Saturday, July 08, 2006

KNS!

Stupid!!! After all this while, I am still the most stupidest person in the whole world!!!! WHY DO THE PEOPLE WHO ARE CLOSEST TO ME, WHO ARE DEAR TO ME, ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS HURT ME THE MOST?!!!!! I HATE THEM!!!!!!! I HATE IT!!!!!!!

Really shouldn't have told him the truth!!! Really shouldn't told him how I feel!!!! Now I really regret. WHY AM I SO STUPID?! I HATE ATYS!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE ^&$^!!!!! WHAT DO YOU TREAT ME AS!?!? WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM!? I KNOW! I MAKE MISTAKE!!!! A BIG ONE!! SO?! THAT DOESN'T BLOODY HELL GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO INSULT ME LIKE THAT!!!!!! THAT DOESN'T GIVE YOU THE RIGHT TO HURT ME!!!!! ^%&&!!!!!! JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT YOU WON'T HURT ME, JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON IN MY LIFE THAT WOULD PROTECT ME, TAKE CARE OF ME AND WON'T RIP MY ALREADY WOUNDED HEART, YOU HURT ME THE MOST WITH YOU SO-CALLED "SWEET" WORDS!!!!!!! SOUNDS SO NICE!!!! BUT IT'S ALL ^&%^#$% BULLSHIT!!!!!!!! HUMPH!!!!! I AM SORRY! I WASTED ALL THE 10 PLUS YEARS KNOWING A ^%&*#^$ PERSON LIKE YOU!!!!! I am really extremely disappointed to what you have said to me!!! WTH!!!!!!!! I NEVER KNEW THAT YOU ARE SUCH A &*$%^#$!!!!!!!!!!!!! STILL SAID ALL THE WORDS THAT YOU SAID TO ME ARE TRUE AND ACCUSE ME OF DOUBTING YOUR WORDS!!! OF COURSE I DOUBT!! COS YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND MIND YOU!!!!! ATYS!!! I REALLY REALLY %^&$%^& REGRET KNOWING YOU!!!!! NOW I SEE WHAT A ^%&*$% YOU ARE!!!!!!! I AM UTTERLY AND EXTREMELY DISAPPOINT WITH YOU!!!!!!!! I NEVER KNOW YOU ARE SUCH A PERSON!!!!! DON'T BOTHER TO MEET UP WITH ME IN FUTURE!!!! I DON'T WANT TO MEET SUCH A ^%&*$% LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Huiyi doesn't understand how I feel and keep saying that I keep pulling a lost face. Hello?! I have lost a very good friend whom I had known for close to 11 years! What do you expect me to do? Put a smile? Sorry but I couldn't smile this time round. I couldn't pretend like nothing ever happen like someone can! I started to hate the number 11! Cos this is the 2nd time round that I had lost a 11-year-old friendship. The first time I had lost a 11-yr friendship is with Kit Yin. She was with me since childhood but we had to seperate due to our parents objection and her strange behaviour. I cried for a year plus every night for that particular reason. It's not easy to let go of a friendship that has been with me for so long. But I know I had to. I had no choice. I am now very wary of the people around me. Especially those friendships that are with me for now close to almost 10 years(You guys should know who you are). I am very scared that somehow or another, the friendship will end after it hit 11 years. I dread it!

After CGM, I wrote my problem to Bro.Kai cos I dare not say it out infront of so many people. I want his advice to teach me what to do. I am very confuse. Very sad, very hurt. Why?! Why must all these kinda things happen to me!? I hate guys!!! I hate ATYS!!!!! They can be very nice on the outside or treat you in a very nice way but hidden in those "sweet" message, lies something deadly! Words alone can really hurt me alot! Don't tell me that you meant every word you have said when you told me something else later on!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!!!!! Don't ever meet up with me ever again!!!!! Don't ever talk to me!!!!! LEAVE ME ALONE!!!! DON'T TOUCH ME!!!!!! I HATE YOU!!!!!! DON'T ACT AS IF YOU ARE A GENTLEMEN INFRONT OF ME ANYMORE!!!!!! ^&*%^$!!!!!!!!! GET OUT OF MY LIFE!!!!!! GET LOST!!!!! I DON'T NEED A "BROTHER" LIKE YOU!!!!!!!!!

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