Friday, July 21, 2006

Worried

Work started to be more and more stressful....why hire me in the first place if you are out there to BACKSTAB me and keep on picking on me!? Haiz..I guess that's work life..Alot of office politics going on recently and I am unknowingly dragged into it! Ms.W then said that I am lucky that my supervisor didn't report me to the Manager or else I'll be "dead"! Ya lor..thinking about it, she's right. There are some mistakes that I did, instead of reporting it to the Manager, she directly confront me and correct my mistakes. I must really thank her for it.

I am feeling okay before lunch time but after that, I have mix feelings. I am worried and angry at the same time! My supervisor warn me that she accidentally overheard one of the departments backstab me behind my back yesterday and ask me to be extra careful next time. I really really appreciate it that she come and tell me about it. She then complain to Ms.W and me that she is being "bullied" in the office by the Managers. I pity her but at the same time, I am very angry that my Managers are too much! Really feel like punching them on the face but in reality I know I can't do that. I must torlerate whatever that is being done or said to me. Jia Xin warn me before that if I were to choose to work in an office environment, be prepared for these things to happen. She is more experienced than me in office line. By the way, my supervisor is a Christian. Maybe that explains why she is so nice in the first place(Most Christians are nice people). Haiz...alot of things I must pray later before going to bed. I'll say a prayer for her too. She really helps me alot in my work but sad to say, she is poor in her health(She take leaves most of the time to go for operation or to the hospital). At work, I usually give her the I-don't-care-about-you look. But whenever I went back home, I always worried about her. Just that in front of her I don't wish to show it out and fake a smile in office everyday. Even if I wanted to ask about her health, I always get Ms.W to ask for me cos I don't want her to think that I am being nosy. But she is getting on in age(if u get what I mean..dun wish to say too direct), and her health weakens. She is the only person in the office that treats me very nice. The rest are just hypocrites!

I then went to her about a case and she need me to accompany her to retrieve the file to do my work. On the way there, she again warn me to becareful of the people in the office. She said she is getting very tired of people faking smiles to her(Am I include?). She then ask me what am I going to do once my contract expires? I told her that I didn't plan it yet. She ask me to plan my future now cos they may "chop" me off anytime since I am on contract basis. She said that in office, people may smile at you infront but behind your back, said alot of bad stuff about you. She hates these kinda people. I hate it too and I know who are those who backstab me now. Just that I don't wish to say or complain. Chat lesser to them then I think everything will be fine. Now then I know that the ugly girl who sat opposite me is actually one of the Managers! KNS! Haiz..never judge a book by it's cover! See her so innocent and act blur but she is also one of them who backstab me!(Just learnt about this today). Manager somemore! Pui! She then said for the previous notes, if I were to be questioned, she can stood up and defend for me cos I am following the guide to do. Since they too(The Managers) have no confident to do the job why blame it all on me? I smile at her but in my mind I was doubting her. Is she really going to stand up for me if that were to really happen? I think I will answer it for myself and I don't need her to answer for me. Since I am the one who do the job, then I will do the explaining myself. KNS! This work is getting more complicated than I have imagined.

I think I have to end here. Just have to take a step at a time from now to see how things goes. The new work is really getting more and more difficult to do and I will definitely be aimed for mistakes! Stupid *****!

No comments: