Chat with him yesterday night till the wee hours of the morning. I keep on probing him something and finally he told me. When I heard it, half of me was very happy but somehow at the same time, I feel very confuse, very uncertain and I have no confidence in myself. I never told him the exact reason why. Only a few of my close friends knows. There are a lot of doubts in my mind and a lot of "what ifs" questions keep on lingering on the back of my head. Maybe it's because that I've been hurt too deeply by my past relationships. The kind of hurt that I don't think ANY of the girls should go through. That is also the reason why I tend to be over-protective of my female friends(I am deeply sorry by this part). If I happen to find out any signs of abuse, be it physically, mentally or emotionally in any of my friends from their future boyfriends, I will ask my friend to leave him immediately! I just don't want them to suffer the way I did. Maybe I will just wait...but maybe eventually I won't tell him anything. I am very scared to get hurt again...especially after some incidents happened...
Went to the basement with Sharon. She said that I look slim with the new blouse. Erm...that's my Mum's blouse. I had no other clothes to wear. She then "feel" my waist for the very first time! I was very shock cos she never ever touch me before. Although she's a girl but somehow her action makes me feel very uncomfortable. She's not even my close friend or close colleague! Jolene don't even touch me like that! The most she only hold my arm! If my close girlfriends were to touch me that way, I really don't mind. But not when you are someone that I am not so familiar with or not so close with! Sorry..maybe I am being over-sensitive but that's me! Unless you are my very long-time friend, close friend or close colleague, please don't "hold" me! Especially from behind! I felt somewhat scared but I didn't say or do anything more.
Went to the basement with Sharon. She said that I look slim with the new blouse. Erm...that's my Mum's blouse. I had no other clothes to wear. She then "feel" my waist for the very first time! I was very shock cos she never ever touch me before. Although she's a girl but somehow her action makes me feel very uncomfortable. She's not even my close friend or close colleague! Jolene don't even touch me like that! The most she only hold my arm! If my close girlfriends were to touch me that way, I really don't mind. But not when you are someone that I am not so familiar with or not so close with! Sorry..maybe I am being over-sensitive but that's me! Unless you are my very long-time friend, close friend or close colleague, please don't "hold" me! Especially from behind! I felt somewhat scared but I didn't say or do anything more.
Yeh! Feel very happy! He came to my soon-to-be-ex-workplace to look for me! He cook Japanese set rice for me! Didn't manage to finish the remaining one fish that he cook. Cos feeling very full but still I keep forcing myself to eat(Cos the dish is cook by him). He said,"Haiyo! If you can't finish then never mind lor" Actually I went for lunch 15 minutes earlier. The rest of my colleagues also went for early lunch. Yao Si wor! I then heck care and went for early lunch too. I don't want him to wait too long. The fishes he cook was very nice! Before I open the lunch box, he said to me,"Sorry..don't look really nice". But okay leh. He observe the other day I bought a small fish to eat and he figure it out that it should be no problem for me to eat the fish that he cook. Erm...he observe me? No lah..I think too much.
After that he took me for a walk as I still have quite some time left. His cousin tease him when he left the house. Haha! Very cute. The other day his cousin chat with me using his msn and ask me some questions which I don't wish to answer. The way she ask is way too direct. I don't want to answer is because I am afraid that he will see it. I don't wish to let him know too soon. Maybe I will let him know "when the time is right". Along the way, I tried to sing his composed song but I couldn't get the tune right. He then strain to hear my singing and said,"Sing lah". Then he ask me something,"Why is your face so red?" Oops! Haiyo! Don't listen to my singing lah. I don't sing well. Bid him good bye after he sent me off back to my office.
Went back to office 10 minutes late. Oops! Nor then ask,"Oei..that one who buy for you?" pointing at the desserts. I blush and said,"Erm...no lah" She said,"oooh I know! Your sayang?" I quickly said,"No lah! Not my sayang! My friend only!" Liew..then kena tease for the rest of the afternoon not only by her. But also from another colleague from another department beside me. I then shared one of the desserts he bought for me to her. She smiled and said,"Thank you".
I think I will have to end here for now. Will blog again some other time.
P.S: Don't buy the essential oil for me..okay? Cos I know that small thing is quite expensive..Anyway I don't need it..I think? I don't know how to use.
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