After that my father grill chicken wings(yum yum!)and he cook the vegetables I handed it to him after I have finish cutting. My brother keep walking in and out of the kitchen and asked,"Is the food ready yet?"I have to rush to work as I work 12pm yesterday and this cause my Dad to cook it in a hurry. But overall it still taste nice. Actually I don't mind that I went late for work cos it has been quite a long time since I had taste my Dad's cooking. Although he is not a good cook compared to my Mum but as I grow, I slowly learnt to appreciate his cooking even though it doesn't taste nice on certain dishes that he made. But..still..I do not know how to express to him my thankfulness for the food that he has made. Like I said, I am a person who don't know how to express myself well and at times, it fustruates me.
I then went to work on time. Around evening, Yue Ming came and pass me the paper that I accidently swop with her during fellowship last week. When I saw how she dress for office work, I then thought to myself that I may need money for new clothes and shoes.
She then shop around and chat with me on alot of things. After chatting, I find that she is not as bad as I had imagine after all. She told me alot of things that surprise me. Haiz..now then I realize I am still a baby Christian -_-". I then told her about my struggles and she ask me to stay in W117 and see how things goes. Almost everyone keep saying that Brother Tony is a good Leader. She even told me some incidents of how Brother Tony handle things with his patience. Those who are with Brother Tony for quite a long time, may I ask you has he ever lecture you infront of make-up cell group members or new comers? This question I do not know. Only you can answer it for me. But I have been to make up cell groups and I met incidents where the cell group leader lecture their cell group members infront of us(or me for that matter). I do not know how the cell group members felt but as for me, I was thinking in my mind,"If you wanna raise your unhappiness on certain incidents, please wait for the make-up cell group members to leave before you lecture them. As to save their "face". Or even better, speak to them before even the make-up cell group members arrive."
YueMing then left after purchasing a bag. After she left, I keep thinking alot of things in my mind of what she had told me. I am struggling with my decision. Cos if I were to remain in W117, I will feel very lost as my close Sisters-in-Christ are not in W117 and I am left alone to grow. If I chose to leave, I will have to adapt to a new cell group and this makes me uncomfortable. I am an anti-social person remember? But Brother Tony said to me on Saturday,"If you are still with us, I promise you that I will help you to grow". His words are still echoing in my mind until now. When I pour out this problem to my god-brother, he told me to make the decision on my own. He ask me not to follow others just because majority of them are like that. I must make the decision on my own with my own feelings to what I feel that it is "right". Haiz..so confusing.
After work, I then message Nor that I won't be helping her in her shop for a week as I have to go home early to take care of my family, especially my Brother..although he is big enough to take care of himself, but still I am worried. But I do not know what. I dare not leave him in the house alone since young. It's not that I do not trust him but..I don't know how to explain the feeling that I felt. I am just not at ease leaving him alone at home. She then message me back saying,"Don't tell me!"Haiz..when I tried to explain to her in SMS since she don't want to hear me face-to-face,she message back,"I never say. Whatever!"Haiz..Nor, I am really very tired. You told me that you are a person who think logically. Now I tell you something logically you don't want to hear and you don't understand my situation! What is this man?! Don't force me to choose! You should know my decision and choice! Don't make me say Goodbye to you one day! I really don't wish to do that! I can give you up easily if I want to ever since Ryan's incident! You want me to refresh to you what happened?! I only can tell you, ELZY LIED! But if you still choose to believe her than me, I have nothing to say since I earse the edvidence! I am speaking the truth and my concious is clear! I have nothing to hide! If you dare, ask her out one day and we sit down and talk! This time, I wanna hear what she says! But still, I insist that she has lied! The story she told you and me are different! Some "friend" you have!
I think I shall end here for now. Will blog again soon.
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