My mind is quite disturb now after visiting a particular site. Sorry that I cannot state the site and I cannot give you the site address. All I can tell you is....the site itself that I happen to see is total anti-Christ. When I look at the site, a particular sentence of the site caught my attention,"Come into the world of your darkness and deepest desires". You all should know what site it is? No no..it's not what you are thinking..very difficult to explain to you here. I cannot state the site! If I tell you the truth, and if any Christians were to know that I viewed the site with a curious look, I will get a slap on my face! All I can say is, it is no pornography...but something "religious". Those who are easily offended by such things, please stop reading now. Don't continue. Just stop here.
I was surprise that there is really such a site exist!? I only know that when the judgement day comes, The Lord will come to the world. But....this particular site also state that the Satan will come to the world when the end-time comes. Huh?! Both of them will be coming at the same time?! Oh no!
Found out something else about Lucifer. Something that the Bible never state! How come it describes differently from the Bible?! As I read deeper and deeper into it, my mind become more and more distress! Alot of "WHY?!" in my mind. The real reason why Lucifer was being sent into Hell states differently at the site. The Bible says something like, Lucifer was a very great Angelic musician but wanted to take over God's place and God was very unhappy about it. So He sent Lucifer into Hell. But that site states a different reason to why Lucifer was REALLY being sent into Hell to be with Satan. It also said that Lucifer and Satan are joined into one but they have different powers and devotees of their religion, prays to either one of them for individual purposes. They also have a different kind of Bible that is way different from the one that the true Christians are holding. Huh? They also have Bible? Yes..they have. But one thing they do not have is the tongues that most Christians spoke. In that religion, they do not speak in tongues. No wonder the Devil don't know what we are saying to God when we say it in tongues! Here comes the surprise: The Devil, known as Satan, is actually NOT a spiritual being. So what are the devotees praying to I don't understand?
No wonder my mind and my body are "fighting" ALL THE TIME! When I happened to see the symptoms a Cult devotees have, I was shock!!! Totally shock!!! Cos...I BEHAVE ALMOST LIKE THEM!!! Just that I didn't know!!! God!! Help me!!! I don't want to be with Satan!!! Help!!! Although the Devil could provide me with things that I desires for but....the thing is..the Price I had to pay for is beyond what I could afford! But I guess it's too late to turn back. I do not know how to turn back! No no no!!! I don't want to go back to my past!!! I don't want to do things that will make HuiYi cry!!! I don't want!!! Help!!!
Why can he control the thing that God cannot control me over? - My Mind. A sister told me once when I shared that I am considering of joining..a long time ago. She told me to think twice. After browsing though several websites about cult, one thing I have learnt, once you really step into that "other religion", THERE IS NO TURNING BACK! And believe me, from then on, the one that is controlling your whole life and your soul, is not YOU yourself. Is the Devil. The sad thing is..when you're being controlled by the Devil, you yourself WON'T even know it! Just like me...I just learnt about it a moment ago. A few of the symptoms are there! No wonder there's no peace in my life these days! *Stress* The site said the Hell is actually not as scary as the Bible claims and Fire is part of them. If Hell is really a beautiful place whereby we could do the things we can't do(where the Bible states the 10 commandments clearly), why is God upset if he cast the sinner into the lake of fire? He should be rejoice cos he is casting the sinners to a place whereby they could finally sin what they want and enjoy their life there where they could finally fulfilled their deepest desires!
Being torn apart spiritually again. I don't wish to speak to Bro cos I know he will be extremely angry and most probably will ask,"Why you go and visit such sites?!" A part of me was glad that I did visit the site to know that I had such symptoms with me and maybe I could seek help and to draw near to God more closer than before. Devil is so scary! Lord, I am sorry. This time, I will never let go of your hand no matter what! Just don't let me be with Satan or Lucifer! I don't mind getting hurt as long as I don't hurt the ones around me! Although I had never seen HuiYi cry before but I don't want her to cry because of me! Another part of me was upset cos I had alot of "Why" in my head that no one can answers except maybe the Devil himself!
I had a feeling my tag board is going to be flooded with alot of scoldings later on..anyway, I will accept it. I am now struggling with some decisions(Body, spirit and mind are "fighting" at the same time now..it's torturing!)
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