently the day when I go to the Agency with Angel was his last day of work there. But we have never met. He said he was inside...while I was outside. Haiz..it's so near but yet so far.
To my surprise, after I had answered his dreadful question, he told me the truth that he had kept in his heart too. After he said that, I felt very guilty and sad. In chinese, they have this saying,"Yuen Zhai Tian Bian Jing Zhai Yen Cian". Now I finally understand what those words means. I was shock to what he had said. Haiz..I told him that it's all my fault but he keep on blaming himself.
After that before I was going offline, he ask me another question which make me want to cry. I told him an answer indirectly and he just said,"It's not too late Juliet..it's never too late". After I had log off the chat, I couldn't sleep well. My mind was blank and I keep wondering "why" in many areas of my life. Guess I could only live in regrets. Haiz..I could only blame myself for not reading the signs. For not being more observing. For not paying more attention to the things around me and why does he hide it from me for so many years and only tell me now? Don't know whether to believe him or his words. Guys can be great liars at times. No wonder he's been acting so strangely and speaks so strangely after some time. I wonder how is he getting along with his girlfriend? I don't wish to be the third party and I never will! That is why I made him promise to me that he'll take good care of his girlfriend. I don't wish to hear that he broke up with her because of me or anything like that.
How come suddenly me and him are like the "Turn left turn right" movie of the actor and actress? Cos in that movie, I remembered the couple are so near to each other but yet they have never met each other after Primary School excursion and only met each other later in their lives. It has happened twice like this but don't know is it a mere coincidence? The Chingay last year was an example..followed by an Agency in Singapore. When I went there with Angel, I didn't know he was still inside the company cos I didn't look into the glass door to see the people inside. Coincidently the day when I go to the Agency with Angel was his last day of work there. But we have never met. He said he was inside...while I was outside. Haiz..it's so near but yet so far.
I guess it's all my fault...being too stupid...never notice the signs. Why didn't he tell me earlier?! Don't know what to do now. I am very upset....very confuse.....
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