Singing + Church

Yesterday morning, I went to Jurong East to collect the CD that I've pre-ordered. I then went to Seng Kang to see the shops there. On the way there, Jeffrey called me to ask me to meet him for lunch before going to church. He was planning to reach church at 2.00pm?! I then told him that I couldn't meet him for lunch as I was going out.

On the way to Seng Kang, I then SMS HuiYi and she SMS me back a message that made me cry. A few people look at me as I cried while reading the message. After shopping and looking around at Seng Kang, I then took a cab to Tampines Pasa Malam as my handphone casing spoilt after I drop it onto the escalator. I then bought a new casing and ask the person to fix the top part for me. I then went to Expo alone.

When I reach church, the moment I saw HuiYi, I cried and she ask me what happen but I refuse to say. After that we then went to look for seats and HuiYi and the rest was unhappy that YueMing shouted at them and they went to the other side of the hall to sit. I then look at HuiYi quietly. YueMing came and apologies to HuiYi before the service but HuiYi is still a little unhappy.

After service I went to buy food before meeting Brother Tony for Bible study. I almost cried during Bible study with him but I controlled my tears. He was surprise to learnt what kind of person I am and he ask me to be wise in choosing my friends since they will lead me spiritually astray, he ask me to socialize with them less frequently as they will only help me to sin against the Lord. The lesson coincidently collide with what is currently happening with the cell group and he shared his views with me and told me what I had done wrong in my part. After that, he ask me about my vision in church and I told him about my "dreams" in church and he was very happy about it and told me to qualities of what the position I am aiming in church requires me to have. It sounds very simple but I know it's not an easy job. He differenciate to me how a baby Christian and a matured Christian should be and why are they different? An image appeared on my mind when he shared about this and again I tried to control my tears. The hurt inside my heart is just too much but I didn't share with him about this. I just keep quiet.

After the Bible study, he ask me am I crying while he was preaching? I nod and told him that it's also because of other things. He said he saw redness in my eyes and a small amount of tears forming on my eyes as he shared. He wants to know why am I crying but I told him,"Nothing. It's okay Brother Tony". He then ask me to share with him if I feel comfortable sharing. YueMing and HuiJia came and chat with me while Brother Tony giving Bible study to another group of people. If I don't control my tears, I'll cry infront of him and I'm afraid that it'll scare him. So I tried to control if I can. It is also the very first time I cried during Bible study.

After that I sing "The Potter's Hand" to YueMing but she can't recall that song although she find it quite familiar. I told her that it's a very old song(actually I heard it in Evangle's Family Church when I was attending that church 7 years ago). She then comment that I've a nice voice in singing but I don't agree with her as I find that I am quite lousy in my singing especially for high notes. I can't sing high notes and that is my difficulty in singing. I told her that I was aiming for choir but I change to usher instead as I find that my singing is quite lousy. She then sing a small part of a christian song which I have never heard before and I find that she is great in her singing. She can sing almost the same tune as the vocal supervisor in church(as least that's what I feel). She then said that she is no match with the vocal supervisor as the supervisor could sing certain notes beautifully that she can't really sing that kind of tune.

I then took the train with them and listen to YuZhi's mp3's songs. He has alot of J-pop songs on his mp3 and there's a song that I am familiar with. It's "Amazing Kiss" sing by BoA. I like that song alot although I do not know what she is singing about and I don't understand the language. They then got off at City Hall and Yu Zhi took back his mp3 player. I then listen to Jeffery's talking for the rest of the journey as he shared about his work and the photographs he has taken. He tried to take my picture but I keep shooing away from his camera. I don't quite like to take pictures as I look very ugly in it and I am still trying very hard not to fear videocameras as it reminds me of something which I truly wanna forget.

After that I bid some of them goodbye as I get off at my station and walk home.